Stay young!

Saturday, November 30

Put your bright light on and shine!

6:17 Saturday

Today is supposed to be a rainy, windy day switching over to snow tomorrow. Some friends are supposed to stop by this morning and we’re supposed to go see my mother-in-law Annette in St. Charles. She’s still living by herself even though there have been concerns for some time. I just keep my mouth shut and let her kids deal with it. She shouldn’t be living alone.

Today I’m feeling a little better and more clear with less congestion and coughing. I took two short naps yesterday, used my nebulizer three times and flushed my sinuses with salt water with the water pik three times. Crazy but whatever works...At least I haven’t had full blown pneumonia.

I did go out to Costco, filled up with gas and went to Walmart. There was a lot of suburban Black Friday shopping crowds and traffic. I hate both crowds and traffic so I just got my few needed things and got the hell back home. Being congested, walking around in those big stores made me more wheezey and weak feeling.The last several days since Tuesday I’ve felt weak in the legs. I felt like I’d caught some virus Tuesday night as I felt SUPER creepy shitty, bad chills and a fever. Who the f knows? Feeling better and clearer today and legs feel better. 

I’m concerned about both my daughters and am praying things resolve and improve. I hadn’t seen my sons in a while. On Thanksgiving they looked healthy and happy. I hugged them tight and held on to them a couple times. This has been a long bumpy winding road with my tribe.

I have backed way off social media for a number of reasons. Hacking, scams, way too much marketing and charity begging, waaaaay too much bragging, fighting, drama, political conflict, too much fake news and let’s not forget the Russian meddling are just TOO much to tolerate any longer.  So F it. I subscribe to Apple news and can read the Washington Post, New York Times, Chicago Trib and tons of other newspapers and magazines. I watch CNN News, Anderson Cooper and ABC 7 TV news. Sometimes too much news is stressful itself. I have books on my Kindle App and Audible to get to. 

Friday, November 29


It’s now 4:36. I’ve been up about 90 minutes. I woke up coughing, needing to take my thyroid pill and pee. Since I was up I put my Eucerin dry skin cream on my face and neck and one my arms and legs. I get so dry in the winter. I brushed my hair and looked at in the mirror. I keep considering a short pixie cut but have let it grow down past my shoulders. I don’t want to be one of those eccentric old ladies who let their hair grow long and thin and scraggly and unkempt. I’m still considering it and have left it long at least for the winter. I am not someone to keep the exact same hairstyle all the time. At least with long hair you have options of doing it many ways. I like options and not to be stuck with just one look.

Yesterday I left the house before 7. I took 64 East to 39 by Rockford and went to Peoria that way. I got to Vicki’s house about 20 minutes early. Vicki has increasing bathroom control issues so I had her use the restroom right before we left and put on an additional absorbent pad so she had double protection. I also put a waterproof pad on the beautiful perforated leather front passenger seat on my new Kia Sorrento AWD SXL. Vicki can barely stand up to help herself from the wheelchair in and out of the car so you have to give her a lot of physical assistance. Her group home corporation transports her and other disabled residents with a big specially designed van with a wheel chair lift. Her wheelchair is fairly heavy fold me to fold up and hoist in and out of the back of my SUV. But once we got her in we were off and she was in a happy cheerful mood and was singing and seat dancing along to the radio.
At the restaurant was my younger daughter Sarah and her husband Keith and their three boys Milo, Oscar, Arlington and his mother Carol and her husband Joe and my ex mother in law Betty and my sons Alex and Brian and his girlfriend Jaime. Everyone was so happy to see Vicki and there were lots of hugs. I had to keep careful watch of what Vicki was drinking and eating so there wasn’t an unpleasant incident. It was a very nice get together. Then Vicki and I stopped at my daughter Samanthas in Norris to drop something off. They all had been sick and Samantha had a swollen infected tonsil so we didn’t stay long. Then I took Vicki back to her house and drove back home. I got to my house at about five and the last half hour driving at dusk dark was difficult for me but I made it. Mike got home from work about 6:30. It was a long good day. It’s a bit weird with combined families and divorces and exes but you do what you gotta do. Mikes daughter and her husband live a few blocks from Mike’s office. She cooked a big dinner yesterday and hosted her husband’s family but brought Mike 2 big containers of food to bring home so we had some of that.
It’s weird how the stages of your life and your role and obligations change as time passes. I’m no longer the one organizing, cooking and hosting things. That’s okay. It’s a little weird but okay.
I have another student band concert Tuesday night. I told the other two lady teachers I’d prefer not to lead the rehearsals and conduct this year. My vision and balance were a problem at times last year. It’s a little weird this year but it’s okay. I am teaching the lessons at five schools but just helping at rehearsals. The other teachers haven’t been much help the past couple years so I felt they could take it this year. I’m slowly exiting mentally and emotionally. So be it. Life moves on.

Mike went to work. I have some errands to run in a while. 

Tuesday, November 26

Tuesday Toozdai

Yesterday I had a series of unpleasant email exchanges with a fifth grade teacher at my Monday school and it’s been bugging me ever since. Eventually I just stopped responding to her bullshit. Something is clearly wrong with the woman. So ever since yesterday afternoon that’s been bugging me and upsetting me. She has a reputation for being a nasty bitch. I am usually able to ignore and sidestep them but her initial email was rude, condescending and insulting so I felt I needed to respond and so it went back and forth for a while. Now I’ve decided I should have just ignored her first email and left it at that. OH WELL......six more months and I won’t have to deal with this bullshit. Ahhhhh I have to just let it go and not let it keep bugging me. I cannot allow others to disturb my peace.

It’s supposed to rain this afternoon. I got some 24- hour Allegra D yesterday to try it. I think it’s helping. I don’t feel as congested. My daughter Samantha said it’s the only thing that helps her. Seems to be working.

When I’m driving back home today from South Elgin to Huntley I’ll be feeling a great feeling of relief to be off for five days. I’m looking forward to spending time with my family this week. Overall I’m feeling good. I’m so grateful for my life and blessings ( seriously).

Monday, November 25

55 degrees today

I woke up way too early but I like that. It’s supposed to get up to the mid 50s today. One year ago we had a bad ice storm. Crazy weather.

I’m feeling better but still congested but at least I’m headed in the right direction.

Last night I did a bunch of research and also spent some quality bonding time with my husband. We’ve been together 22 years now and weathered a lot of storms.

I started with a little Christmas decorating yesterday. Our house is smaller this year so decorating will be smaller but cozy and charming.

Sunday, November 24

Sunny day

Today I’m feeling better than the last two. I did sleep pretty well and wasn’t up coughing my guts out. I’ve started flushing my sinuses with saline every few hours and that’s helping. I’m so so tired of the congestion and wheezing and being out of breath. It’s hard for me to do my job. It’s hard to do just about anything. 
Yesterday we had an argument. I’ve just been pretty fed up for a while. We’ve kind of made up now but we, of course, haven’t talked or resolved anything.
In my experience men can never apologize or admit guilt or accept any responsibility for relationship problems. It’s just the nature of the beast. I guess I’m just now finally realizing it and it’s bitter to me. Yes he has done a lot for me but that doesn’t earn him the right to treat me like chopped liver or be an asshole. No sir-e.

Anyway so I’m not feeling as congested but feeling glum. I did finally repot my money plant tree so at least that was good. I’m making soup in the crock pot. I took some stuff out to the back patio and swept out the garage. I’m getting winded easily and start sweating. At least I haven’t had pneumonia this year.

I have to go to the store in a while to get a couple things. I’ll need to prep for work later. We only have Monday & Tuesday this week. Mike always has to work on Thanksgiving. I’m driving down to Peoria to pick up my handicapped sister Vicki from her group home and taking her to a restaurant in Lewistown that’s wheelchair accessible for Vicki and my kids and grandkids are coming for Thanksgiving lunch. After we visit I’m taking Vicki home and then staying over at my Daughter’s house. My kids’ houses have steps and are not wheelchair friendly. It’s just easier going to a restaurant.

I ordered an DNA test. It hasn’t come yet but I have been researching my ancestors and finding some int

Tuesday, November 19

Tuesday 4:47 pm

Tonight is the beginners’ first concert. My last one. I came home for a while. Mike is taking me back so I’m not driving at night. I’m not supposed to but I know he doesn’t see well at night either. At least I’ve had my cataracts removed! In two weeks it will be the sixth graders’ concert, then March and May and I’m done.

Wednesday, November 13


I’ve been in a weird mood lately and mostly keeping to myself. I went to see my kids last weekend. I so needed that. Good for the soul. I’m still struggling with my mostly constant bronchial congestion and wheezing. I’m using my nebulizer now before going to work. Two trimesters to go.

Thursday, November 7


I’ve been feeling very introspective lately and thinking more about the grand scheme and meaning of life and how my path has been guided through so much turbulence.

I am so grateful for all I’ve been given and the ( often painful) lessons I’ve learned about people and life.

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