Friday, October 20

Friday am

It’s 5:31am. I’ve been awake an hour or two. I had a dream my mother told me her breath was black and she was weak and dying. My mother died of melanoma in 1992. I don’t know what the dream meant other than I’ve been congested and struggling for weeks now. It’s worse at night when I lie back. The dream was pretty disturbing. I had to get up and cough up a bunch of phlegm to clear my breathing temporarily. I know this will pass at some point. Fall is no longer good for me.

We are driving to Maywood this morning. I have labs at Loyola at 9 and an appointment with my new oncologist Dr. Cahill at 10. The oncologist I had since 2015 retired and was replaced by another good one who I saw only twice before he took another job. Loyola has been searching for a replacement for many months. My routine check up has been delayed many months and now it’s today. I’m hoping things go well and traffic isn’t bad. Mike always insists on going but then bitches about it dreading the traffic and the commute. I wish he’d just stay home. I don’t need his complaining. We were supposed to have a bunch of neighbors over tomorrow for a chili cook off but now the guy who is pouring concrete driveway ribbons and extending our back patio has finally gotten caught up and to us. He already swooped in and dug up the area and placed flags. He’s going to pour concrete today or tomorrow. We postponed our chili cook off to next Saturday. A couple people can’t make it but it is what it is….

Sunday morning I have to go to the Sun City Artisan Fair here at our main lodge and sit at a booth and try to sell some of our neighborhood 3 cookbooks we created. We’ve already sold a lot and made more profit than anticipated but then I reordered more due to so many requests so now we’re trying to sell the rest. 
Next week I finally get around to my many times rescheduled dental x-rays and teeth cleaning, two nights of chorus practice, a ladies’ Halloween party at a local sports bar and the rescheduled chili party and a couple water aerobics classes in the mornings. 

I’m tired of stuff. I need to rejuvenate myself. I need a reboot. That’s what the stem cell transplant was supposed to do ( in my mind). Attitude is everything. I must whip my attitude into shape and not let this congestion wear me down.
Yesterday I had lunch with a retired elementary special Ed autism teacher. She has major family drama going on with her two adult kids all the time and is caring for and paying for several grand kids. She has major balance problems and very noticeable hand tremors that make eating very challenging. Everybody has struggles. We do our best and keep going. 

Just keep swimming.

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