7:59 am
I’m drinking my morning coffee. I have brain fog from the Benadryl I took last night. So far it looks overcast. Mike is watching the morning news. I’m so exhausted with the constant Covid-19 coverage and whatever the latest atrocity is with out demented fucknut president and his cult of deplorables. I wish I could wash my ears and brain out with hot water and bleach to make no trace of bullshit linger. I’m worried / upset with a couple of my family members. I’ve experienced this before. There’s nothing that I can do so I’ll leave it alone and stay silent. I’ll pack up my feelings and push myself forward through the emotional storm. I HAVE to keep moving forward. I HAVE to stay positive. Mike says I’m not tough enough. I’m tough in my own way. I just care and worry deeply. I have to put Sensitive Suzy back in the box and move on. Today I’ll be rereading positive affirmations, counting my blessings, walking and swimming. As of this Friday our lodge pool will be closed due to Covid phase 3 being enforced. I’m getting my pool time in today and tomorrow.
This morning I have to drive over to my doctor’s office in Bartlett to pick up my health / drug screening form for district 300 and then I have to go to the D300 central office to turn in my forms and get fingerprinted to get cleared for the long term music sub job. It’s kind of a pain in the ass to go through but it will add some money to the coffers.
8:57am I took Bitzi up to the top of the steep hill in the park across the street. Although I wore a pretty warm jacket I was still uncomfortable with the biting wind. I came back home, decided not to change clothes, fixed my hair and actually took time to apply makeup ( I rarely wear any these days. Now I’m waiting around a bit to leave for Bartlett and Carpentersville.
I made a reservation at Stoney Creek for next Monday night so I can spend time with Sarah and the boys. Normally I stay with her and Keith but now she’s left him and they’re staying at the farm with her dad ( my ex).I try to stay out of it but I know it’s hard for her. The rest of her family and I have been wishing she’d leave him for a long time. He is angst filled and oppressive and extremely needy. She’s taking control of her dads farm now since he is bad off with stage four colon cancer. It’s a very bad situation.
I haven’t told Mike I’m going yet. He’ll have a total FIT about me staying in a hotel during the pandemic. You do what you gotta do. We’ll be very careful and we’ll be fine. Mike always has to work on Thanksgiving. He doesn’t like turkey so I think I’m going to stuff and roast a chicken and make a couple special side dishes and a nice dessert. I told him to invite his mother but I don’t know if he did yet.
I’m leaving in a few minutes and spending my driving time thinking positive thoughts and being grateful for my life.
. Live on the good parts. Live for the good parts.
12:36pm
The fingerprinting took way too long. Very tedious. Their district office was surprisingly small and plain. The lady who did my fingerprinting wasn’t friendly or cordial at all bordering on a rip. Perhaps she’s suffering with a nasty yeast infection or something.
I took Bitzi for another walk once I got home. The wind is still pretty cutting. I made myself a grilled chicken low- carb burrito for lunch ( very good). Mike came out of his office and made himself a grilled cheese. I can hear him crunching all the way in the sitting room. He sounds like a horse when he chews. It must be the big back molars and the resonance of his big skull and neck. He eats his lunch every day leaning over the kitchen island while reading the paper. Never sits down.