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Showing posts with label #determination. Show all posts
Showing posts with label #determination. Show all posts

Saturday, December 7

Time of life

I tried a new kind of ground coffee in my percolator this morning, Dulce De Leche. It’s okay. My sister gave it to me a few months ago and I hadn’t tried it. So-so.

We are driving down to Peoria this morning to attend a Christmas family decorating party at my sister Vicki’s group home for handicapped women. Parking at the house is tight and aside from the residents’s rooms the house doesn’t have much space for visitors but Vicki will be happy to see us. I think my sister Sallie is coming too.

I’m still fighting  and feeling weary of my congestion and horrid coughing attacks. It makes me so tired, depressed and sick of it I don’t feel like doing much of anything. We had talked about going swimming in the big pool here at our main lodge in Sun City last night but when Mike got home I didn’t feel like going at all. Had I made myself go I might have felt better. The steam from the sauna and hot tub would have probably been good for me.

Since September I’ve had 3 different antibiotics and 3 separate rounds of prednisone for this. It just comes back....SO I’m just dealing with it.

I’m giving the grandkids money for Christmas. Most of them are big enough to have their own tastes and likes. Their moms can help them choose. No sense in me shopping and buying stuff they don’t want or like. My youngest daughter has miscarried twins so that was a sad thing the last couple weeks. I think she’s doing better now. They already have the three little boys who are a hand full to keep on track. 

I’ve been doing ancestry search lately and discovering some cool things. My DNA analysis should be completed soon. It looks like most of my ancestors came from Gloucestershire and Derbyshire areas in England. Not a big surprise but still pretty fascinating to uncover facts about ancestors from the 17 and 1800s. I want to do this research and pass it on to my tribe.

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking and evaluating my life lately. It occurs to me that I have a lot of friends and old friends who are kind of leeches. I’ve realized it’s always me who makes the contact, communication, invitation, the effort. A few of them claim they’re plagued by “ panic attacks” and afraid to drive very far and are insecure about extending invitations. Well Jesus, we’re not dorky kids anymore. When you’re 60 that’s a dumbass assed lame excuse. I’m just fed up with the emotional vampires and users. These people will occasionally text about they miss you, we’ve got to get together but it’s always left for me to make the arrangements, do the driving, make the effort. Fuck that. I wish them well but I’m moving on. I want to surround myself only with good people who truly care and aren’t selfish users. Yes I’m getting more pragmatic and crusty in my old age. I will move forward with my family tribe and a very few rare jewels of friends.

I have to go throw some stuff in a bag. We’re staying over night in Peoria after we leave Vicki’s house. I have to pack my nebulizer and sinus flush water pik. I am higher maintenance now. Four years ago I was just getting out of the hospital at Loyola in Maywood after having been there for two weeks for the stem cell transplant. When I left the hospital I had to go to a nearby hotel for a week and come back to the hospital every day for check ups. When I finally was released to go back home I had to be in isolation for a few months or wear a mask if I went out in public and be very careful about germ exposure.....I guess I AM WAAAAY better off now considering everything!

Sunday, November 24

Sunny day

Today I’m feeling better than the last two. I did sleep pretty well and wasn’t up coughing my guts out. I’ve started flushing my sinuses with saline every few hours and that’s helping. I’m so so tired of the congestion and wheezing and being out of breath. It’s hard for me to do my job. It’s hard to do just about anything. 
Yesterday we had an argument. I’ve just been pretty fed up for a while. We’ve kind of made up now but we, of course, haven’t talked or resolved anything.
In my experience men can never apologize or admit guilt or accept any responsibility for relationship problems. It’s just the nature of the beast. I guess I’m just now finally realizing it and it’s bitter to me. Yes he has done a lot for me but that doesn’t earn him the right to treat me like chopped liver or be an asshole. No sir-e.

Anyway so I’m not feeling as congested but feeling glum. I did finally repot my money plant tree so at least that was good. I’m making soup in the crock pot. I took some stuff out to the back patio and swept out the garage. I’m getting winded easily and start sweating. At least I haven’t had pneumonia this year.

I have to go to the store in a while to get a couple things. I’ll need to prep for work later. We only have Monday & Tuesday this week. Mike always has to work on Thanksgiving. I’m driving down to Peoria to pick up my handicapped sister Vicki from her group home and taking her to a restaurant in Lewistown that’s wheelchair accessible for Vicki and my kids and grandkids are coming for Thanksgiving lunch. After we visit I’m taking Vicki home and then staying over at my Daughter’s house. My kids’ houses have steps and are not wheelchair friendly. It’s just easier going to a restaurant.

I ordered an DNA test. It hasn’t come yet but I have been researching my ancestors and finding some int

Hello darkness my old friend

It’s 5:55 and I’ve been up for forty minutes. I’ll leave here shortly to drive the mile to our lodge to use the pool and workout. I didn’t g...