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Showing posts with label February. Show all posts
Showing posts with label February. Show all posts

Monday, February 15

Fighting off gloom and depression

This is a typical shitty cold overcast bucket of suck February day. I was up in the night coughing because my sinuses were draining despite my foam wedge pillow. I got up and took a Benadryl, used Flonase and read on my iPad for a while. I canceled my 6:30am pool appointment and turned off my 5:15 rooster crow alarm. I slept until 7:30 and now feeling okay. I took Bitzi for a short walk but it’s too bitterly cold outside for her. I rescheduled my pool time for 12:15. Mike is in election hell now and preparing to do all his Zoom candidate interviews. He has to record them all they’ll be published on the newspaper website. He is not happy. 

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

4:56

I had my pool time, drove to Discount Tires in Carpentersville and got air in my tires, drove to Algonquin Kohl’s to return two Amazon items and came home. Damn it’s cold! I made some chicken noodle soup and that’s about it. 

Saturday, February 29

Blackberry pancakes

10:24 It’s Saturday and I’ve been up for a couple hours. We went out a did some errands and I made blackberry pancakes when we got back. I just ate one with my coffee. Pretty darned tasty. Mike just left to go to the Chicago golf show with his son Casey, son-in-law Justin and nephew Matthew. He’ll be gone several hours. I’m going to go get my car washed and then go hang out at the lodge pool #justkeepswimming, #watertherapy, #wellness. I am trying for calmer, happier, healthier.

This Tuesday Mike goes to the doctor for his shoulders and neck issues and Thursday he’s taking his mom for her PET scan and brain MRI. That will be a big ordeal to get done.

Monday, February 24

FN Monday

Pretty bad sore throat this morning. The sky is really gloomy and overcast. There’s a bunch of snow, rain and wind coming tonight and tomorrow.

More later. 





5:02 pm  I went to the dentist after work and got my three fillings done. Now the left side of my face is numb.
At about 12:45 Michael called me and said his mother was having a complete hysterical sobbing breakdown. His Aunt called him and said she was over there and Annette kind of had a nervous breakdown and was sobbing and wailing so much she couldn’t talk and could barely breathe. It’s another week until her PET scan and brain MRI to see if the left lung cancer has spread but she is totally losing it. They called the doctor and her nurse called back and finally got her to calm down. This isn’t good. She shouldn’t be living alone. I’ve said it for a long time but they don’t listen to me.

Friday, February 21

And now it’s here

As has been the case the last couple weeks I’m dragging, slow and sleepy this morning wanting to go curl up under the covers and sleep a couple more hours. I put my gents ya in eye drops in this morning and now I’m feeling pain behind the left eyeball. That’s the one that had the detached retina. Not good. Maybe the drops are doing something in there. Probably ought to see an ophthalmologist.....I haven’t gone for a couple years. I just got so freakin sick of doctors after the stem cell transplant.

I need to go prep my lunch & coffee travel mug to take in my car with me for lunch. And get dressed and do my hair and makeup. I am so not in to this. There is a gloom weighing me down. BUT gotta do it to keep my job, not get in trouble, keep getting paid, snap out of it.

Thursday, February 20

Almost Friday almost the weekend

6:25 pm

I’ve been home from work for a while. I did some school work, called the pharmacy, heated up and ate some leftover ramen noodles with peas, corn and butter, read emails, washed my face, brushed my hair, used my prescription eye drops, take my antibiotic and put my pajamas on. I have infection in my lower lungs. I knew that before going to the doctor yesterday. I’m rattle-y, junky and wheeze-y. It makes it difficult and aggravating singing and playing instrument at work all day. My throat hurts and my voice is pretty hoarse. Very attractive. I am SO SICK OF THIS SHIT!!!We watched the democratic presidential debate last night. It got pretty frickin nasty and heated! I almost felt like I was watching WWE wrestling.




I am still pretty depressed about stuff but trying really really hard not to be.

Wednesday, February 19

Porcupine in my throat

The TV news makes my head throb. I want to watch it but I don’t want to watch it. Reading the paper is kind of the same but usually not as cheesy. Yesterday president Trump commuted the prison sentence of former Illinois governor Rod Blagojevich. That didn’t surprise me at all. Trump is just doing things for that flash, shock and publicity. I hope I live to see the day he’s run out of office and locked up for all his crimes.
Tonight is another Democratic presidential debate in Las Vegas, the first one including billionaire former New York mayor Michael Bloomberg. He is the eighth richest person on earth worth an estimated 68 billion dollars. I am anxious to see how he functions at the debate.

I feel like crap this morning. My throat is sore, I’m congested and my eyes have been watering, itching, matting shut and sensitive for weeks. I’m going to the doctor after school today. I just feel like sleeping all the time lately. Part of that is the weather and gloominess every day.

I want to be here....



Yesterday Mike took his mother to the oncologist. Her tumor on the left side is about 2” in diameter. It is mutation PDL1. The oncologist said this cancer type responds well to immune therapy but she has to have tests to make sure it hasn’t metastasized to other organs before treatment is decided. She has to have a brain MRI and a full body PET scan. Once they were done with the oncologist appointment it was too late to schedule the scans so Mike will do that today #cancersucks, #lungcancer, #curecancer. Mike is all too familiar with all these procedures, testing and medical linger from being ny cancer advocate for years.


I need to go to the grocery store again. Mike will stop at the store but he doesn’t shop to cook meals. He’ll pick up an item or two if I ask him but mostly he’ll get himself Gatorade or hot dogs or stuff like that. He doesn’t cook so doesn’t get the meal prep shopping deal. Maybe I can go during my time gap between schools. 






Monday, February 17

(Temporary Backup) Dragging to Friday

I am so relieved today is Friday. I’m still feeling drug out, tired and congested from the bad flu I had a couple weeks ago. This time of year is always the same- cold, gloomy, overcast and lots of kids and school staff sick and trying to survive until spring. I did order and receive some packets of zinnia zinnias nd morning glory seeds to plant as soon as spring arrives.  I had bought some hyacinth bulbs that bloomed but we’re kind of shitty and fell over and died so I threw them out. 

I just put a pork roast in the crockpot with seasoning to cook all day. Later when I get home I’ll shred it apart with two forks and add some Open Pit barbecue sauce . Last weekend at the anniversary party they had lots of food but I really liked the pulled pork sliders so I’m trying to make that.
OPEN PIY


Wednesday afternoon I made meatballs in the oven, mashed potatoes, corn , brocolli and also made some vegetable soup with some of the browned ground beef. Yesterday afternoon I doctored the soup up with more stuff and made dinner rolls to go with it so we had soup and fresh rolls for supper.

I still haven’t spoken to my older daughter. I’ve decided I have enough to take care of and I am not going to put up with her verbal abuse. I am guessing her new fibromyalgia medicine has triggered it but nothing excuses her behavior. You teach people how to treat you. Next weekend I’m going to go see my other daughter and grandsons. I haven’t seen them since before Christmas. 

Presidents’ Day

8:11 am This is Presidents’s day and I have the day off from school. Mike has to go in to his newspaper office but he usually doesn’t leave home until 9 or so. I have been sick in varying degrees since September. Right now I have my usual congestion plus my throat is sore and my voice hoarse. I went to Peoria and stayed at the hotel with my three grandsons. My youngest daughter and her husband stayed in another room down the hall. We swam for about 90 minutes Saturday late afternoon but left when the pool got too crazy full. Evidently there were a couple birthday parties going on and the hotel was pretty full. Our rooms were way back on the far end of the property. We had never stayed back there and it was a really long walk to get to the pool and breakfast area. The pool water was a bit chilly for me but the boys didn’t care and had a blast. I ordered from Avantis for dinner and Sarah and Keith went out for a rare alone dinner. The boys were asleep with the TV and lights off by 9:30 but I kept hearing a group of little girls running up and down the hall outside our room giggling and squealing. I fell asleep for a couple hours but woke around 1am hearing someone in the room above us stomping and jumping so I couldn’t go back to sleep for a long time. Sunday morning we woke up, went down for breakfast and we’re all going to go swim for an hour or two but my head felt full and dizzy and I felt like shit so I stayed in the room to tidy up and the rest of them went to swim. We left the hotel around 11 and I drove home. My daughter texted me last night that she didn’t feel well and had a sore throat and white spots on her throat. I just hate this suck-y time of winter when it’s cold, gloomy and everyone is sick. Gaaaah! I keep thinking about going south in February in coming years # bucketofsuck,#winterinchicago, #ineedsunshine
I guess it could be worse.....Mike is taking his mom to the oncologist tomorrow after getting the stage 4 cancer results from her lung biopsy #cancersucks, #cureallcancers. Due to the latest results on his mother Mike has put off getting his painful shoulders and neck problems looked at. When it rains it pours.
It’s supposed to start snowing from 10-1 and then turn to rain for the rest of the day. I have a couple errands to run and then I’m going to the dentist for fillings this afternoon.
I’ve been sleeping with my vaporizer misting on the nightstand with eucalyptus oil in it every night to help me breathe better.





Saturday, February 15

Saturday in the park

The sky is very gray and overcast with  no hint of the sun. Looking out the front window snow covers most of the view. I’m moving slowly this morning. My head feels full and stuffy. Mike is watching The Dog Whisperer in the living room alone and laughing out loud to himself. We haven’t had a pet for five years since Scooter died of lung cancer. We took him to the vet and held him and petted him while the IV drug ended his life. I tear up even now thinking about. Since then my fucking brain cancer came back so I had to have a bunch of chemo and then the Godawful stem cell transplant. My immune system has been rebuilding the last couple years so we’ve been pet free in our home. We might get a puppy this summer. I’d like a cat but Mike is deathly allergic to cats.



I’m going to wrap up the rest of the cake I made yesterday and get it the hell out of here. Neither one of us needs more cake.



Thursday, February 13

Frozen yuck

We got a couple inches of snow and more is coming. It turned significantly colder yesterday. I have my tall Ugg boots on and am wearing my long quilted puffer coat. This too shall pass. Here goes.....






5:12
The drive to school this morning was unpleasant. Now that we live in Sun City Huntley it’s about 18 miles to work every day through hectic suburban traffic. I take I-90 East for 7 miles and then Randall Road to South Elgin. It was snowing, the roads were not cleared very well and Randall Road is busy hell under good conditions. I am not going to miss mornings like that when I’m retired.

Mike’s sister Nancy has been staying with Annette ( their mom) since yesterday when they ( all four siblings) told her her lung biopsy came back stage four cancer. When they told her she was surprisingly calm about it. They made her an appointment with the oncologist and talked to her about what possible tests and treatments she might need. Later on in the evening when only Nancy was there with her she broke down crying. Sometimes bad news takes a while to sink in. Nancy is a flight attendant and has to leave and fly out of O’Hare tomorrow. Mike and his brothers will go over to see her over the weekend but she gets depressed when she’s alone. I’ve told Mike and her before that she can come and live with us. I don’t know what will happen.



My daughter Samantha is still giving me and the rest of the family the silent treatment and none of us have any clue what the hell is her problem. I’m going to see my younger daughter and sons and grandsons this weekend. That will be nice at least.




Monday, February 10

Recliner girl

It’s 4:41 and I’ve been home for a while. I’ve been on the phone with TRS and AIG about retirement. My head is going to explode there’s so much stuff to process. I sort of felt yucky at work today so I got off the phone and took a nice leisurely warm shower and put on my pajamas. I have heard spring birds singing outside the last few days. I heard some as I walked to the mailbox earlier. Hearing them warms my heart and makes me feel better. There IS hope of better days ahead. I get so cranky, miserable and anxious this time of year. It will make me feel better to see the kids this weekend. I’m looking forward to that.
I think Mike just wants to have pulled pork for dinner tonight. That’s easy because it’s already made. I’ll just have a sweet potato. I’m sitting here sideways in my old brown leather recliner. I always sit here and read sideways with my legs draped over the arm. It serves its purpose and is still in okay shape. We’ve trying to save up and put a big chunk of money against the house. We’re going to pay it off completely this summer. That will make retirement a bit easier.

I need to start proofreading my damned posts. Sometimes I’ll go back and reread them and die of embarrassment at the typos and dumbass things that accidentally get in. Often I type posts on my IPad when I’m not quite yet awake and sipping my first coffee. The old one finger pecking on the IPad can also spell disaster. #makeamericasmartagain.

Sunday, February 9

Sunday snow’s a-comin

I made some cinnamon rolls this morning and now I’m finishing my second cup of coffee. It’s supposed to start snowing soon up to three inches and then start raining. I just don’t like the sleet and ice so maybe the rain will just melt all the snow. My friend who lives in Denver just got slammed with a crazy amount of snow so this stuff won’t seems like much compared to that. 

Mike and I didn’t do too much yesterday. We took his car ( black Chevy Tahoe) to Fast Eddies here in Huntley for an exterior wash and interior cleaning. I took my Kia Sorrento there Friday afternoon but just got the exterior wash as it was full of my instruments and school stuff. After the car wash yesterday we went to a couple stores then came home and stayed home. Neither of us are feeling very good or frisky. We’re both tired.  






Mike’s mom had a lung biopsy Thursday of a spot that showed up on a CT scan and she should get the pathology report back tomorrow or Tuesday. It’s the left lung. She had breast cancer on the left about fifteen years ago and was treated with a simple lumpectomy and a little radiation. She’s been pretty depressed since her husband Jerry died three years ago. She’s stopped going to mass, bingo and doesn’t want to go anywhere or take a shower or get dressed. We’ve all tried and tried.      
Depression?







At some Point we’re going to go away to somewhere warm and sunny during February. We both like the thought of the Florida keys. Neither of us like crowds or touristy bullshit places. We really love nature and water.








11:16 It’s snowing very heavily now - crazy heavy but it’s not supposed to last that long or accumulate to much.     We’re cleaning the house, doing laundry and preparing for the coming work week. I think we’ll run out briefly and drop a couple things off at Goodwill. Since our house is smaller than the old one we need to continually thin things down. I guess I’m now used to not having a basement but we need to redo the attic stairs so I can go up and down more easily and safely to store and retrieve things. The aluminum pull-down stairs are hard to pull down and just scary for me#seniorcitizen, #aginggracefully, #retire2020, #chicagowinters.







So after cooking a bunch this week we now have in the fridge vegetable beef soup, pulled pork, meatballs and cheesecake  I should put some in the freezer today.
cheesecake mix






2:30 It's STILL snowing! I just made chocolate chip cookies and will put a bunch of stuff in the freezer ( the squirrel in me!)


3:27   I did some school work in my little back office. After I retire I can get rid of a lot more stuff. I bought Milo a trombone and a different mouthpiece and a padded strap for his case and a beginner book to start. I’ll also give him a folding music stand to go with it.

I put the chocolate chip cookies and cinnamon rolls I baked today in smaller bags in the freezer. I don’t need them sitting out on the counter tempting me. Mike and I are going to go out and shovel before the sleet starts and it gets dark. We have a lawn maintenance company mow and trim all summer. I just tend my flowers. Lots of residents here in Sun City have snow removal service but we shovel our own. Both of Mike’s shoulders are starting to go bad. I’m sure he’ll get them fixed at some point. We’ll probably have the snow removal service at some point too.





5:19 I know today is an unusually long post for me. Sometimes I get on a roll. Also being stuck inside with the snow gave me ample time to blabber on more than usual.

We went out and shoveled then went to the store and ran a couple errands. It’s misting rain now. There’s probably 2-3 inches of snow on the ground but it’s pretty wet and melting and slides easily. Since I’m so congested I got about a third of the driveway cleared and had to stop for a huge hacking attack before I continued. I had a couple of those before we were finished. Got a lot of gunk out from all the hacking though.
We just got home from errands and the neighbor lady kitty corner across the street from us with the loud vicious dog who always barks it’s fucking head off was out shoveling ( and of course, you could hear her fucking dog barking inside the house) so Mike gave me the bags to bring inside and said he was going to go help her shovel. I would have gone to help too if it weren’t for her having that loud fucking dog barking ALL THE TIME. Uh no....

I’m making a little fettuccine after while. I got a new seed starter kit and some zinnia flower seeds!!! The snow plow just went by. We live on a corner lot. Every time the snowplow goes by they pile our driveway closed! Damn it! I think they do it on purpose.




Friday, February 7

Dragging to Friday

I am so relieved today is Friday. I’m still feeling drug out, tired and congested from the bad flu I had a couple weeks ago. This time of year is always the same- cold, gloomy, overcast and lots of kids and school staff sick and trying to survive until spring. I did order and receive some packets of zinnia and morning glory seeds to plant as soon as spring arrives.  I had bought some hyacinth bulbs that bloomed but were kind of shitty and fell over and died so I threw them out. 

I just put a pork roast in the crockpot with seasoning to cook all day. Later when I get home I’ll shred it apart with two forks and add some Open Pit barbecue sauce . Last weekend at the anniversary party they had lots of food but I really liked the pulled pork sliders so I’m trying to make that.
OPEN PIT


Wednesday afternoon I made meatballs in the oven, mashed potatoes, corn , brocolli and also made some vegetable soup with some of the browned ground beef. Yesterday afternoon I doctored the soup up with more stuff and made dinner rolls to go with it so we had soup and fresh rolls for supper.

I still haven’t spoken to my older daughter. I’ve decided I have enough to take care of and I am not going to put up with her verbal abuse. I am guessing her new fibromyalgia medicine has triggered it but nothing excuses her behavior. You teach people how to treat you. Next weekend I’m going to go see my other daughter and grandsons. I haven’t seen them since before Christmas. 

Sunday, February 2

The new TV

11:48 I’ve been up about four hours. I slept pretty well last night. We finished setting up the new TV and adjusting its placement evenly on the heavy glass stand beside the free living room wall. It’s really nice and the picture quality is way better than our old one that died. It was only four years old but the technology improves so rapidly. Sony TV

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