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Showing posts with label Saturday. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Saturday. Show all posts

Saturday, September 5

Changeable mind

7:28am. I was just too damned tired yesterday and decided to stay home and make my drive today. Besides Mike wanted me to go to Seigles in Elgin and look at kitchen cabinets. I still think we should just clean, sand, prime and paint our existing cabinets. I’m more concerned about new counters, sink and lighting to tell the truth. Everything moves at glacial speed with him and it drives me feckin nuts. 

I’m taking the dog with me when I leave in about an hour.

Saturday, August 29


I know popcorn doesn’t like my gut but I occasionally eat it before bedtime anyway. This morning I feel like I have a big boulder in my gut. I need to stop this madness and quit eating stuff that’s not good for my body. I need to put better fuel in my body. I need to think of food as medicine and not treats. My gut needs more non-starchy vegetables and I need to back off gluten, sugar and carbs. I did a lot of exercise yesterday but ate too much of poor choice foods. I have been blessed to stay alive but I need to do better about eating healthier. I’ve been on a Klondike bar kick for way too long. During the first couple months of pandemic quarantine I was baking and eating breads, biscuits, cookies, brownies, cakes, etc....Neither Mike nor I need that stuff. He’s diabetic and I very much do not want to be diabetic. I need to stop blithering ranting about it and just do it. I also could pretty easily give up eating meat. I’ve had a couple periods in my life where I was a happy vegetarian. There are so many toxins and hormones and GMOs and pesticides in our food supplies. Annettes little dog had to be put down last week and end her suffering from kidney failure and bone loss mostly due to all the extra treats and meat she’d been giving her. Her kidneys failed and the calcium leeched out of her bones and jaw so she couldn’t eat or drink or pee. We are careful what we feed Bitzi. I need to be careful what I eat also. Those are my thought at 6:08 am on a Saturday as I sit one finger typing on my iPad in the front sitting room sipping my vita up coffee listening to Michael saw logs in the bedroom and the wall clock tick. I can see the glow of sunrise coming in the front window honeycomb blinds. 

Mike said he has about an hour of work to do this morning and then before noon we’re going to drive over to St.Charles ( about 30 miles southeast of Huntley where we live) and visit Annette. We’re takingBitzi with us. Annette is watching Bitzi for us next week Monday through Thursday while we’re in Lake Geneva. We’ll take Bitzi back down to her Monday morning. We were going to just put Bitzi in a kennel but Annette offered to watch her and since she just lost her little dog last week we said okay. Bitzi is five months old and is doing good but once in a while if I leave her roaming free in the house too long when she hasn’t been outside to pee she still will find a spot to pee on a rug so we’ve gone back to being more careful. She has a portable pen in the kitchen with her food, water, toys and a little dog bed teepee house. When I bring her inside after she’s gone pee I give her some free time to roam the house and play but I supervise her. Usually after 30 minutes or so I put her back in her pen and I take her outside to pee every hour or two. Maybe it’s me that’s trained! At night she sleeps in a smaller dog crate with a towel over it. She has never whined or whimpered at night. She almost never barks. She doesn’t shed. She’s easy to carry and give a bath. She’s pretty good mostly.

I don’t know if it’s ragweed pollen or what but I’ve been slightly wheeze-y the past week or so. I get this every year around this time. Generally when September gets here is when I come down with some full blown cold, sinus infection, bronchitis- BUT that’s usually after all the instrument testing at all the schools has begun so planning to avoid that this year. Yay! 

Now that it’s light out I’m going to go ride my bike around the lake path!

7:17 back from my ride. It’s much cooler out today. I had to stop and button my lightweight white short sleeved Columbia shirt over my sleeveless scoop neck yoga top so I wasn’t too uncomfortable. This was my first time riding around the lake path. It was very smooth and easy to ride on. There are benches every so often if you want to rest. I passed two old guys walking the path. It’s not a very big lake. 

8:18 I just took Bitzi for her first ride on the bike. I fastened her car seat in the back basket and clipped her leash to the car seat clip. She loved it! We rode around the neighborhood ringing the bike bell. Most everyone is still sleeping. 

Saturday, May 9

Spinning wheel

6:54am I’m drinking my first cup of coffee of the day. Mike is on the couch watching Restaurant impossible. We’re going to go over to St. Charles and see his mother in a while. She’s doing very well and hasn’t had any side effects from her one blast of brain radiation (for the tiny cancer spot) or the immune therapy infusions for her lung cancer. That’s great. Her depression appears to have improved greatly from a few weeks ago.

Sarah, my youngest daughter, said her dad is deeply depressed and asked her to help him fill out a living will and other legal papers yesterday. It seems Sarah is the one helping him and not our other three adult kids. Maybe they are and I just don’t know. I’ve been going to call him but I really don’t know what to say. So much water has passed under that bridge all these years.  It’s hard to talk to Mike about it. It’s an emotional pile of writhing, tangled worms in my head, gut and heart. 

The sun is shining. It’s chilly outside but not too bad. I need to keep busy and occupied. It’s when I’m sitting around thinking that I feel anxiety and dread but that stuff doesn’t help anything. I tried to call back the lady about the Huntley Springs activity director job but got voicemail both times. I must have had the ringer off on my phone in the morning when she called and left the message. After doing some research it appears that that new facility has rental condo and apartments at an all-inclusive package. There appear to be no pools or spas or tennis courts or outside activities like our community Sun City. It appears to be for elderly people who are not as active and unable to do a lot. While not a nursing home it seems more like one than my 55+ community. I’m going to keep an open mind.Being just a mile and a half from my house it would be a convenient new job. 

I found out yesterday that I can pick up my new Shih tzu puppy, Rosie, on Sunday May 24 from the breeder in Galena. That’s about a 97- mile drive from Huntley. I’m excited! My daughter Samantha has an 8 year old Shih Tzu named Bubbles who is the best dog ever. Yesterday Samantha and her girls got two boy Shih Tzu puppies from a breeder in Farmington. They named them Apollo and Frankie. Samantha has tow daughters Lola 13 and Hennessy 6. They’re loving the puppies. Bubbles loves them too. 

9:39. Yesterday I felt like I was starting to get a sore throat, was feeling slightly congested and coughing a little. It seems better today. It’s probably just the changing weather and plants blooming. Mike has been having pain and difficulty walking. He thinks it’s planter fasciitis. It started after we walked the golf course path here in Sun City before they opened for golfers May 1. I don’t think it’s as bad as it was last week but walking funny has then bothered his knees and back. He also has two wonky shoulder sockets that also bother his neck, severe asthma and diabetes. Whoever thought I’d be the “healthy one”  around here? Pretty crazy. 

My sourdough starter I’d been brewing for a week in a mason jar helped make some pretty good jalapeño cheese bread. It made two loaves. We both loved it. There’s still a full loaf left. I have more sourdough goo brewing in a jar on the counter.

My sister Sallie took her old IPad to our oldest sister Vicki who is mentally and physically handicapped and lives in a group home in West Peoria with five other disabled women and two professional caregivers working 8- hours shifts a day that’s part of an organization serving the disabled called Epic. They have many group homes throughout the area and a huge building where the residents are transported every day for activities, education and therapeutic sessions. Since the Covid-19 shelter-in-place order these people have all been stuck in their group homes and not allowed visitors. Anyway Sallie took her old IPad over to Vicki and set it up for Facebook messenger video chatting. A supervisor has to help her every time so you have to call there and schedule it. I called her last night and talked for a while. She seemed sleepy and distracted by the TV in their living room. She kept letting the Ipad slump down so I couldn’t see her. Phone calls with her are nearly impossible because she’ll only say a couple mumbled words.  Besides her issues she’s starting to develop dementia. I went and got her and brought her up to our house for a couple days over Christmas. She’s in a wheelchair full time and has no control over her bathroom functions. It was a lot to deal with. She slipped off the shower bench and slid to the floor. I tried and tried to get her up. After a long time Mike and I finally got her up. She was fine but we both hurt our backs. At her house she has a shower chair and can just roll herself in. Phew! That is so much easier! She looked good and healthy in the video chat last night though thank goodness. 

Yesterday I got a big envelope in the mail with homemade Mother’s Day cards and crafts from the grandkids. I was delighted to get them. I miss them all so much. Video chatting just isn’t the same. 

3:55pm   We went to Mike’s mom’s townhome and took her for a drive and got some food for her and took her home. Then we got some food for us and came home. Mikes in the office working. I went ahead and ate- roasted vegetables, some rice, a few strips of gyro meat and a slice of my jalapeño cheese bread. It’s nicer out today than I thought it would be. I’ve been in kind of a subdued shitty mood the last couple weeks. I try to keep it to myself and combat it on my own. I kind of feel like I’m treading water. I haven’t gone full-out batshit crazy psycho bitch or anything. Yet but I can feel it brewing underneath. 

7:43pm. We just got home. I am so f-ing fed up and at my whits end over his grouchy bitching griping sarcastic pissy curmudgeonly bullshit over everything I say or suggest. Everything, I really am and I need a break. I’m leaving for a couple days next Friday. I’ve just had it. F him. 

Saturday, April 18

Simply irresistible


I’ve been up for about ninety minutes. The sun is shining. I feel good. I’m continuing to have nightly odd dreams. I watched Phantom of the Opera’s 25th anniversary performance on YouTube last night before I fell asleep. The set and costuming were fabulous but the voices will never compare, to me, to Sarah Brightman and Michael Crawford.

Night time sharpens, heightens each sensation
Darkness wakes and stirs imagination
Silently, the senses abandon their defenses
Helpless to resist the notes I write
For I compose the music of the night
Slowly, gently, night unfurls its splendor
Grasp it, sense it, tremulous and tender
Hearing is believing, music is deceiving
Hard as lightening, soft as candlelight
Dare you trust the music of the night?
Close your eyes for your eyes will only tell the truth
And the truth isn't what you want to see
In the dark it is easy to pretend
That the truth is what it ought to be
Softly, deftly, music shall caress you
Hear it, feel it secretly possess you
Open up your mind, let your fantasies unwind
In this darkness which you know you cannot fight
The darkness of the music of the night
Close your eyes
Start a journey to a strange new world
Leave all thoughts of the world you knew before
Close your eyes and let music set you free
Only then can you belong to me
Floating, falling, sweet intoxication
Touch me, trust me, savor each sensation
Let the dream begin, let your darker side give in
To the power of the music that I write
The power of the music of the night
You alone can make my song take flight
Help me make the music of the night


Mike is in the office working again. He spends more time working now ( with no sports going on and a 15% pay cut) than he did before. His Aunt Lu called earlier and said his Aunt Dot ( who had Alzheimer’s and was in a nursing home had died. She was crying and upset and hesitant to call and tell Mike’s mom ( her sister). Mike video called his mom and told her and she seemed okay with the news. The family has been expecting it. I think we’re going to go over and see his mother later. I’ve been outside some today but it’s nasty windy ( not just regular windy) so I’ve only been out puttering in the yard a bit. The yard is pretty soft and muddy from all the melted snow. I tracked mud globs in earlier by accident. 

Saturday, February 29

Blackberry pancakes

10:24 It’s Saturday and I’ve been up for a couple hours. We went out a did some errands and I made blackberry pancakes when we got back. I just ate one with my coffee. Pretty darned tasty. Mike just left to go to the Chicago golf show with his son Casey, son-in-law Justin and nephew Matthew. He’ll be gone several hours. I’m going to go get my car washed and then go hang out at the lodge pool #justkeepswimming, #watertherapy, #wellness. I am trying for calmer, happier, healthier.

This Tuesday Mike goes to the doctor for his shoulders and neck issues and Thursday he’s taking his mom for her PET scan and brain MRI. That will be a big ordeal to get done.

Saturday, February 15

Saturday in the park

The sky is very gray and overcast with  no hint of the sun. Looking out the front window snow covers most of the view. I’m moving slowly this morning. My head feels full and stuffy. Mike is watching The Dog Whisperer in the living room alone and laughing out loud to himself. We haven’t had a pet for five years since Scooter died of lung cancer. We took him to the vet and held him and petted him while the IV drug ended his life. I tear up even now thinking about. Since then my fucking brain cancer came back so I had to have a bunch of chemo and then the Godawful stem cell transplant. My immune system has been rebuilding the last couple years so we’ve been pet free in our home. We might get a puppy this summer. I’d like a cat but Mike is deathly allergic to cats.

I’m going to wrap up the rest of the cake I made yesterday and get it the hell out of here. Neither one of us needs more cake.

Saturday, February 1

You always hurt the one you love

So now we’re going out to buy a new big TV. The old one stopped working two weeks ago. This has been a giant pain in the ass the last two weeks.

We ended up buying a 65” Sony 4K at Costco.

We’re supposed to go to Brian & Michelle’s 30th anniversary party tonight. I’m not feeling well and didn’t sleep last night. I still have this tickle cough in my bronchial tubes. I just used my nebulizer. 

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