Winding down

I know humans catch colds and viruses. I know some of us are more prone to catch stuff. I know that this too shall pass. I’m just feeling very aggravated with this recent stuff I’ve picked up. Fortunately it’s only some runny nose and annoying tickle-y cough but I’ve tried SO hard to not catch anything. Suck it up buttercup. Pull up your big girl pants and get over it. It could be worse. Yuckkkkkk.

In a little while I have to wake up the 3 boys and get their stuff packed up and loaded and drive them to Lacon to meet my daughter. Arlo (5) has been pretty exhausting. He’s a super picky eater and sometimes he can be a rude whine-y little tyrant. Mike and I have both had to take him aside and talk to him. He’s got 2 rowdy older brothers and a baby sister to compete with. I get it but he still can’t be a rude tyrant. Sometimes he can be super sweet. He’s absolutely adorable so that helps save him. Anyway after four days grandma and grandpa are ready for a rest. We had 8 year old Hennessy here for a week before the boys too. Happy new year. I hope my cough stops soon. I’ll be wearing my mask today when I go out. 

Thursday 29

Everyone is tired and sleepy today. Arlo(5) is up but doesn’t want to eat anything I offer him ( as usual) and I’m not letting him eat Cheetos for breakfast. Mike, Oscar & Milo are sleeping. They stayed up late. I fell asleep early last night and was knocked out and oblivious to everybody being up late. During the night I started having a lot of nasal draining and coughing and I had it when I woke up at 6. I called in and canceled my rehab session because I was coughing so much. Now I don’t go back until Tuesday. I’m halfway through, yesterday being my eighteenth session. 

I am careful who I trust. That may make me a bitch and that’s okay. In the past I’ve been used, betrayed and taken advantage of and I have my guard up against most people. It’s sad but I’m overly sensitive and I have to protect my feelings and my heart. I have a lot of casual, social friends but only a couple true heart friends. 

122822

Is 4:22. I’ve been awake since about 3 and couldn’t get back to sleep. For some reason I’m ache-y all over. Yesterday I left home early with Hennessy and drove her down to Norris, picked up Argo, Oscar and Milo and drove back home. As soon as we got here we got our stuff and headed to the pool for 45 minutes until the end of family swim time. I sent the boys to bed around 10 and I went to bed after 11:30. I don’t know what the deal is with me waking up at 3am out of the blue. I haven’t been to cardiac rehab since last Thursday due to the Christmas closing. I couldn’t go yesterday because I was driving. I’ll go today and tomorrow from 8-9 and then Friday I’m driving again. Mike was very helpful with the boys yesterday once I got home. This afternoon I’m taking the boys to this cool retro arcade in West Dundee that has all these old video games from the 1980s plus skeeball, air hockey and pinball. You get unlimited play on all games for hours for one set price. I took them once last summer and they loved it. 

I’m having a cup of coffee. It doesn’t taste that good somehow. 

I’m trying to decide on my goals for the new year. The list has to be short, important and achievable. 

Monday 12-26

I got some awful stomach issue last night and was throwing up the worst kind of bitter stuff. I threw up about ten different times until my stomach was empty and then the other stuff started. I don’t know if I caught something or ate something bad. I was up most of the night and finally slep a little. My 6am alarm woke me up and I’ve been awake since then reading. 

I ate some toast, took a shower, got dressed, straightened up the house, took my morning pills and fed the dog. I’m feeling better. I have errands to do and am waiting for Hennessy to wake up. 

Sat.122422

Here I am pecking away with one finger on my iPad keyboard early in the morning. I’m the only one up and I’m sitting on the couch with my blanket and dog with my cup of coffee with a splash of vanilla almond milk in it. I stayed up too late with Mike watching The West Wing with him. He’s never watched it before. I’ve watched it but have fallen asleep and missed many parts. I fell asleep again last night with my head on Mike’s lap. Some time after midnight I staggered in to bed but then couldn’t go back to sleep for what seemed like a long time. Once I did fall asleep I woke up a few more times and just stayed up around 5:45.

It’s beastly cold outside and last night the fierce wind sounded like an ice age was upon us. It’s pretty quiet out there now. Hennessy watched TV until around ten then Mike told her to go to bed. I was pretty sleepy and out of it by then. Mike always takes the dog out to pee at night. Bitzi only weighs about 7 1/2 pounds and doesn’t like to go out in bad weather.

Yesterday Hennessy and I made some cookies and packaged them up to take to a couple neighbor ladies who have brought us banana bread. Due to my cardiac rehab program and trying to lose weight and get healthier I hadn’t made holiday sweets like usual so we just made a small batch of cookies and packaged them up. Hennessy had two but at least I didn’t pig out on them. I also haven’t sent out any Christmas cards. I have a whole stack of ones we’ve received and I meant to send them one back. It’s too late now. I’ll send a note to a couple people.

I’ve just withdrawn from a lot of people and things. I’m trying to direct my energy on what really matters. Social media has become one big “la-Dee-da look at me “ boastfest or marketing scam. I’m getting pretty grouchy in my old age. I want truth, sincerity and purity. 

The Chicago Bears play the Buffalo Bills at Soldier Field in Chicago at noon today. Although I initially had high hopes for the Bears the past several weeks have been disappointing despite quarter back Justin Fields’ displays of excellence. I’ll watch the game today mostly due to the ridiculously cold conditions. 

Yesterday I took Hennessy to our Sun City lodge to look at all the Christmas decorations. It is done very nicely and we got some walking in. 

I guess I sounded pretty negative before but I actually am very grateful for my blessings. We have have 6 healthy adult children, twelve healthy grandchildren, healthy siblings. Mike’s  mom is eighty-four and doing okay despite her cancer treatment. We have all we need. I am so blessed for all I have and I’m absolutely sure I have an angel on my shoulder. She has saved my ass many times!

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

12:18

Hennessy and I took Bitzi and delivered the gift bags with cookies we made to two neighbor ladies. I made a pot of chicken vegetable soup and it’s simmering on the stove. The Bears game is on. Mike is explaining football to Hennessy. I started watching Grumpy Old Men on my IPad with my headphones on. We’re going to the store after the game. 

Tomorrow we’re going to my step sons house in Glen Ellen. Tuesday I’ll take Hennessy home to Norris and bring 3 of my grandsons home for a few days. 

¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥

6pm

Henna is in the whirlpool tub. I just mixed up a batch of hash brown casserole and put it in the crockpot for morning. We went to a couple stores then came home and took the dog out several times trying to get her to do her business it’s no luck. She doesn’t like the cold weather. It’s a problem. 

Thursday 12/22

Somehow I just deleted everything I had typed. I am so rusty typing, especially on this small new iPad keyboard. It’s early morning and no one else is awake. Hennessy came home with me yesterday and she’s still sleeping in the spare bedroom and Mike is sleeping. in our bedroom. It’s cold and the house is chilly. We’re supposed to get a snowstorm with blizzard conditions and dropping temperatures starting later this morning. I have to go to cardiac rehab at 9:1  and then I have four days off and need to find a way to exercise.

Christmas is in three days and I need to decide what I’m cooking so I can shop for the stuff but  so far I haven’t. I’d better hurry up or it will be much harder. I guests I should go today.

I have no clue why there is this gray dot floating around on my screen—no it’s not a floater in my field of vision, it’s an actual gray dot. I must have accidentally hit some key to put on some feature of the keyboard I don’t know about.  Speaking about that, Tuesday was the first day of me taking my new Honda Passport for a long drive by myself . We bought it in November and I’ve driven it around the neighborhood quite a bit but whenMike and I go out he usually insists on driving so until Tuesday I hadn’t’t put gas in it or knew a bunch of the buttons and controls. It has lots of new bells and whistles on it so that was interesting. It drives like a dream on the interstate. It feels so solid and stable and smooth- much better than my other cars. I’m happy with it. Yeah, for my birthday we got the new car and new iPad. 

I’ve been trying to  cut down on exposure to crowds lately with all the colds, flus, Covid, RSV going around. I’ve been on several new prescription meds since the heart attack in  OSeptember and I don’t want to get sick and take more meds and get my health knocked down even more. 

Shortly I have to get dressed and try to wake up Henna and get her some breakfast. I need to leave here around 9 to drive the 2 miles to the hospital rehab building. I always feel better after .I go . I should have been exercising like this long ago. Things always come up and get in the way. It’s all about priorities.  Exercise has to come first.  

I still don’t know what the floating gray dot it. I don’t remember seeing it when I tested the keyboard before. Now the bold control keeps coming on randomly. I have got to get used to this keyboard!  Okay, face it-I’m old and out of the loop.

 I’m not up on all the rapidly changing devices and technology……Sheesh….

Saturday

It’s morning on Saturday. Today is the third and last concert I’m in for the season. It’s all gloomy and overcast outside. I’m taking my time before I go get showered and get going. I think I’ll take the dog for a long walk to get exercise in. I’m still doing cardiac rehab. Gotta do it.  

Gloomy day

Tuesday 12/6

We just got home fromLake Geneva. We stayed at the resort 2 nights. I have beeen sick off and on for weeks with a low fever, chest and sinus congestion. I can’t seem to shake I and I feel like hell.

I have to go practice my clarinet in a few minutes. In a couple hours we have a dress rehearsal for Thursday and Saturday’s concerts. I didn’t go to rehearsal last week because I was sick and the week before was Thanksgiving, so I feel somewhat unprepared.  I wish I could just go sleep the rest of the day…….

Typing

I am trying to get used to typing on my new IPad’s new keyboard case. I gave my old one that still worked to my daughter. I’m sure that sure or the kids will find it useful enough. My hands feel awkward and unused to typing, especially on a smaller keyboard. I’m sure it will get better with practice and repetition. Right now it feel janky and my left inner wrist hurts. Oh well. Such is life.

I don’t have cardiac rehab today. I took the dog for a brisk walk around the lodge and lagoon. I’m going to the gym to use the resistance machines in a little while then go to the store and then come home and practice my choral music for rehearsal tonight. For the most part I’m enjoying the experience of singing in a choir again. Some things I don’t like. There are some bossy cranky nitpicks old ladies who think they can boss people around. Also there are some aging ladies with dreadful mile-wide forced vibrato that gags me. Also the director is about 80 and never warms the group up nor every touches on anything close to vocal pedagogy or sound production……. SO there are some things that bug me. I have never gone to the separate Monday night alto section practices. #1 I’m not supposed to drive at night, #2 I don’t need a bunch of old biddies trying to nitpick me to death about things I don’t agree with and #3 I don’t like enclosed spaces anyway. Going to full chorus rehearsal one evening a week is enough for me. And yes, I do sometimes even go over the music and practice at home. My biggest problem is my low vision and reading the actual music but I will admit I’m amazed that I’m able to as well as I am. 

Sunday night we went overt to Casey and Jacki’s house and watched Aiden and the baby for them for 6 hours. The baby is 4 months old now and very sweet. She doesn’t like to stay asleep though once you put her down. We tried twice and 30 minutes afterward she was screaming bloody murder so I just held her until they got home. Then she was out like a light they successfully put her in bed and she slept the I rest of the night. Aiden is going on 2 and very busy. 

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

Later-

I went to our lodge here in Sun City and used several of the resistance machines. The cardio machines were all busy so I just came home. I already had my walk. I haven’t used the weight machines for a week so I know I’ll be sore tomorrow. Mike and I are running out to do errands. I’m loving my new car. It’s super cool. It’s a Honda passport built on a truck frame. It has loads of cargo space I the back and many safety features and sits up higher. I loved my Sorrento but I really love this one. I am so freakin blessed.

Black Friday

Good morning. I’m sitting on the couch in the living room. I ate a little of my oatmeal- chia seeds- hemp hearts-peanut butter- mixed berries concoction. It exploded in the microwave while warming it up for the second day in a row. I usually make a big batch of it in a saucepan on the stove then store it in a container in the fridge so I can just scoop some out and warm it up quickly. I feed on it for days. Mike won’t come near it so it’s all mine. Yesterday ,being , Thanksgiving , I didn’t have to go to cardiac rehab so I walked a couple times. Mike and I stayed home and just made some nice pasta and a salad. That was fine. I did a lot of reflection and gave thanks for my blessings all day.

 Tomorrow we’re going to my sister’s for a big Thanksgiving get together. I have to make stuff today to bring tomorrow. I have to work out today. I have chorus and band rehearsals next week, I’m hosting ladies’ BUNCO night Thursday, Friday is the chorus dress rehearsal and Saturday is the concert. The next week is even busier. I don’t have any of the Christmas decorations down out of the garage ceiling shelf. There’s a lot to do and Mike helps very little. It’s like pushing a huge boulder up a steep hill. There are still 2 IKEA lamps sitting in boxes on the chair in the front room. He’s been going to put them together for weeks and there they sit but he’s dealing with bigger issues.  His mother continues to worsen with her health ( lung/ brain cancer),  memory and depression. She is dragging her feet more and more about treatment and wanting to isolate and talking about dying. Mike tries his best to communicate with her doctor and nurse and make sure she’s at her appointments. He and his siblings communicate and coordinate with their mothers needs and care but Mike does the most.

I’m considering auditioning for our community’s spring musical. I have never been on stage in a play or musical- only in the orchestra pit. I’m still waffling. I’m scared and my low vision, chronic respiratory congestion and weakened immune system are holding me back. Auditions are in January. A friend of mine from chorus was just in a production of “ Anything Goes” which inspired me to think about trying it. This whole heart attack / artery blockage thing has changed my outlook. I’m cutting out all the bullshit stuff and people and directing my energy to what brings me joy and lifts me up. I’m swimming toward the sunshine and happiness. 

I’m sick of the commercialism of everyday life. Now it’s way worse with the holidays! I feel like I’m constantly bombarded by ads and offers and schemes in my unending emails, calls and social media feeds. I have all that I need and I’m sick of companies trying to worm their way into my pockets! I’m holding up my minimalist shield to keep them back! 

I have to finish drinking my coffee then go get dressed and take Bitzi out for her morning walk. Then I’ll probably go to the lodge and use the weight machines and do my pool workout. I need to practice my band and chorus music for the upcoming concerts then get the Christmas stuff out and sorted. 

I got a new iPad on sale at Costco! It’s awesome and I just got it set up and just ordered a keyboard case. I’m giving Sarah my old one which is still in good working order but over five years old. I made some cookies to take tomorrow and am going to the gym and pool. 

My friend Marilyn has stage 4 liposarcoma. The chemo didn’t work. She was supposed to have surgery to try to buy her time but now she has the RSV virus and has the surgery postponed weeks. She has made all her funeral arrangements. 

Sunday

Today was okay. It was about a 7 on a 1-10 scale. We went to the musical Anything Goes this afternoon put on by our Sun City theater company. Some parts of it were good but it was mostly too long, very corny and lots of questionable pitches in much of the singing. I took Bitzi for a couple walks, used the weight machines, walked on the treadmill with a slight incline and exercised in the pool. Tomorrow morning at 8am is my second session of cardiac rehab. The intensity is growing to increase each week. I’m ready. Bring it on. I got a Bluetooth headband to wear during exercising. Pretty cool. Tomorrow we’re going over to Casey & Jackie’s in Glen Ellyn.