Beginning a long journey

 So it’s Friday.This is my second day of 18:6 Intermittent fasting. I can’t eat anything until noon. I have not eaten since 6 last night. It just takes a few days for your system to adjust to it. I took Bitzi for a 2-mile walk earlier which is a lot for us these days since winter came. The air was fresh and I felt good. February only has 22 more days I told myself as I was walking. The last couple years I’ve been eating too much, not exercising enough and have let myself gain a bunch of weight. I have an under active metabolism and weak immune system. With this horrible war my adult kids have been in the last couple years since their dad died and left the messed up I feel like I have been stuck in the middle of the shitstorm and have had a lot of heartache and stress and worry over it all. And I’ve been neglecting my health and “comfort’ eating way too much and now I am stuck and have to fix it. I considered trying GLP-1 drugs but because of all my various health issues I was afraid. The drugs have lots of unpleasant side effects and you still have to watch your diet and exercise more so I’m determined to give it a really hard try to lose it on my own. It’s going to take many months, just like it did to pack it all on. Steady and consistent does it. SO today I created a google spreadsheet to track all my efforts and progress. I am trying to set myself up for success. The reward at the end will be better health, better clothes and perhaps I’ll reward myself with a cruise but NOT UNTIL I REACH MY GOAL. 

My brother-in-law Pete goes in Monday to have his kidney transplant. He’s been waiting years for it. I will be praying a lot.

Yesterday Mike and I drove over to the newly-open H-Mart in Schaumburg. It was their grand opening and it was pretty busy. I was the one who wanted to go and I should have known better because Mike had started complaining and bitching on the drive over there. So we parked and decided to go in and have a look. The place was HUGE and filled with all sorts of stuff-housewares, groceries, a huge deli and a food court. It was pretty busy and most of the groceries are Korean and so in a foreign language for us. Not everything was Korean but most of the stuff. I just thought it was cook and interesting but Mike started bitching and griping and cussing in his big boomy voice. If I could hear so could the other people. I just eventually got so mad and pissed off I told him we were leaving so I walked out and didn’t talk to him for a couple hours. What an asshole. I told myself from now on I should just go places ALONE and not put up with his grouchy rude bullshit. Unless it has to do with HIS family or something he wants to do he grumbles and pisses and moans. Life is too short to live like that. I’m happier going places alone. I’ve been going on the community bus trips alone the last couple months and really enjoyed them. I do NOT want to get old and pissy and curmudgeony like that. YU CK

AND NPW I’m going to go crochet for a bit and count my blessings. 

Hookin’

 Bitzi is on my lap in the sunroom. I hurt my back yesterday yanking Vicki’s heavy wheelchair in and out of my car. That long drive takes more out of me the older I get, so today I’m crocheting and resting up a bit. ( Hookin’ - crochet hook that is.)

I kind of feel like crying a bit but I really don’t want to get in to it why. Sometimes things are just because. 

Cozy comfort

 Good morning. I’m drinking my coffee.

Later- I took Bitzi out for a little walk so she could do her morning pee. I put a cotton T-shirt on her and then her orange insulated harness jacket. She will NOT wear any kind of boots or paw wraps at all and just stands stiff like a statue if I put them on her. I had my hoodie, undershirt, leggings, wood socks, ankle boots and zip up heavy coat with another hood on and two pair of stretchy gloves. It was snowing lightly but the snowflakes had ice in them. My eyebrows got so cold they hurt. We weren’t out there too long. She sniffed around and peed a couple times but kept holding her front right paw up like it was going to fall off. 

I’m going to crochet some today, fill the car up with gas for my long drive tomorrow, go to the lodge and work out and gather my stuff to take tomorrow. I have to load two chairs in the back of my SUV to take to Sarah. 

Thursday

It’s a beautiful bright sunny winter day. It’s still really cold out there but the bright sunshine definitely helps my mental outlook. I slept pretty well last night and got up a little after 7. I had my coffee and a toasted peanut butter jelly and banana sandwich and took the dog out for a walk up by the main lodge. We were out there about 20 minutes or so. I’ve been reading and doing crossword puzzles this morning. I opened a bedroom window and a sunroom sliding door and aired the house out a bit. It’s good to get some fresh air circulating in the house.  I’m leaning toward going to the lodge shortly to use the fitness equipment, pool and sauna.

Yesterday I went on a bus trip to the Chicago Art Institute.

It was really splendid and I got 3.5 miles in walking around enjoying myself.

I still haven’t heard a peep from my oldest daughter in many months. She is going “no contact” with the family again. She has done this many times to us over the years. Like she is somehow better and superior…….whatever. I feel sorry for her mental state but I am helpless. I’ve reached out countless times and this has been going on (off and on) for years and years. She pops back up whenever she needs something. Whatever. Everybody has their stuff. Some people just have more stuff than others,

I’m waiting on a school district to call me back to resolve a matter. Last August I received a deposit for $420 from the local school district. I have not substituted for them in over 2 entire school years. When I called them they were unaware of the mistake and thanked me and asked that I write them a check to refund the automatic transfer saying they were unable to withdraw it from my account. So I sent them a check and didn’t think another thing about it until last week when I got a W-2 form in the mail for that payment. WTF? So this morning I called two separate numbers for their school district and left messages. So far no one has called back. 

Someone obviously has screwed up. I get really impatient with bullshit like this. I probably had too much coffee this morning…..

Since I’m waiting for the call back I’ll just keep typing and blithering on (lucky you,eh?)

I have started mentally planning for spring and summer. I have ordered some flower seeds for spring planting and have been looking for travel possibilities, looking up locations and accomodations. I always need to have a carrot at the end of the stick to look forward to, especially during February which seems to be the worst time of the year for me. 

Right now I’m leaning toward driving down to see my family this weekend, maybe leaving tomorrow or Saturday. I’ve postponed it a couple times due to my health and the weather. My granddaughter’s birthday present is late (although I sent a couple other things via Amazon when I couldn’t drive down there). I need to see my sisters too. It’s important to me that I show up. My vision isn’t the best so my trips have been getting fewer and far between. You do what you can do and that’s all you can do.

#justkeepswimming

Every day I count my blessings. Every. Single. Day.

I’m getting used to this new iPad keyboard. I also got wrist cushioned riser thingy to put the IPad on toe bring it up a little higher on the kitchen table when I’m typing so that helps. I actually like typing and really haven’t done much at all in years. It’s time to get back in the saddle. I also decided the other day that I’m going to get out my clarinet, flute and baritone once spring hits and start playing again. I haven’t played at all in over a year since we moved last year in January and moved all our crap over here in the dead of winter and then sold our other house and then had a bunch of stuff done to this house and finding places for everything. But I need to start playing again. That’s part of my DNA. I gave my electric piano to my granddaughter Hennessy who I never hear from anymore because her mother is no contacting me…….whatever……I’ve been sending Hennessy things and writing her letters. Evidently her mother is keeping them from her or has brainwashed her so badly she can’t respond. It’s such a sin to have her doing this. I’ve had so much tremendous heartache over this but I just have to resign myself  that you do all you can do. 

Okay I’m tired of waiting around for the school district to call me back regarding their screw up. I’m gathering my stuff and going to the lodge. Working out will help my anxieties over thinking about the “no contact” bullshit situation. Onward and upward!

3:43. Okay so Mike and I went to the lodge a while ago. I went to the fitness center and worked out a bit and used some machines until I started getting bad muscle cramps so then I went to the locker room and then into the pool area and found Mike in the huge hot tub so I joined him for a while. Then we went to the sauna cabinet and then I got in the pool to refresh then we both went to separate locker rooms to shower and change and come home. I’m sore but it felt good to go. I should be going every day. 

I’m going to end this and go sit in the sunroom and crochet a bit until the light gets too dim for me. I’ve been working with a cool green yarn but just got three more skeins of bright multicolored yarn to add to my blanket. 

Chilly toes

 This morning again it’s chilly in the house. Mike has gotten up, turned on the living room TV and fallen back asleep sitting on the couch snoring. I am laying on the couch with my legs draped across his lap with a Chicago Bears blanket across me. The furnace just kicked in. Later this morning I’m going on a Sun City bus trip to th Chicago Art Institute. I haven’t been there in many years and am looking forward to an interesting day. 

Taco Tuesday

 It’s mid morning on Tuesday. The sun is shining bright and making the frigid snowy ground look a bit more happy and welcoming today. Bitzi was actually trotting along on our little walk earlier. To me that seems like progress and looking toward spring. Typically Bitzi does not like cold or wet and it can be such a struggle to get that little dog to do her potty chores outside every day. She doesn’t like the extreme heat of summer either. She’s a diva.

I’m still have some junky congestion in my bronchial passages and that’s an aggravation and bothers my sleep. I have one prednisone tablet left and a couple antibiotics from my prescription. I guess I’ve got to give it time to kick in. I REALLY want to go somewhere warmer at this time next winter for 6-8 weeks. We’ve never done the snowbird thing before. My health and lungs sure want to try it. Tiny fluffy diva Bitzi wants to try it.

I have laundry going. I can hear the machine chugging away in the laundry room. 

I feel so depressed and doomed by what is happening to our country. When will it end? Will he EVER go away????

Bitter cold

 6:20 pm

It was a crazy cold day today. I’ve been outside briefly twice with the dog. Otherwise I crocheted, read, listen to an Audible book and cooked a little. Bitzi does not like going out in bad weather. She is a princess.