Just keep swimming

It’s 6:42am Monday. I have two more weeks of my sub job. It was a bad decision to do this but I’m fulfilling my agreement. I’m teaching from home today but going in to the school Tuesday through Friday. This Thursday and Friday the students will be asynchronous while we teachers have training on how to teach in person while simultaneously teaching online the kids whose parents chose to keep them home.   Next week Monday through Thursday I’ll be teaching kids in person while also teaching kids online and going between ten classrooms in order to keep the kids inside all their classrooms. There is no time gap between scheduled classes so no clue how the fuck that will work..... On Friday they will be at home and asynchronous. I am NOT looking forward to going from classroom to classroom teaching in person and online at the same time. It sounds completely nuts to me. That’s only four days of it. I keep reminding myself. I’ve felt unwell the last few days but my symptoms have been mild and

 It’s 5:22 and I’ve been awake way over an hour. I just woke up and couldn’t go back to sleep. I guess I have a lot of family issues on my mind. I try to tell myself that things will work out but that little troll inside my brain wants to worry about everyone. I can’t really even talk about it. Things will have to work out on their own. I have to give it to the universe and let it be. I am not the fixer of all things.  The man fixing and painting our kitchen cabinets is coming to start this morning so I have to get things ready to facilitate his work and stay out of his way. Hennessy ( six) is here so we’ll go for a walk and shopping or something to stay out of the way.

I’ve been up for over an hour. It’s 6:46 now. In a few minutes I have to take Bitzi out for a walk so I can get ready to sign on the Zoom and start teaching. I have fourth graders this morning and ( I think) first graders after the brief break- fast and furious. I don’t like the limited hours of daylight in the winter but it is what it is.in another week the days will start getting a little longer so there’s that hope. The electors cast their votes today. I hope and pray it goes smoothly and there’s no bullshit or violence. There’s no telling what shit the predator in chief and his cult of lunatics will try to pull off. Yesterday I got all my Christmas cards made out and mailed. I got my mugs decorated and now the have to sit for a few days to allow the ink to soak in before I bake them to further seal the designs. They’re cute- just a little homemade something. I’m trying not to make sweets because I know I’ll eat them.

7:29am Sunday morning I just turned the heat up. My fingers are cold. Mike is comatose on the couch with the TV news chattering away. I’m drinking my coffee ( black with MCT oil) and getting geared up to go walk. I think Bitzi is still sleeping in her fabric igloo in her little kitchen pen. I fed and watered her but she didn’t come out of her igloo. We walked three miles yesterday- quite a lot for her tiny puppy legs. I’m wanting another shihtzu male puppy but haven’t told Mike yet. He grouches over everything. We have room for another one.  We’re going over to see Annette ( Mike’s mom) in St.Charles later this morning around ten when she’s done watching her mass service on TV. I’m leaving my mask on while we’re in her house because who knows which relatives she’s been around and I could have it and not know. I’m taking no chances.  I just ordered some gifts through Amazon to be delivered to my sister Vicki ( who is mentally and physically handicapped and 70 and lives in a group handic

12:18 pm Sunday The day is mild and overcast.I did a little housework and took the dog on two walks and had lunch. I’m not fasting today but I’m still restricting carbs. I’ll admit I am feeling kind of glum today just about a whole lot of things. The overcast sky doesn’t help but the walks and fresh air do help. We went out and ran a couple errands and then just came home and continued watching season 3 of The Crown. I was cuddled up on the couch under a soft blanket with my head on my neck pillow on Mike’s lap. It was cozy. I eventually fell asleep and so did he. Mike’s mom was sick at her stomach yesterday and said she felt like she was getting the flu. I hope she hasn’t picked up anything.  Monday 7:33 am  Yesterday I wrote letters and made out Thanksgiving cards to send to the grandkids. I had two gallon- size ziplock bags full on misc. cards that I sorted through. I got rid of a bunch that didn’t have envelopes. I put them in 4 different labeled ziplock bags so it will be easier t

7:44am I have to take Bitzi over to the vet in a few minutes to get her leptospirosis vaccine. I have some stuff to get done around here later. Our house is all piled up with stuff out of the rooms and closets we’re having painted and worked on. The remodeling hell has officially begun. It will be worth it in the long run.  1:06pm I have brownies baking and I’m sitting at the kitchen table with my iPad and keyboard directly across from my husband doing work on his MacBook Pro. The workmen are hear painting the office, laundry room and closet, spare bedroom and closet. They’ve painted all the ceilings first. There are drop cloths  and paint cans and supplies all over. Combine that with our junk piled around (from the rooms being worked on) and it makes for a very hectic environment.  It’s chilly and very windy outside. I’ve been for two walks with Bitzi. I’m feeling very good lately aside from the bug bites I got last week and my occasional left knee pain. I think I aggravated my knee b

The sun is splaying golden laser beams through the East sitting room windows. I’m weird and sometimes take nature  things ( clouds, beams of light, flowers, birds, animals) I see as possible signs to direct me. The light rays are speaking to me this morning but their message isn’t clearly understood, maybe they’re saying something like straighten the hell up, quit being so indecisive and DO something. I still have this feeling of being in limbo waiting for something not yet revealed,  I’m going down to Lewistown this week Wednesday through Sunday to visit my family. I’m looking forward to going and spending time with my tribe. I like driving and seeing the fall scenery. I’m going to the orchard, a winery, the Amish bakery over by Cuba.  Yesterday I applied to sub at a couple more nearby school districts and applied for a long term maternity leave sub job for a middle school band director in my old district. We’ll see if that happens. I’m not even sure I should be going out places with

10:01am Wednesday This is our third day staying here at the resort in a timeshare condo in Lake Geneva. Mike is in the shower. We're going over to Burlington in a little while, then I'm going shopping in downtown Lake Geneva. After that we're going to the spa and then to the fish boil and home in the morning. Mike is going to go pick up the dog from his mom's and I have a noon interview tomorrow for a dental office job a mile from our house. Mikes mom Annette's sisters husband just died of Covid-19 last night. Annette played bingo with her sisters Sunday night. We were around Annette Monday morning. That's some scary shit to think about! I'm going down to Lewistown Friday

Saturday is usually a good day. You’ve finished the work week, you can sleep in, you don’t have to pack your lunch, you can stay in your pajamas and you can do what you want. I slept until 7:15 this morning which is late for me. I slept really well through the night. As of yesterday I’m feeling more congested in my lungs even though I’ve been taking the antibiotics since Wednesday. Nothing seems to help. Poached eggs for breakfast  egg poacher pan Yesterday I arranged for one of our friends to give his drum set to one of my students who has been wanting one for a long time. Mike and I are going to get pick it up in the morning and then deliver it to the boy. The mom said her boy is super excited to get it. I’m happy it will work out. I have some computer school work to do today that will take an hour or so. I ought to get that done before I get sidetracked to other things. Later this evening I’m going to take a nice long bath and scrape my feet and exfoliate my skin and give myself a f

Today I’m feeling better than the last two. I did sleep pretty well and wasn’t up coughing my guts out. I’ve started flushing my sinuses with saline every few hours and that’s helping. I’m so so tired of the congestion and wheezing and being out of breath. It’s hard for me to do my job. It’s hard to do just about anything.  Yesterday we had an argument. I’ve just been pretty fed up for a while. We’ve kind of made up now but we, of course, haven’t talked or resolved anything. In my experience men can never apologize or admit guilt or accept any responsibility for relationship problems. It’s just the nature of the beast. I guess I’m just now finally realizing it and it’s bitter to me. Yes he has done a lot for me but that doesn’t earn him the right to treat me like chopped liver or be an asshole. No sir-e. Anyway so I’m not feeling as congested but feeling glum. I did finally repot my money plant tree so at least that was good. I’m making soup in the crock pot. I took some stuff out to t