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Showing posts with label # pandemic. Show all posts
Showing posts with label # pandemic. Show all posts

Tuesday, February 16

Snow and more snow

We got another 4-6” of snow last night on top of the piles that were already out there. In our small yard some of the drifts are more than 18” high. I went out with Mike and helped clear the driveway and walks. Thankfully I have my super warm long quilted coat and tall fur-lined boots for times like this. It’s actually not as wickedly cold out today as it has been recently so at least that’s good. I don’t think I’m going out anywhere today. After Mike gets done with work tonight we’ll drive the one mile to Beef Shack for their $1.00 hot dogs Tuesday special. They’re pretty good fully-loaded Chicago style dogs. 























Saturday, February 6

Armadillo

It’s Saturday afternoon. It’s overcast and treacherously icy outside. I’ve been outside four times today with Bitzi and slipped every time. Thank goodness I didn’t fall clear down and bash anything. It makes me not want to go out. But with a dog you have to. 

I made a vanilla Bundt cake to take over to Casey & Jackie’s tomorrow. We’re going to meet and watch the new baby for a bit to give them a break. We entered a Sun City contest for the Super Bowl winner and the point total. I picked Tampa Bay. 

I feel like an armadillo rolled up into my shell today. I’ve got stretchy yoga pants, a big Green Lake Wisconsin hoodie, alpaca socks and my fuzzy slippers on-super cozy and warm. 


It’s snowing again! Gaaah

I did get an appointment to get my first Moderna Covid vaccine this Tuesday morning in Elgin through my school district so I’m relieved by that. Onward and upward!

Sunday, January 17

Suck it up Buttercup

It’s Sunday and it snowed a bit. I’ve been out for a couple walks in the slush. I’m not feeling as angst filled today but I haven’t heard from my kids. I have a slight sinus headache and took two Advil cold and sinus tablets. I haven’t taken any of those for months. I flushed my sinuses and rubbed some Vics vaporub up in my nostrils. Hey, whatever it takes. I’ve been re-watching The Office on the Peacock app. Pretty good stuff. 

Friday, January 15

Breathe deep, blow it out.......

6:40am Friday

I’ve been up for a while and am now drinking my coffee with MCT oil. Mike just got up and is sitting on the couch in the living room with the morning news on. I’m wrapped up in a blanket typing with one finger on my iPad. 

I've been cheating on my diet plan the past few weeks but am back on track and starting to lose again. Amazingly I didn’t gain any back despite the slip ups. I’m not trying to be all or nothing just trying to move more, eat low carb and healthy fresh vegetables. I tend to cheat and eat “ comfort foods” when I’m stressed or feeling ill. At least I’m aware now.......

 I’ve been taking Bitzi on several walks a day and getting around 2 miles in most days which is more than I had been doing. Walking helps with anxiety too.

I took a nice hot bath last night in my jetted tub with my new eucalyptus- scented Epsom salts bath mixture. It was wonderful and relaxing. 

Yesterday I cleaned out my two bedroom dressers and threw some stuff away and took some stuff to Goodwill and a bag of pictures to put up on a ceiling shelf in the garage. I moved one of the empty dressers to the spare bedroom and got rid of my flimsy laptop table that was in there and rearranged things.


++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

7:53 pm
I’m just in a really glum, shitty mood. I haven’t accomplished much today short of a couple walks, some laundry and a bit of house cleaning. We got Chinese takeout for dinner. It wasn’t that great tonight and now my stomach feels squishy. I got my shrimp and broccoli with no sauce, had no rice or egg roll.
Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day. I am just sick and f- ing  tired of all the shit going on. The sun has to come out at some point and things get better. Crying doesn’t help.


Wednesday, January 13

Only US President to be impeached twice!

Today President Trump was impeached for the second time. I don't give a shit about that I just want the SOB out and the never hold office again. His presidency has been a nightmarish train wreck clusterfuck. He made some bullshit speech this afternoon-too little too late. Didn't admit responsibility for anything.
He needs to be shut up and locked up and his cult followers too.

There's some upsetting family issues going on and I've been gone for a couple days. My heart is heavy and I feel vexed with worry but there's nothing I can do. Things need to fix themselves. I've been for several walks today. I made spaghetti sauce. I've fudged on my diet many days. I need to get my head out of my ass, snap out of it and get back on track.

Thursday, January 7

Impeach Trump again!

6:16 am. I have to leave for work around 7. Today and tomorrow we have training on how to teach classes in person while teaching kids at home online at the same time. Next week I have four days of doing that with ten classes a day and traveling between each classroom with no time gap allotted in between. I will make my own time gaps. This is bullshit. I accepted this long term sub job because it was described by HR as all online but then the district decided to bring kids back Jan. 11 and I am trying my best to fulfill my agreement but I’m disgruntled.....
 I got ready to leave, loaded my car and then just finally decided I cannot do this- I cannot go into all those classrooms during the height of the pandemic without a vaccine with my low immune system. I came back in the house and emailed the principal that I quit. I’m not going to risk it. I already have all the classes set up online for three days. When they offered me the job they told me it was all online. I’m protecting my own health and my husband’s health.  

Tuesday, January 5

5:47am

 So I’m up early and dressed, trying to read the news and wake up. At 7:00 I have to drive over to the elementary school in Carpentersville to work online teaching to get the staff used to coming back in to work. Next week the students will be back so we’ll be teaching kids in person while also teaching the kids at home online. I will only have four days of that luckily. I’m not going to worry about it. It’s only a few days. It is what it is. I just have to get it done. 

Mike will have to be tending the dog until I get home this week and next week. He isn’t as good about walking her as I am. I’ll walk her when I get home. I’ve been offered a building sub position at my old school district and could work every day of the rest of the school year but what’s the point in being retired if I do that? Plus it will be in person assigned to various classes around a middle school. I’m sure a lot of retirees don’t want to sub during the pandemic. I’m sure subs are in short supply. 

Monday, January 4

Hi Hi Hi Ho it’s back to work I go

It’s 6:42am Monday. I have two more weeks of my sub job. It was a bad decision to do this but I’m fulfilling my agreement. I’m teaching from home today but going in to the school Tuesday through Friday. This Thursday and Friday the students will be asynchronous while we teachers have training on how to teach in person while simultaneously teaching online the kids whose parents chose to keep them home. 

 Next week Monday through Thursday I’ll be teaching kids in person while also teaching kids online and going between ten classrooms in order to keep the kids inside all their classrooms. There is no time gap between scheduled classes so no clue how the fuck that will work..... On Friday they will be at home and asynchronous. I am NOT looking forward to going from classroom to classroom teaching in person and online at the same time. It sounds completely nuts to me. That’s only four days of it. I keep reminding myself.

I’ve felt unwell the last few days but my symptoms have been mild and I’ve had no fever. I’ll get mandatory Covid19 testing at school this and next Wednesday. My pay rate doesn’t bump up and double until I complete the day this Friday and then it will be retroactive to day 1. That will help make it worthwhile. 
I have to take Bitzi out for a walk in a few minutes so I can get back inside and prep to teach at 8:00. It’s still dark outside. 

**********************************

7:45 I took Bitzi out for a little walk and got my computer logged on and set up and my lessons laid out for the day. I’m not going to worry and move forward with calm confidence. Attitude is everything. Let’s do this. I’m wearing my tight yoga pants, tiger print top and fuzzy slippers. It’s going to be a good day. 














Friday, January 1

A new year with new hope

2:34 pm

It’s new year’s day. It snow-raining. I’ve had Bitzi out a couple time walking. You have to be really careful with the ice.

I’ve been putting stuff back in the kitchen drawers and cabinets, sorting, organizing and throwing things away. I’ve also been disco dancing and singing on the microphone with my big Bluetooth speaker. 

Now I’m resting a bit with Bitzi asleep on my nap. It’s quiet in here now except for the dishwasher whooshing and the faint window rain spatter. Mike has been in his office all day working. The windows are covered with icy drizzle. 












Last night I made king crab legs, garlic butter shrimp & cod, stuffed mushrooms, tossed salad, mashed potatoes, corn and lemon cheesecake. It was pretty good but too much for the two of us. We have leftovers from a couple different meals in the fridge. It’s hard to cook for two. If I lived alone I’d probably just make a big pot of oatmeal and live off it all week. I still feel like I have a bit of a cold or something. I haven’t had a Covid test. I have no fever just mild cold symptoms, faint wheezing.... probably nothing. It isn’t always the boogie man. 

Wednesday, December 30

Wednesday’s child is full of woe

Another morning in the construction zone. The cabinet guys just got here. They were supposed to be already finished but have had a couple hiccups and made some mistakes so it’s taking longer. The kitchen, of course, is the heart of the home so it’s very trying to give that space up most of the day for many days. The cabinets as they are now and unfinished do look a whole lot better. This is just part of a much bigger ongoing remodeling project but at least we’re getting chunks done and out of the way. 

I’m in the spare bedroom where all the boxes of kitchen cabinet junk are piled. It tends to be drafty in here. I think the front window needs replaced. I just went and put my slippers and an extra sweater over my turtleneck on. I have been sorting and arranging some school sub stuff. I am still feeling a bit in angst dreading the remaining two weeks in person. I keep feeling verklempt and have to reassure myself it will be okay. What you imagine and fear is always worse than it really is. The only thing you have to fear is fear itself. 

I’m going out shopping in a bit. It snowed and sleeted last night but now it’s a melting mess out there. Mike and I went out shoveled last night around ten. It was kind of fun actually and Bitzi loved the snow! I’m looking to buy a new comfy cozy recliner for the bedroom. I want another new one for the living room but want to wait until the new floors are installed. I got out my essential oil diffuser vaporizers today and put some eucalyptus and lemon oil in the water reservoir to scent the air. My head and breathing have been a bit troublesome the last few days and it must be in reaction to the heat being on all the time. I can’t imagine what else it could be.



Yesterday we went to Costco and got a couple big king crab legs for New Years Eve tomorrow. I have some shrimp in the freezer too. Neither Mike or I drink, so we do seafood. I got a nice new white parka too for a great price. I love it. My old white Columbia coat is wearing out and has been washed and bleached hundreds of times. 




I am starving (part of my daily fasting) and won’t eat until noon. I haven’t been very good about following my own rules lately and haven’t lost any more weight the past week. Just keep going......I can do this. I can treat my body better than I have been the last couple years. I’ve been really worried and upset about my oldest son the past week. He’s been in trouble for addiction before and now he’s drinking heavily and out of control. I had two uncles who ruined their lives from alcoholism. I hate it. No amount of begging or pleading or reasoning helps. He has to do it himself. I have been in angst over that. That is probably what’s causing my feelings of chest squeezing and breathing constriction. I have to just pray and hope things will work out. When your kids are adults you cannot fix things or make them do anything.

I have started a list of things I want to do or go when the pandemic ends. Driving the Florida Keys is on the list and tent camping/hiking is on it too. I want to go to LasVegas next December......and I want to go to Smoky Mountain National Park again and go hiking. An Alaskan cruise out of Seattle is also on the wish list..........I can always dream of things at least. 

I’m back from a couple stores. I did not find a recliner for the bedroom. The saga continues.....I did run in Aldi and get a few things. It’s very icy and slippery and slushy out there. I didn’t want to shop any more so came home and took Bitzi outside. She just wants to play in the snow and ice. She doesn’t care if she freezes to death. The cabinet guy is almost done. Yesterday he dropped a hammer on my new quartz counter and cracked it. WTF,,,,,so now we will have to investigate getting it fixed. He has offered to pay for the repair. I’m not sure it can be repaired. What in the flipping fuk......Oh well it will all be fine. It’s just a counter. No one got hurt. It is what it is. He’s a very polite guy but seems a bit ditzy and a space case (like I should talk, I know.....)

I’ve been doing some tidying up, well as much as is possible with guys still working in the kitchen with stuff all over. I watched a couple episodes of Hoarders Monday night.  There is nothing that puts me in the mood to clean and organize like watching Hoarders.....scary stuff! Bitzi is lying on the carpet at my feet here in the spare bedroom. I rearranged the desk and stuff. Sill not happy. Maybe when all this other crap is out of here it will feel like a real room and not a junk room. 

I am starving and it’s almost time for me to eat but they’re still in the kitchen. I had to move their step ladder to put the groceries in the fridge. The snow outside is pretty. Snow always looks pretty to me until February and then I want it to be over. I told Mike last night that after he retires I think we should go to the Florida keys for February from then on. He thought that was a good idea to just hang out and drive around to all the keys for a few weeks. Sounds good to me. We really like driving around and exploring places.

I was born on a Wednesday



I’m going to close this post out and go do something else productive so I have some feeling of accomplishment today.  Stay warm and stay well.

SS

Tuesday, December 22

You can’t please everyone so you’ve got to please yourself

 It’s 5:22 and I’ve been awake way over an hour. I just woke up and couldn’t go back to sleep. I guess I have a lot of family issues on my mind. I try to tell myself that things will work out but that little troll inside my brain wants to worry about everyone. I can’t really even talk about it. Things will have to work out on their own. I have to give it to the universe and let it be. I am not the fixer of all things. 

The man fixing and painting our kitchen cabinets is coming to start this morning so I have to get things ready to facilitate his work and stay out of his way. Hennessy ( six) is here so we’ll go for a walk and shopping or something to stay out of the way.




Monday, December 21

Sleigh ride 2020

6:16am

Good morning!  I’m up and dressed and sipping my coffee before I drive down to Canton and back to deliver family Christmas presents. My daughter and sister are meeting me and they will distribute packages for me. I’m trying to be safe but do a little something for Christmas, plus I needed the nice long drive alone after being cooped up in the house with my husband for months. He has to work today. My six year old granddaughter Hennessy is coming back home with me. I haven’t seen her in months. I am happy for my blessings! We have a dinky tabletop tree and a few lights up. It will be a modest Christmas this year but that’s okay as long as we’re safe. You have to be grateful for the blessings you’re given. Bitzi is riding along with me so I’ll take her out to pee at sunrise before I take off. She is very good in the car.





Wednesday, December 16

The light at the end of a tunnel

5:58am I’m up early again because of work. I like to rise early, get myself dressed, drink my coffee, read my news and emails and get myself set. Before I start teaching at 8 I have to take the dog out for her walk and log on the my laptop and get everything set up. It’s still difficult for me with all these classes being back to back. You have to hustle. I use a kitchen timer to keep track of time. I have two more weeks in January for this job. The first week I have to go in to the school for meetings and to teach remotely, the second week to teach in person ( some students returning) while teaching online ( some students still from home). It’s going to be nuts but it will only be 5 days...... SO we shall see...I’m not going to worry about it now. I’ll do my best. Things always work out. 

Mike is still sound asleep in the bedroom. The door is open so I can hear his bear noises. The sunrise is an hour away. I like my morning time to myself. On mornings when Mike does get up early and comes out here and sits on the couch in the living room and falls back asleep with the morning news on I feel somewhat invaded. We have been cooped up in this house together for months now. Alone time is valuable. I’m going to take a drive next week.  And now I’ve jinxed myself and Mike is up watching news. Oh well.... today is garbage day and he has a mission 🤪.
We have nothing planned for Christmas- not going anywhere, not having anyone one, just staying home and safe. This is our cozy nest. Before long the world will open up and things will go back to some version of normal. We’ll have a new president and Vice President and new administration. More people will be getting vaccinated for the virus. Things will improve in 2021. I have faith.

I am continuing to slowly lose weight but I’m not walking as much now that I’m working online. I’m going to try to do two longer walks today. Bitzi loves her walks. They’re good for both of us.

 All four of my children have things going on that concern me but they’re adults and I can’t help. They have to do it themselves. Some times that can be the hardest thing for me to do- stay out of it. Mike’s son and his wife are having their first baby the end of January. The baby boy has some kind of congenital disorder called C-PAM and has a small mass in his chest near the heart and left lung. The mass is shrinking but the baby will need surgery some time soon after birth. It’s good that it’s shrinking and not hampering the baby’s growth. Still that’s a concerning situation until he’s here and gets it fixed. There’s always something going on with a big family.

I still don’t have the presents I’ve bought sorted and bagged. I need to do that. I also need to do an hour or more of school work tonight for Friday and over the break.

2:15pm I’m done with all my classes. I feel wrung out now like a used dish rag.

Tuesday, December 15

Navigating a turbulent world

8:15 pm
I’m lying on the couch in my pajamas. It’s been a pretty good day. I am sincerely grateful for my blessings. There are issues going on with family. I am trying to stay out of things and not worry. I’m trying to trust the universe to take care of things. I have to have faith. I am not the fixer for the world. Things will go as they’re supposed to go. I will take care of my own business. I have to trust. 

Monday, December 14

Electors’ voting day

I’ve been up for over an hour. It’s 6:46 now. In a few minutes I have to take Bitzi out for a walk so I can get ready to sign on the Zoom and start teaching. I have fourth graders this morning and ( I think) first graders after the brief break- fast and furious. I don’t like the limited hours of daylight in the winter but it is what it is.in another week the days will start getting a little longer so there’s that hope.

The electors cast their votes today. I hope and pray it goes smoothly and there’s no bullshit or violence. There’s no telling what shit the predator in chief and his cult of lunatics will try to pull off.

Yesterday I got all my Christmas cards made out and mailed. I got my mugs decorated and now the have to sit for a few days to allow the ink to soak in before I bake them to further seal the designs. They’re cute- just a little homemade something. I’m trying not to make sweets because I know I’ll eat them.

Saturday, December 12

Rain on the roof

It’s dark, chilly and rainy this morning. I’ve been awake for a while because Mike got up with his shoulder pain again and was sitting in the living room with the heating pad on it for a while so I woke up and couldn’t go back to sleep. Then he came back in to bed but I was awake so just got up. It’s noticeably chillier today and I can hear the splatter of the rain against the window and roof. I usually am out walking Bitzi by this time but she’s sleeping now so I’ll wait in hopes of the rain letting up. 
 
We’re going to St.Charles to see Annette later. I have things to get at the store and things to do at home. Mike has work to do first too.

9:33 I took Bitzi for a short walk with the umbrella. It’s icy rain and wind out there. Winter is here.
I cleaned up some stuff. I’m starving. No pain, no gain. At least my gut never feels bloated any more, so that’s a plus.

Monday, December 7

Getting pumped up

6:24. I’ve been up an hour. I’m subbing for an elementary general music teacher until Jan.15 when she returns from maternity leave. This morning I have five fourth grade Zoom classes back-to-back. This afternoon I have five kindergarten classes. It’s fast and furious for 30- minute classes. When we return from winter break in January the kids are set to return to school my last week working.

I’m just drinking coffee now trying to mentally prepare for the day... Mike is still sleeping. I have to take Bitzi out for a little walk before I get ready to start work online. I’m just going to do my best, try to shine and enjoy the kids as much as I can. On the 19th I’m driving to Canton & Lewistown to deliver Christmas presents. That’s not so far away. I’ll live on that until I go.














Sunday, December 6

Trudging through the pandemic

7:29am Sunday morning

I just turned the heat up. My fingers are cold. Mike is comatose on the couch with the TV news chattering away. I’m drinking my coffee ( black with MCT oil) and getting geared up to go walk. I think Bitzi is still sleeping in her fabric igloo in her little kitchen pen. I fed and watered her but she didn’t come out of her igloo. We walked three miles yesterday- quite a lot for her tiny puppy legs. I’m wanting another shihtzu male puppy but haven’t told Mike yet. He grouches over everything. We have room for another one. 

We’re going over to see Annette ( Mike’s mom) in St.Charles later this morning around ten when she’s done watching her mass service on TV. I’m leaving my mask on while we’re in her house because who knows which relatives she’s been around and I could have it and not know. I’m taking no chances. 

I just ordered some gifts through Amazon to be delivered to my sister Vicki ( who is mentally and physically handicapped and 70 and lives in a group handicapped home with three other women in Peoria) because I don’t anticipate being able to see her soon. The company is very careful with the residents.

2:09pm

I’m sitting here on the couch by Mike watching The Bears game. I could care less. I just did some practice lessons to get more comfortable with the technology on my laptop. I’ll try again later. Fairly awkward switching between videos and sharing the Zoom screen. My poor vision doesn’t help.

We went to Mike’s mom’s house. She is obviously depressed again. She refuses to take her prescribed antidepressants. It is what it is.

Friday, December 4

Five ways to cope with life

I’m sixty one and retired. For some odd reason I thought that substitute teaching might be a fun, easy thing to keep me busy, connected and earn some extra money ( we’re remodeling our house and things add up...) so I accepted a long term elementary music sub job in a new neighboring school district. I should have listened to my intuition when I was filling out the application-they asked a crazy amount of information, background, references, a Zoom interview with five administrators....Then I had to undergo an exceptionally thorough health exam, drug screening, fingerprinting and criminal background check. At this point I just want to flipping’ forget about it but figured I’d come that far but then it was the week of Thanksgiving and everything was shit down and I didn’t hear a peep from their HR. Then on Monday Nov.30 at 7am I got a call that all my forms had cleared and they wanted me to start right away. After that it was a crazy whirlwind getting me started. They use a completely different e-learning platform than I was used to. Their Zoom version is different and much more restrictive. Because I’m a sub I do not have access to a lot of the online staff resources. I was panicking very badly Tuesday morning not being able to access my classes until I had a Zoom meeting with a wonderful, patient tech who walked me through stuff to get me up and running. I am not all the caught up with all the latest music education technology and I am not going to attempt to learn a bunch of new programs badly to sub for a couple weeks. I am going to do my best. I actually had fun and enjoyed the five fourth grade classes I had yesterday. I was told that Fridays are asynchronous so I assumed I wouldn’t have classes. This district is also on a different kind of rotating alphabetical schedule I am not accustomed to so I didn’t even really know as this first Friday I’m doing counts toward that schedule (after calling the building secretary and being on hold for ten minutes while she found out what day it was) I learned that Fridays do not count and “specials teachers” do not have students on Fridays we just load stuff online for them to do (which I did manage to do last night.) I am more of a MAC person and not very fluent or comfortable using PCs but now I’m forced to use the building loaner PC which is an older thinkpad with a weird trackpad and clickers that is awkward to use. I had to screw around with it quite a while to adjust the display settings for my low vision. All of this causes me stress and anxiety. There’s so just so many stressful things happening in life now anyway and I have to just mentally slap myself and fix it and snap the hell out of it when I start feeling anxiety, my chest squeezing and my heart starting to feel a bit racy. Below are some things I’ve used successful to settle myself down.

  1. Take a slow deep breath. Oxygen always helps to calm me down. Go for a long walk and concentrate on your breath. Slow inhales, slow exhales are how you calm it down. Sometimes I also do alternate nostril breathing to calm down and sometimes to help me get to sleep at night.
  2. Try to think of the good parts of whatever is bothering you or making you verklempt. There are almost always SOME good parts of anything. Try to focus and lean on those for a while and less on the negative parts. When I was critically ill with my brain and eye cancer I tried to find good things to ponder on every day- whether it was the chocolate milk shakes at Rush hospital in Chicago or my fuzzy stuffed pig chemo buddy.
  3. Journal, blog or talk to a close friend or family member about whatever it is that’s causing your worry. Somehow getting it out, writing it, speaking it, processing it makes everything more manageable and gives the boogie man less power. Get it out and that will help.
  4. Look at the problem or issue from different angles. Try going at it from a different way. Explore all options. Sometimes things look completely different from another side. Take a break and come back at it later. Things may be much clearer later. 
  5. Ask for help from somebody who is informed and experienced with whatever the issue it is. It doesn’t hurt to ask for help. Everybody needs help at one time or another. Be open to advice. You can’t slay all the dragons in the world yourself. Send up a flag and ask for help when you need it.

Now it’s late morning and I’ve resolved to do some planning over the weekend to feel more prepared and confident in my sub job. I have resolved to stick it out until Jan. 15 when the teacher returns from maternity leave. When I agreed to do this job I was told I could work remotely from home. I went into the school two days last week and got my technology bugaboos worked and felt confident enough to work from home on Thursday but Wednesday evening, to cover me bases, I emailed the elementary school assistant principal that I would be working from home on Thursday just to let them know. Thursday morning then I had 5 Zoom classes all in a row and when I got a break from those and finally checked my email I read what seemed to me to be a bitchy snotty note from the principal saying that he had to have a form from their district signed from me to work at home and I should work from school until I’m confident with the technology and the music curriculum. NO ONE EVER told me there was some kind of contract I needed signed NOR did anyone mention I needed to follow their music curriculum specifically note have I been given it. I was pretty upset and sent the principal back a very polite short note saying I was told when I hired that I would be working remotely and no one ever mentioned a form nor any of the other things and he should find someone else to do the sub job.  He then sent me a note back later apologizing for not being clear. I was ready to quit. I still want to but I’m going to try my best to finish and go until Jan.15 but then I will never work for this particular district again. I get plenty of offers from my old district and my current town. I dont need the BS from this third school district. So that’s that!  PHEW!

I’m listening to Beethoven piano sonata #14.

The spare bedroom has now become my new office. I’m going to rearrange it. The laptop table I had been using doesn’t feel as stable and secure as this other table so now I’m just going to use it for the overflow of stuff.

ITS GONNA BE ALRIGHT. JUST KEEP SAYING IT. JUST KEEP SWIMMING. JUST KEEP BREATHING IN AND OUT.


Monday, November 30

Keeping the ties connected

I’m thinking about the way the world is now and how people come and go from your life. When you get close to someone you form a bound or ties with them. Sometimes those ties are sturdy and tight. Sometimes those ties are just flimsy threads like spider webs that fall apart at the slightest breeze or incident. Sometimes the ties you thought were the strongest and would forever hold fast don't. They either loosen on their own or something breaks them. Sometimes you want and need to tend and tighten the knots but sometimes you undo them on your own. Right now I can feel so many ties on my heart, many of them pulling and slipping away. Sometimes you simply can’t fix them. Sometimes you just have to let things be and give it to the universe to decide. 

It’s gloomy and overcast outside. I think it might snow today. I have a bunch of things to do but don’t feel like doing anything. I may go do a little shopping. A walk will help. Walks always help. Mike is off work again today because he gets two days off for working Thanksgiving. I’m sitting here drinking coffee in the front sitting room facing the window typing on my IPad with one finger, my soft throw blanket on my lap ,still in my soft pajamas and slippers. Mike just got up and turned the living room TV news on in the adjoining room. He doesn’t understand my quiet introvert ways. He’s not that kind of overly-sensitive person -a good thing for the most part. He’s pretty straight forward, even keeled and direct. He’s not overly sensitive and emotional like me. He doesn’t overthink and agonize things. It is what it is with him.

9:04am Bitzi and I just went for a .7 mile walk. It’s just beginning to dust snow out.Mike stayed home. He did actually go for part of a walk with me yesterday. 

Ten tricks to stay positive

Now in February 2021 the world has been living with, fighting, learning about and worrying over Covid-19. I keep reading all the stories of ...