We got another 4-6” of snow last night on top of the piles that were already out there. In our small yard some of the drifts are more than 18” high. I went out with Mike and helped clear the driveway and walks. Thankfully I have my super warm long quilted coat and tall fur-lined boots for times like this. It’s actually not as wickedly cold out today as it has been recently so at least that’s good. I don’t think I’m going out anywhere today. After Mike gets done with work tonight we’ll drive the one mile to Beef Shack for their $1.00 hot dogs Tuesday special. They’re pretty good fully-loaded Chicago style dogs.
Tuesday, February 16
Monday, January 4
It’s 6:42am Monday. I have two more weeks of my sub job. It was a bad decision to do this but I’m fulfilling my agreement. I’m teaching from home today but going in to the school Tuesday through Friday. This Thursday and Friday the students will be asynchronous while we teachers have training on how to teach in person while simultaneously teaching online the kids whose parents chose to keep them home.
Next week Monday through Thursday I’ll be teaching kids in person while also teaching kids online and going between ten classrooms in order to keep the kids inside all their classrooms. There is no time gap between scheduled classes so no clue how the fuck that will work..... On Friday they will be at home and asynchronous. I am NOT looking forward to going from classroom to classroom teaching in person and online at the same time. It sounds completely nuts to me. That’s only four days of it. I keep reminding myself.
I’ve felt unwell the last few days but my symptoms have been mild and I’ve had no fever. I’ll get mandatory Covid19 testing at school this and next Wednesday. My pay rate doesn’t bump up and double until I complete the day this Friday and then it will be retroactive to day 1. That will help make it worthwhile.
I have to take Bitzi out for a walk in a few minutes so I can get back inside and prep to teach at 8:00. It’s still dark outside.
7:45 I took Bitzi out for a little walk and got my computer logged on and set up and my lessons laid out for the day. I’m not going to worry and move forward with calm confidence. Attitude is everything. Let’s do this. I’m wearing my tight yoga pants, tiger print top and fuzzy slippers. It’s going to be a good day.
Wednesday, December 30
Another morning in the construction zone. The cabinet guys just got here. They were supposed to be already finished but have had a couple hiccups and made some mistakes so it’s taking longer. The kitchen, of course, is the heart of the home so it’s very trying to give that space up most of the day for many days. The cabinets as they are now and unfinished do look a whole lot better. This is just part of a much bigger ongoing remodeling project but at least we’re getting chunks done and out of the way.
I’m in the spare bedroom where all the boxes of kitchen cabinet junk are piled. It tends to be drafty in here. I think the front window needs replaced. I just went and put my slippers and an extra sweater over my turtleneck on. I have been sorting and arranging some school sub stuff. I am still feeling a bit in angst dreading the remaining two weeks in person. I keep feeling verklempt and have to reassure myself it will be okay. What you imagine and fear is always worse than it really is. The only thing you have to fear is fear itself.
I’m going out shopping in a bit. It snowed and sleeted last night but now it’s a melting mess out there. Mike and I went out shoveled last night around ten. It was kind of fun actually and Bitzi loved the snow! I’m looking to buy a new comfy cozy recliner for the bedroom. I want another new one for the living room but want to wait until the new floors are installed. I got out my essential oil diffuser vaporizers today and put some eucalyptus and lemon oil in the water reservoir to scent the air. My head and breathing have been a bit troublesome the last few days and it must be in reaction to the heat being on all the time. I can’t imagine what else it could be.
Yesterday we went to Costco and got a couple big king crab legs for New Years Eve tomorrow. I have some shrimp in the freezer too. Neither Mike or I drink, so we do seafood. I got a nice new white parka too for a great price. I love it. My old white Columbia coat is wearing out and has been washed and bleached hundreds of times.
I am starving (part of my daily fasting) and won’t eat until noon. I haven’t been very good about following my own rules lately and haven’t lost any more weight the past week. Just keep going......I can do this. I can treat my body better than I have been the last couple years. I’ve been really worried and upset about my oldest son the past week. He’s been in trouble for addiction before and now he’s drinking heavily and out of control. I had two uncles who ruined their lives from alcoholism. I hate it. No amount of begging or pleading or reasoning helps. He has to do it himself. I have been in angst over that. That is probably what’s causing my feelings of chest squeezing and breathing constriction. I have to just pray and hope things will work out. When your kids are adults you cannot fix things or make them do anything.
I have started a list of things I want to do or go when the pandemic ends. Driving the Florida Keys is on the list and tent camping/hiking is on it too. I want to go to LasVegas next December......and I want to go to Smoky Mountain National Park again and go hiking. An Alaskan cruise out of Seattle is also on the wish list..........I can always dream of things at least.
I’m back from a couple stores. I did not find a recliner for the bedroom. The saga continues.....I did run in Aldi and get a few things. It’s very icy and slippery and slushy out there. I didn’t want to shop any more so came home and took Bitzi outside. She just wants to play in the snow and ice. She doesn’t care if she freezes to death. The cabinet guy is almost done. Yesterday he dropped a hammer on my new quartz counter and cracked it. WTF,,,,,so now we will have to investigate getting it fixed. He has offered to pay for the repair. I’m not sure it can be repaired. What in the flipping fuk......Oh well it will all be fine. It’s just a counter. No one got hurt. It is what it is. He’s a very polite guy but seems a bit ditzy and a space case (like I should talk, I know.....)
I’ve been doing some tidying up, well as much as is possible with guys still working in the kitchen with stuff all over. I watched a couple episodes of Hoarders Monday night. There is nothing that puts me in the mood to clean and organize like watching Hoarders.....scary stuff! Bitzi is lying on the carpet at my feet here in the spare bedroom. I rearranged the desk and stuff. Sill not happy. Maybe when all this other crap is out of here it will feel like a real room and not a junk room.
I am starving and it’s almost time for me to eat but they’re still in the kitchen. I had to move their step ladder to put the groceries in the fridge. The snow outside is pretty. Snow always looks pretty to me until February and then I want it to be over. I told Mike last night that after he retires I think we should go to the Florida keys for February from then on. He thought that was a good idea to just hang out and drive around to all the keys for a few weeks. Sounds good to me. We really like driving around and exploring places.
I was born on a Wednesday
I’m going to close this post out and go do something else productive so I have some feeling of accomplishment today. Stay warm and stay well.
Friday, December 4
I’m sixty one and retired. For some odd reason I thought that substitute teaching might be a fun, easy thing to keep me busy, connected and earn some extra money ( we’re remodeling our house and things add up...) so I accepted a long term elementary music sub job in a new neighboring school district. I should have listened to my intuition when I was filling out the application-they asked a crazy amount of information, background, references, a Zoom interview with five administrators....Then I had to undergo an exceptionally thorough health exam, drug screening, fingerprinting and criminal background check. At this point I just want to flipping’ forget about it but figured I’d come that far but then it was the week of Thanksgiving and everything was shit down and I didn’t hear a peep from their HR. Then on Monday Nov.30 at 7am I got a call that all my forms had cleared and they wanted me to start right away. After that it was a crazy whirlwind getting me started. They use a completely different e-learning platform than I was used to. Their Zoom version is different and much more restrictive. Because I’m a sub I do not have access to a lot of the online staff resources. I was panicking very badly Tuesday morning not being able to access my classes until I had a Zoom meeting with a wonderful, patient tech who walked me through stuff to get me up and running. I am not all the caught up with all the latest music education technology and I am not going to attempt to learn a bunch of new programs badly to sub for a couple weeks. I am going to do my best. I actually had fun and enjoyed the five fourth grade classes I had yesterday. I was told that Fridays are asynchronous so I assumed I wouldn’t have classes. This district is also on a different kind of rotating alphabetical schedule I am not accustomed to so I didn’t even really know as this first Friday I’m doing counts toward that schedule (after calling the building secretary and being on hold for ten minutes while she found out what day it was) I learned that Fridays do not count and “specials teachers” do not have students on Fridays we just load stuff online for them to do (which I did manage to do last night.) I am more of a MAC person and not very fluent or comfortable using PCs but now I’m forced to use the building loaner PC which is an older thinkpad with a weird trackpad and clickers that is awkward to use. I had to screw around with it quite a while to adjust the display settings for my low vision. All of this causes me stress and anxiety. There’s so just so many stressful things happening in life now anyway and I have to just mentally slap myself and fix it and snap the hell out of it when I start feeling anxiety, my chest squeezing and my heart starting to feel a bit racy. Below are some things I’ve used successful to settle myself down.
- Take a slow deep breath. Oxygen always helps to calm me down. Go for a long walk and concentrate on your breath. Slow inhales, slow exhales are how you calm it down. Sometimes I also do alternate nostril breathing to calm down and sometimes to help me get to sleep at night.
- Try to think of the good parts of whatever is bothering you or making you verklempt. There are almost always SOME good parts of anything. Try to focus and lean on those for a while and less on the negative parts. When I was critically ill with my brain and eye cancer I tried to find good things to ponder on every day- whether it was the chocolate milk shakes at Rush hospital in Chicago or my fuzzy stuffed pig chemo buddy.
- Journal, blog or talk to a close friend or family member about whatever it is that’s causing your worry. Somehow getting it out, writing it, speaking it, processing it makes everything more manageable and gives the boogie man less power. Get it out and that will help.
- Look at the problem or issue from different angles. Try going at it from a different way. Explore all options. Sometimes things look completely different from another side. Take a break and come back at it later. Things may be much clearer later.
- Ask for help from somebody who is informed and experienced with whatever the issue it is. It doesn’t hurt to ask for help. Everybody needs help at one time or another. Be open to advice. You can’t slay all the dragons in the world yourself. Send up a flag and ask for help when you need it.Now it’s late morning and I’ve resolved to do some planning over the weekend to feel more prepared and confident in my sub job. I have resolved to stick it out until Jan. 15 when the teacher returns from maternity leave. When I agreed to do this job I was told I could work remotely from home. I went into the school two days last week and got my technology bugaboos worked and felt confident enough to work from home on Thursday but Wednesday evening, to cover me bases, I emailed the elementary school assistant principal that I would be working from home on Thursday just to let them know. Thursday morning then I had 5 Zoom classes all in a row and when I got a break from those and finally checked my email I read what seemed to me to be a bitchy snotty note from the principal saying that he had to have a form from their district signed from me to work at home and I should work from school until I’m confident with the technology and the music curriculum. NO ONE EVER told me there was some kind of contract I needed signed NOR did anyone mention I needed to follow their music curriculum specifically note have I been given it. I was pretty upset and sent the principal back a very polite short note saying I was told when I hired that I would be working remotely and no one ever mentioned a form nor any of the other things and he should find someone else to do the sub job. He then sent me a note back later apologizing for not being clear. I was ready to quit. I still want to but I’m going to try my best to finish and go until Jan.15 but then I will never work for this particular district again. I get plenty of offers from my old district and my current town. I dont need the BS from this third school district. So that’s that! PHEW!I’m listening to Beethoven piano sonata #14.The spare bedroom has now become my new office. I’m going to rearrange it. The laptop table I had been using doesn’t feel as stable and secure as this other table so now I’m just going to use it for the overflow of stuff.ITS GONNA BE ALRIGHT. JUST KEEP SAYING IT. JUST KEEP SWIMMING. JUST KEEP BREATHING IN AND OUT.
Monday, November 30
I’m thinking about the way the world is now and how people come and go from your life. When you get close to someone you form a bound or ties with them. Sometimes those ties are sturdy and tight. Sometimes those ties are just flimsy threads like spider webs that fall apart at the slightest breeze or incident. Sometimes the ties you thought were the strongest and would forever hold fast don't. They either loosen on their own or something breaks them. Sometimes you want and need to tend and tighten the knots but sometimes you undo them on your own. Right now I can feel so many ties on my heart, many of them pulling and slipping away. Sometimes you simply can’t fix them. Sometimes you just have to let things be and give it to the universe to decide.
It’s gloomy and overcast outside. I think it might snow today. I have a bunch of things to do but don’t feel like doing anything. I may go do a little shopping. A walk will help. Walks always help. Mike is off work again today because he gets two days off for working Thanksgiving. I’m sitting here drinking coffee in the front sitting room facing the window typing on my IPad with one finger, my soft throw blanket on my lap ,still in my soft pajamas and slippers. Mike just got up and turned the living room TV news on in the adjoining room. He doesn’t understand my quiet introvert ways. He’s not that kind of overly-sensitive person -a good thing for the most part. He’s pretty straight forward, even keeled and direct. He’s not overly sensitive and emotional like me. He doesn’t overthink and agonize things. It is what it is with him.
9:04am Bitzi and I just went for a .7 mile walk. It’s just beginning to dust snow out.Mike stayed home. He did actually go for part of a walk with me yesterday.
Wednesday, November 25
It’s the day before Thanksgiving. I’m sitting in my chair in the front room sipping on my coffee. I’m wearing gray soft yoga pants, wool socks, slippers, a white shirt and my old comfy favorite white sweater. It’s chilly in the house and still dark outside. Mike is snoring in the bedroom. I’m trying to not wake him. I cuddled him up a little before I got out of bed, careful not to wake him. He’s always felt warm and cuddly and safe to me. When I was on deaths door lying in the hospital bed he climbed in next to me and held me. I couldn’t even talk then but it helped comfort me so much.
Yesterday we got our new kitchen counters installed. Immediately it was brighter in the kitchen with the new white quartz. I am overjoyed beyond words. Today the faucet is getting hooked up in the new sink and water turned back on. Next week Mark will start installing the crown molding, painting the cabinets, putting on new drawer pulls. After that’s done we’re getting engineered luxury vinyl flooring installed and redoing all the doors and trim. It’s gonna take a while but it will be worth it for the updated look.
Yesterday I had some gut issues and felt tired. We had some snow and sleet and I only took Bitzi out for a couple short walks. I just didn’t feel like it.
So we’re finally making progress on our house. There is a corona virus vaccine on the horizon coming. The current president’s administration is starting to facilitate the transfer of power. Praise be! The sun is coming out. There is hope. Tomorrow is another day.
I took Bitzi to the Tall Oaks park across the street just down. It’s misty damp and foggy but not freezing.it’s doable. We’ll go for longer walks later. We didn’t get much exercise yesterday. I’m lucky that the park is right across the street for us.
Recently I have unfollowed, blocked, snoozed and unfriendly a whole bunch of people and groups on social media. I’m done with all the political angst and bullshit. I don’t want to see it. I don’t want to get sucked in. I just plain don’t want the drama. I still have a few things I follow but I only want to intentionally consume good, positive, healthy things. I don’t want the other shit polluting my mind and emotions. I want to keep my mind sacred and calm.
Mark Aminsen is here now installing the faucet. Mike has an issue with the countertop installation and called the company. He has an issue with the seam not being smooth enough and a place in the caulking. Mark will be back next week for the cabinet work. It’s pouring rain now and getting noticeably colder. I just did some tidying up in my bathroom and bedroom. I’m constantly purging things.
I’m starving. I didn’t fast correctly yesterday and went slightly over my low carb limit. I’m not a Nazi. I do my best.
Sunday, November 22
12:18 pm Sunday
The day is mild and overcast.I did a little housework and took the dog on two walks and had lunch. I’m not fasting today but I’m still restricting carbs. I’ll admit I am feeling kind of glum today just about a whole lot of things. The overcast sky doesn’t help but the walks and fresh air do help. We went out and ran a couple errands and then just came home and continued watching season 3 of The Crown. I was cuddled up on the couch under a soft blanket with my head on my neck pillow on Mike’s lap. It was cozy. I eventually fell asleep and so did he.
Mike’s mom was sick at her stomach yesterday and said she felt like she was getting the flu. I hope she hasn’t picked up anything.
Monday 7:33 am
Yesterday I wrote letters and made out Thanksgiving cards to send to the grandkids. I had two gallon- size ziplock bags full on misc. cards that I sorted through. I got rid of a bunch that didn’t have envelopes. I put them in 4 different labeled ziplock bags so it will be easier to find the correct card from now on. They had all been in two nice heavy decorator boxes on the shelf in the back office but I got rid of the boxes when I cleared out the office to paint. The sorting yesterday started with me searching for a sympathy card to send my friend whose mother died on my birthday. She had been suffering with Alzheimer’s for years and the situation had been very bleak for a long time.
Today I’m going to try to get out the Christmas stuff and the Christmas cards. We need to make lists of what’s stored upstairs in the attic and what’s store in the garage and where. I drives me nuts and gives me great angst to not be able to find stuff.
At least the sun is shining.
8:59 I just got back from a 1.3 mile walk around Wildflower Lake with Bitzi. Although I sometimes complain about all things, I really do meet some of the nicest folks while walking around here. When someone passes me or comes near I pull my mask up over my nose and mouth. When I’m off by myself I have it down so mu sunglasses don’t fog. I saw an bald eagle perched in a tree on the far side of the lake.I took that as a sign of hope.
Around noon Sallie is supposed to FaceTime call me when she’s at our other sister Vicki’s group home in Peoria. I had been going to meet her there today but decided not to travel.
After that call I’ll take Bitzi for a walk around the other lake.
Tomorrow the new quartz kitchen counters, under mount sink and new faucet are getting installed. I just moved the front entryway table out of the way to clear the front door. I’m excited!
Wednesday, November 18
I’m drinking my morning coffee. I have brain fog from the Benadryl I took last night. So far it looks overcast. Mike is watching the morning news. I’m so exhausted with the constant Covid-19 coverage and whatever the latest atrocity is with out demented fucknut president and his cult of deplorables. I wish I could wash my ears and brain out with hot water and bleach to make no trace of bullshit linger. I’m worried / upset with a couple of my family members. I’ve experienced this before. There’s nothing that I can do so I’ll leave it alone and stay silent. I’ll pack up my feelings and push myself forward through the emotional storm. I HAVE to keep moving forward. I HAVE to stay positive. Mike says I’m not tough enough. I’m tough in my own way. I just care and worry deeply. I have to put Sensitive Suzy back in the box and move on. Today I’ll be rereading positive affirmations, counting my blessings, walking and swimming. As of this Friday our lodge pool will be closed due to Covid phase 3 being enforced. I’m getting my pool time in today and tomorrow.
This morning I have to drive over to my doctor’s office in Bartlett to pick up my health / drug screening form for district 300 and then I have to go to the D300 central office to turn in my forms and get fingerprinted to get cleared for the long term music sub job. It’s kind of a pain in the ass to go through but it will add some money to the coffers.
8:57am I took Bitzi up to the top of the steep hill in the park across the street. Although I wore a pretty warm jacket I was still uncomfortable with the biting wind. I came back home, decided not to change clothes, fixed my hair and actually took time to apply makeup ( I rarely wear any these days. Now I’m waiting around a bit to leave for Bartlett and Carpentersville.
I made a reservation at Stoney Creek for next Monday night so I can spend time with Sarah and the boys. Normally I stay with her and Keith but now she’s left him and they’re staying at the farm with her dad ( my ex).I try to stay out of it but I know it’s hard for her. The rest of her family and I have been wishing she’d leave him for a long time. He is angst filled and oppressive and extremely needy. She’s taking control of her dads farm now since he is bad off with stage four colon cancer. It’s a very bad situation.
I haven’t told Mike I’m going yet. He’ll have a total FIT about me staying in a hotel during the pandemic. You do what you gotta do. We’ll be very careful and we’ll be fine. Mike always has to work on Thanksgiving. He doesn’t like turkey so I think I’m going to stuff and roast a chicken and make a couple special side dishes and a nice dessert. I told him to invite his mother but I don’t know if he did yet.
I’m leaving in a few minutes and spending my driving time thinking positive thoughts and being grateful for my life.
. Live on the good parts. Live for the good parts.
The fingerprinting took way too long. Very tedious. Their district office was surprisingly small and plain. The lady who did my fingerprinting wasn’t friendly or cordial at all bordering on a rip. Perhaps she’s suffering with a nasty yeast infection or something.
I took Bitzi for another walk once I got home. The wind is still pretty cutting. I made myself a grilled chicken low- carb burrito for lunch ( very good). Mike came out of his office and made himself a grilled cheese. I can hear him crunching all the way in the sitting room. He sounds like a horse when he chews. It must be the big back molars and the resonance of his big skull and neck. He eats his lunch every day leaning over the kitchen island while reading the paper. Never sits down.
Saturday, November 14
For some reason I woke up and couldn’t go back to sleep. It’s chilly in the house and I have a blanket on my lap. Still cold.
I just got up and got my coffee that just finished brewing and put on my long pink fuzzy robe. That should help. Mike just got up and turned the heat on.unless I have my reading glasses and a flashlight I can’t read the controls on the thermostat.
I’ve been offered the long term elementary music sub job for D300 that lasts from as soon as I can get my forms in until Jan.15. It would be all online. They don’t pay as well as U-46 though. I told the lady from HR I’d tell her yes or no by noon Monday.
Mike is putting me on his group insurance Jan.1 to save money but I verified I can go back on the teachers’ retirement insurance if he retires or gets laid off. He’ll be 62 on Monday.
We have to stop at the bank this morning and get cash for the gift card and for my fingerprinting at the Kane ROE ( for D300) and go to St.Charles and pick up Annette then go to GlenEllyn and drive by Casey & Jackie’s house for the “ drive by baby shower” and quickly drop off the gifts. This is the weird way things are done during a pandemic. Annette has stopped taking her antidepressants again so probably before too long there will be issues again. She’ll be 82 in January. Jerry passed away 5 years ago in March. They were married 52 years.
With my family there’s a bunch of drama going on as usual. My youngest daughter has left her husband. My older daughter’s oldest daughter has been having a lot of depression and anger, rebellion,problems. There’s always something of concern happening. I haven’t seen my family since early October. Due to the surge of the pandemic I’ve been trying to stay home and be more careful.
I’m still doing keto and fasting. I’ve been at a plateau the last couple days and feeling pretty draggy and low energy ( it may be my worries about the kids too).I manage to get Bitzi out for walks a couple times a day but no pool time or very long walks. My middle is feeling a bit smaller which is good. I have a long way to go. This snowball has been rolling downhill getting bigger since the transplant. It’s a lot harder and slower to push it back up the hill and lose a little at a time. The top of the hill is months away.
We started watching season one of The Crown on Netflix last night. It was very good. I love all the historical epochs with the awesome sets, costuming, makeup, locations to create the time period. We stopped on the second episode to watch Real Time with Bill Maher. I fell asleep soon after it started though. We’ll watch it tonight. He’s only on for one more week then he’s done until January. He does that every year.
6:52 It’s starting to get fully light out now. Mike is sitting in the adjoining living room on the couch watching The Masters. I haven’t taken Bitzi out to pee yet. He took her out at 2:30am. I bet she’d be fine going all night without going out to pee but he sits up every night watching TV after I go to bed and he always takes her out. Although he grouches and grumped about getting her and said he didn’t like little dogs and I was crazy to pay $1800 for a 2-lb puppy she has melted his heart and he genuinely loves her. He gets down on the floor and rolls around and pretends to wrestle with her. He takes her back to his office when I’m gone. She’s brought us a lot of joy.
Monday, November 9
I just got back from a walk with Bitzi. It’s sunny, warm with a mild breeze. In a bit I will sign in to a Zoom meeting to sub for a friend of mine who teaches elementary PE in one of my old schools. There will only be four forty-minute classes- 2 third and 2 fourth but I still get paid for a full day. Sweet. Plus the lessons are already loaded online for the kids. Double sweet. I got my first sub offer from Huntley school district this morning for preschool but it started at 7:25 and by the time I got up and saw it it was too late. I’m not familiar with the Huntley schools at all but I’m sure I will be in time.
I knew this bullshit was going to happen with Trump and I knew that he and his cult would promote and encourage his deplorable to protest and riot and be assholes. I knew it a long time ago. Just AWFUL.
10:52am So NOW I'm waiting to log in to the Zoom class but the principal can't let me in because the absent PE teacher didn't add her correctly so she can't get in to let me in and make me teacher so I can take over so just sitting here now.....no matter whether I get logged in or not I'll still get paid!
11:56 the building secretary called and told me I didn’t have to do any zooms for them today. The absent teacher sent the principal a new Zoom link that the students didn’t have and didn’t work anyway. Still get paid though. Really crazy.....
Tuesday, November 3
It’s mid morning. I have to take Bitzi to the groomer in a little while. She’s shaggy and needs her nails and but hair trimmed. She’s had some loosey goosey stuff going on the last couple days so I’m feeding her a bland food from the vet ( very expensive). She’s pretty bad about eating anything she comes across inside and outside. I don’t know if she ate something bad or what. I’ll have to take her to the vet if it doesn’t clear up.
I enjoyed subbing yesterday. I went in to the school but my only duties were overseeing kids completing assigned work via a 3- hour Zoom meeting. I have a 2-day similar job for PE that I’ll do from home Thursday and Friday.
The estimate for the flooring came back really high so I’m not even sure I want to do it now. The floors we currently have are in good shape and fine for what we need. I’m more concerned with updating the kitchen.
I’m feeling kind of emotionally numb today about various ongoing family issues. I’m trying not to worry. I’m trying to stay in the present and do what I can. I just kind of feel zoned out. I have to trust the universe that things will be okay. Worrying doesn’t help anything.
I talked to my daughter for a long time this morning. I feel better now. Praise be.
Monday, October 26
It’s early morning. I got my rooster crow alarm to finally work. Sub finder called me twice. I’m tending the spaniels this week so not taking any sub jobs. I may try taking my first one next week. I am done submitting all my stuff in order to sub for Huntley school district but the lady in charge of the subs who actually enters you in the system is now quarantined at home due to exposure to Covid. Bitzi’s pet groomer is closed down this week due to two of the groomers testing positive. Our mechanic and his daughter just had it. Annette’s sister and brother-in-law died from it. Restaurants & bars indoor seating is now shut down again because of the virus surge. I’m trying not to freak out but am trying extra hard to be careful when we do go out. Even though all my other blood tests are fine and normal I still produce hardly any immunoglobulins in my blood so I have almost no fighter guys to fight off viruses. So I need to be careful.
I have four alarms set on my phone and IPad to remind me to go tend the spaniels. I’ve overslept or gone late a few times. Four more days to go and then the owners return from Myrtle Beach.
My oldest daughter is 38 today. I’ll call her later. I emailed her an Amazon birthday card gift card but don’t know if she got it.I have a 10:45 pool time scheduled this morning. They are actually allowing us to change in the locker rooms now after the one hour time slot. All summer they didn’t allow us in the locker room and we had to just towel off and leave. I put a big beach towel on the seat of my car to drive home. They’re still not allowing us to use the showers though. They still have the big hot tub drained and won’t let us use the sauna. At least we can use the pool though. I bought my own foam dumbbells to use as they don’t allow us to use theirs anymore. I have to go to the store today to get some keto foods.
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6:17am For some reason I woke up and couldn’t go back to sleep. It’s chilly in the house and I have a blanket on my lap. Still cold. I just ...