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Showing posts with the label #2020

Sleigh ride 2020

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6:16am Good morning!  I’m up and dressed and sipping my coffee before I drive down to Canton and back to deliver family Christmas presents. My daughter and sister are meeting me and they will distribute packages for me. I’m trying to be safe but do a little something for Christmas, plus I needed the nice long drive alone after being cooped up in the house with my husband for months. He has to work today. My six year old granddaughter Hennessy is coming back home with me. I haven’t seen her in months. I am happy for my blessings! We have a dinky tabletop tree and a few lights up. It will be a modest Christmas this year but that’s okay as long as we’re safe. You have to be grateful for the blessings you’re given. Bitzi is riding along with me so I’ll take her out to pee at sunrise before I take off. She is very good in the car.

The light at the end of a tunnel

5:58am I’m up early again because of work. I like to rise early, get myself dressed, drink my coffee, read my news and emails and get myself set. Before I start teaching at 8 I have to take the dog out for her walk and log on the my laptop and get everything set up. It’s still difficult for me with all these classes being back to back. You have to hustle. I use a kitchen timer to keep track of time. I have two more weeks in January for this job. The first week I have to go in to the school for meetings and to teach remotely, the second week to teach in person ( some students returning) while teaching online ( some students still from home). It’s going to be nuts but it will only be 5 days...... SO we shall see...I’m not going to worry about it now. I’ll do my best. Things always work out.  Mike is still sound asleep in the bedroom. The door is open so I can hear his bear noises. The sunrise is an hour away. I like my morning time to myself. On mornings when Mike does get up early and c

Navigating a turbulent world

8:15 pm I’m lying on the couch in my pajamas. It’s been a pretty good day. I am sincerely grateful for my blessings. There are issues going on with family. I am trying to stay out of things and not worry. I’m trying to trust the universe to take care of things. I have to have faith. I am not the fixer for the world. Things will go as they’re supposed to go. I will take care of my own business. I have to trust. 

Electors’ voting day

I’ve been up for over an hour. It’s 6:46 now. In a few minutes I have to take Bitzi out for a walk so I can get ready to sign on the Zoom and start teaching. I have fourth graders this morning and ( I think) first graders after the brief break- fast and furious. I don’t like the limited hours of daylight in the winter but it is what it is.in another week the days will start getting a little longer so there’s that hope. The electors cast their votes today. I hope and pray it goes smoothly and there’s no bullshit or violence. There’s no telling what shit the predator in chief and his cult of lunatics will try to pull off. Yesterday I got all my Christmas cards made out and mailed. I got my mugs decorated and now the have to sit for a few days to allow the ink to soak in before I bake them to further seal the designs. They’re cute- just a little homemade something. I’m trying not to make sweets because I know I’ll eat them.

Rain on the roof

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It’s dark, chilly and rainy this morning. I’ve been awake for a while because Mike got up with his shoulder pain again and was sitting in the living room with the heating pad on it for a while so I woke up and couldn’t go back to sleep. Then he came back in to bed but I was awake so just got up. It’s noticeably chillier today and I can hear the splatter of the rain against the window and roof. I usually am out walking Bitzi by this time but she’s sleeping now so I’ll wait in hopes of the rain letting up.    We’re going to St.Charles to see Annette later. I have things to get at the store and things to do at home. Mike has work to do first too. 9:33 I took Bitzi for a short walk with the umbrella. It’s icy rain and wind out there. Winter is here. I cleaned up some stuff. I’m starving. No pain, no gain. At least my gut never feels bloated any more, so that’s a plus.

Getting pumped up

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6:24. I’ve been up an hour. I’m subbing for an elementary general music teacher until Jan.15 when she returns from maternity leave. This morning I have five fourth grade Zoom classes back-to-back. This afternoon I have five kindergarten classes. It’s fast and furious for 30- minute classes. When we return from winter break in January the kids are set to return to school my last week working. I’m just drinking coffee now trying to mentally prepare for the day... Mike is still sleeping. I have to take Bitzi out for a little walk before I get ready to start work online. I’m just going to do my best, try to shine and enjoy the kids as much as I can. On the 19th I’m driving to Canton & Lewistown to deliver Christmas presents. That’s not so far away. I’ll live on that until I go.

Trudging through the pandemic

7:29am Sunday morning I just turned the heat up. My fingers are cold. Mike is comatose on the couch with the TV news chattering away. I’m drinking my coffee ( black with MCT oil) and getting geared up to go walk. I think Bitzi is still sleeping in her fabric igloo in her little kitchen pen. I fed and watered her but she didn’t come out of her igloo. We walked three miles yesterday- quite a lot for her tiny puppy legs. I’m wanting another shihtzu male puppy but haven’t told Mike yet. He grouches over everything. We have room for another one.  We’re going over to see Annette ( Mike’s mom) in St.Charles later this morning around ten when she’s done watching her mass service on TV. I’m leaving my mask on while we’re in her house because who knows which relatives she’s been around and I could have it and not know. I’m taking no chances.  I just ordered some gifts through Amazon to be delivered to my sister Vicki ( who is mentally and physically handicapped and 70 and lives in a group handic

Five ways to cope with life

I’m sixty one and retired. For some odd reason I thought that substitute teaching might be a fun, easy thing to keep me busy, connected and earn some extra money ( we’re remodeling our house and things add up...) so I accepted a long term elementary music sub job in a new neighboring school district. I should have listened to my intuition when I was filling out the application-they asked a crazy amount of information, background, references, a Zoom interview with five administrators....Then I had to undergo an exceptionally thorough health exam, drug screening, fingerprinting and criminal background check. At this point I just want to flipping’ forget about it but figured I’d come that far but then it was the week of Thanksgiving and everything was shit down and I didn’t hear a peep from their HR. Then on Monday Nov.30 at 7am I got a call that all my forms had cleared and they wanted me to start right away. After that it was a crazy whirlwind getting me started. They use a completely d

Keeping the ties connected

I’m thinking about the way the world is now and how people come and go from your life. When you get close to someone you form a bound or ties with them. Sometimes those ties are sturdy and tight. Sometimes those ties are just flimsy threads like spider webs that fall apart at the slightest breeze or incident. Sometimes the ties you thought were the strongest and would forever hold fast don't. They either loosen on their own or something breaks them. Sometimes you want and need to tend and tighten the knots but sometimes you undo them on your own. Right now I can feel so many ties on my heart, many of them pulling and slipping away. Sometimes you simply can’t fix them. Sometimes you just have to let things be and give it to the universe to decide.  It’s gloomy and overcast outside. I think it might snow today. I have a bunch of things to do but don’t feel like doing anything. I may go do a little shopping. A walk will help. Walks always help. Mike is off work again today because he

Unpacking Christmas

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8:07 am Saturday The sun is shining but it’s still brisk out there. I just took Bitzi for a walk to the top of the hill park across the street. Mikes Tahoe on our driveway was covered in frost. I wore my Willy pile jacket, gloves, furry hat and neck warmer. Bitzi wore her pink sparkle sweater. Bitzi has a grooming appointment at 12:30 and then we’re going over to my MIL’s in St. Charles. We had a simple quiet Thanksgiving. The roasted chicken was good. I boiled the chicken carcass yesterday and deboned it and put the broth and meat in two containers for the freezer. We cleaned up the garage yesterday and got out the Christmas decorations. I decided we would just go with our little tabletop tree this year. We gave our bigger tree and a bunch of stuff to Goodwill. We’re getting the kitchen cabinets painted this week and other work done in the kitchen. Then we’re getting new floors put in so didn’t want a bunch of Christmas stuff put up to have to move. We just have a small house now. Tod

Progress is finally being made!

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It’s the day before Thanksgiving. I’m sitting in my chair in the front room sipping on my coffee. I’m wearing gray soft  yoga pants, wool socks, slippers, a white shirt and my old comfy favorite white sweater. It’s chilly in the house and still dark outside. Mike is snoring in the bedroom. I’m trying to not wake him. I cuddled him up a little before I got out of bed, careful not to wake him. He’s always felt warm and cuddly and safe to me. When I was on deaths door lying in the hospital bed he climbed in next to me and held me. I couldn’t even talk then but it helped comfort me so much.  Yesterday we got our new kitchen counters installed. Immediately it was brighter in the kitchen with the new white quartz. I am overjoyed beyond words. Today the faucet is getting hooked up in the new sink and water turned back on. Next week Mark will start installing the crown molding, painting the cabinets, putting on new drawer pulls. After that’s done we’re getting engineered luxury vinyl flooring

My cozy nest

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12:18 pm Sunday The day is mild and overcast.I did a little housework and took the dog on two walks and had lunch. I’m not fasting today but I’m still restricting carbs. I’ll admit I am feeling kind of glum today just about a whole lot of things. The overcast sky doesn’t help but the walks and fresh air do help. We went out and ran a couple errands and then just came home and continued watching season 3 of The Crown. I was cuddled up on the couch under a soft blanket with my head on my neck pillow on Mike’s lap. It was cozy. I eventually fell asleep and so did he. Mike’s mom was sick at her stomach yesterday and said she felt like she was getting the flu. I hope she hasn’t picked up anything.  Monday 7:33 am  Yesterday I wrote letters and made out Thanksgiving cards to send to the grandkids. I had two gallon- size ziplock bags full on misc. cards that I sorted through. I got rid of a bunch that didn’t have envelopes. I put them in 4 different labeled ziplock bags so it will be easier t

The key to life

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I am a big fan of Buddha’s teachings. I’m not really invested in any particular religion but I kind of like the things Buddha said. I do not like crazy religious fanatics who try to push their stuff on you and are all or nothing inflexible. I do believe in souls, spiritual energy and a higher power. I do believe in karma and that life is an echo and a mirror of what you put out into the universe. I have made countless mistakes and suffered unbelievable pain. This is the path each human has to walk. I think we all vibrate at different frequencies. I push to raise my vibration to the next higher level. I search for enlightenment.  Yesterday Bitzi and I walked around Wildflower and Fountainview lakes. It was a nice sunny cool day and not many people were out. Lately I’ve been playing a disco hits radio station on my phone in my pocket when I walk. It keeps me moving. I don’t like wearing earbuds because then I can’t hear things around me. I got some new chunky Skechers walking shoes with

The key to life

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I am a big fan of Buddha’s teachings. I’m not really invested in any particular religion but I kind of like the things Buddha said. I do not like crazy religious fanatics who try to push their stuff on you and are all or nothing inflexible. I do believe in souls, spiritual energy and a higher power. I do believe in karma and that life is an echo and a mirror of what you put out into the universe. I have made countless mistakes and suffered unbelievable pain. This is the path each human has to walk. I think we all vibrate at different frequencies. I push to raise my vibration to the next higher level. I search for enlightenment.  Yesterday Bitzi and I walked around Wildflower and Fountainview lakes. It was a nice sunny cool day and not many people were out. Lately I’ve been playing a disco hits radio station on my phone in my pocket when I walk. It keeps me moving. I don’t like wearing earbuds because then I can’t hear things around me. I got some new chunky Skechers walking shoes with

Hunkering down

I’ve decided not to go downstate next week but just stay home and close. The reports of the virus spreading everywhere so fast are crazy. Better safe than sorry. I do not need to get sick or spread it to others. Michael has been through enough nightmarish he’ll with all my feckin cancer bullshit. I need to be smart and sensible. I’ve lost two more pounds. I’m hungry at least two or three times every day but that’s okay. I’m helping make myself healthier and strengthening my immune system. No pain no gain, I took Bitzi for a nice walk around Wildflower lake earlier. After lunch I may take her to walk around fountain view lake and behind the main lodge. We can both use more walking.

In bed

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5:50am I’ve had a good night’s sleep but I woke up early and can’t go back to sleep. It’s chilly in the bedroom but I’m cozy under the covers so don’t want to get up. I grabbed my iPad and reading glasses off the bed table and put my ear buds in and watched another episode of Greys Anatomy. Mike is laying next to me snoring gently. The wind is whooshing fiercely outside. It doesn’t seem like Thursday but then it doesn’t seem like any day in particular to me these days now with my retirement and the quarantine stuff. Such a strange unfortunate time our world is going through. I have no plans for today which is a bit weird but nice. I should make a to-do list but haven’t. The new kitchen counters, sink and faucet are being installed next Tuesday morning but I won’t be here. I’ll have to remove stuff from cabinets and take out a couple drawers. Bitzi is staying home with Mike next Monday and Tuesday. 6:42 I’m up and dressed now. I opened the blinds in the sitting room and kitchen. I fed a

How to keep going

7:59 am I’m drinking my morning coffee. I have brain fog from the Benadryl I took last night. So far it looks overcast. Mike is watching the morning news. I’m so exhausted with the constant Covid-19 coverage and whatever the latest atrocity is with out demented fucknut president and his cult of deplorables. I wish I could wash my ears and brain out with hot water and bleach to make no trace of bullshit linger. I’m worried / upset with a couple of my family members. I’ve experienced this before. There’s nothing that I can do so I’ll leave it alone and stay silent. I’ll pack up my feelings and push myself forward through the emotional storm. I HAVE to keep moving forward. I HAVE to stay positive. Mike says I’m not tough enough. I’m tough in my own way. I just care and worry deeply. I have to put Sensitive Suzy back in the box and move on. Today I’ll be rereading positive affirmations, counting my blessings, walking and swimming. As of this Friday our lodge pool will be closed due to Covi

Chilly in da house

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6:17am For some reason I woke up and couldn’t go back to sleep. It’s chilly in the house and I have a blanket on my lap. Still cold. I just got up and got my coffee that just finished brewing and put on my long pink fuzzy robe. That should help. Mike just got up and turned the heat on.unless I have my reading glasses and a flashlight I can’t read the controls on the thermostat. I’ve been offered the long term elementary music sub job for D300 that lasts from as soon as I can get my forms in until Jan.15. It would be all online. They don’t pay as well as U-46 though. I told the lady from HR I’d tell her yes or no by noon Monday.  Mike is putting me on his group insurance Jan.1 to save money but I verified I can go back on the teachers’ retirement insurance if he retires or gets laid off. He’ll be 62 on Monday. We have to stop at the bank this morning and get cash for the gift card and for my fingerprinting at the Kane ROE ( for D300) and go to St.Charles and pick up Annette then go to G

Trump refuses to concede: Didn’t we all know this would happen?

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9:23 am I just got back from a walk with Bitzi. It’s sunny, warm with a mild breeze. In a bit I will sign in to a Zoom meeting to sub for a friend of mine who teaches elementary PE in one of my old schools. There will only be four forty-minute classes- 2 third and 2 fourth but I still get paid for a full day. Sweet. Plus the lessons are already loaded online for the kids. Double sweet. I got my first sub offer from Huntley school district this morning for preschool but it started at 7:25 and by the time I got up and saw it it was too late. I’m not familiar with the Huntley schools at all but I’m sure I will be in time.  I knew this bullshit was going to happen with Trump and I knew that he and his cult would promote and encourage his deplorable to protest and riot and be assholes. I knew it a long time ago. Just AWFUL. 10:52am So NOW I'm waiting to log in to the Zoom class but the principal can't let me in because the absent PE teacher didn't add her correctly so she can

Some days you just float on your back and let the current take you.

It’s mid morning. I have to take Bitzi to the groomer in a little while. She’s shaggy and needs her nails and but hair trimmed. She’s had some loosey goosey stuff going on the last couple days so I’m feeding her a bland food from the vet ( very expensive). She’s pretty bad about eating anything she comes across inside and outside. I don’t know if she ate something bad or what. I’ll have to take her to the vet if it doesn’t clear up.  I enjoyed subbing yesterday. I went in to the school but my only duties were overseeing kids completing assigned work via a 3- hour Zoom meeting. I have a 2-day similar job for PE that I’ll do from home Thursday and Friday.  The estimate for the flooring came back really high so I’m not even sure I want to do it now. The floors we currently have are in good shape and fine for what we need. I’m more concerned with updating the kitchen.  I’m feeling kind of emotionally numb today about various ongoing family issues. I’m trying not to worry. I’m trying to sta