It’s Sunday and it snowed a bit. I’ve been out for a couple walks in the slush. I’m not feeling as angst filled today but I haven’t heard from my kids. I have a slight sinus headache and took two Advil cold and sinus tablets. I haven’t taken any of those for months. I flushed my sinuses and rubbed some Vics vaporub up in my nostrils. Hey, whatever it takes. I’ve been re-watching The Office on the Peacock app. Pretty good stuff.
Sunday, January 17
Wednesday, January 13
Today President Trump was impeached for the second time. I don't give a shit about that I just want the SOB out and the never hold office again. His presidency has been a nightmarish train wreck clusterfuck. He made some bullshit speech this afternoon-too little too late. Didn't admit responsibility for anything.
He needs to be shut up and locked up and his cult followers too.
There's some upsetting family issues going on and I've been gone for a couple days. My heart is heavy and I feel vexed with worry but there's nothing I can do. Things need to fix themselves. I've been for several walks today. I made spaghetti sauce. I've fudged on my diet many days. I need to get my head out of my ass, snap out of it and get back on track.
Friday, January 8
I cannot wrap my head around what’s going on in the United States of America. I can’t remember a time of unrest and volatile political divisiveness as we have now. The current president is a monster with a cult. Despite his most recent announcement declaring he accepts the election results and wishes for a smooth transfer of power I absolutely know that’s a lie and he’s planning to incite more violence. He is a cult leader.
I’ve decided that I’m not working again until a couple weeks after I’ve taken both doses of the COVID-19 vaccine. Until then I’ll keep my ass at home and away from people. I’m an introvert and hermit anyway.
I took the dog up to the main lodge where it’s mostly shoveled and pretty cleared and we walked up and down the full length and back through the parking lots to my car. Yesterday I walked her around fountain view lake but the sidewalks aren’t very cleared and I slipped pretty bad once ( didn’t fall down) so mostly walked in the snow the rest of the time. Bitzi, at 6 pounds, mostly just skitters across the snow.
I have laundry going and I’m getting ready to go to SuperWalmart here in Huntley. I’m going to make split pea and ham soup. Mike asked for it.
Wednesday, December 16
5:58am I’m up early again because of work. I like to rise early, get myself dressed, drink my coffee, read my news and emails and get myself set. Before I start teaching at 8 I have to take the dog out for her walk and log on the my laptop and get everything set up. It’s still difficult for me with all these classes being back to back. You have to hustle. I use a kitchen timer to keep track of time. I have two more weeks in January for this job. The first week I have to go in to the school for meetings and to teach remotely, the second week to teach in person ( some students returning) while teaching online ( some students still from home). It’s going to be nuts but it will only be 5 days...... SO we shall see...I’m not going to worry about it now. I’ll do my best. Things always work out.
Mike is still sound asleep in the bedroom. The door is open so I can hear his bear noises. The sunrise is an hour away. I like my morning time to myself. On mornings when Mike does get up early and comes out here and sits on the couch in the living room and falls back asleep with the morning news on I feel somewhat invaded. We have been cooped up in this house together for months now. Alone time is valuable. I’m going to take a drive next week. And now I’ve jinxed myself and Mike is up watching news. Oh well.... today is garbage day and he has a mission 🤪.
We have nothing planned for Christmas- not going anywhere, not having anyone one, just staying home and safe. This is our cozy nest. Before long the world will open up and things will go back to some version of normal. We’ll have a new president and Vice President and new administration. More people will be getting vaccinated for the virus. Things will improve in 2021. I have faith.
I am continuing to slowly lose weight but I’m not walking as much now that I’m working online. I’m going to try to do two longer walks today. Bitzi loves her walks. They’re good for both of us.
All four of my children have things going on that concern me but they’re adults and I can’t help. They have to do it themselves. Some times that can be the hardest thing for me to do- stay out of it. Mike’s son and his wife are having their first baby the end of January. The baby boy has some kind of congenital disorder called C-PAM and has a small mass in his chest near the heart and left lung. The mass is shrinking but the baby will need surgery some time soon after birth. It’s good that it’s shrinking and not hampering the baby’s growth. Still that’s a concerning situation until he’s here and gets it fixed. There’s always something going on with a big family.
I still don’t have the presents I’ve bought sorted and bagged. I need to do that. I also need to do an hour or more of school work tonight for Friday and over the break.
2:15pm I’m done with all my classes. I feel wrung out now like a used dish rag.
Tuesday, December 15
I’m lying on the couch in my pajamas. It’s been a pretty good day. I am sincerely grateful for my blessings. There are issues going on with family. I am trying to stay out of things and not worry. I’m trying to trust the universe to take care of things. I have to have faith. I am not the fixer for the world. Things will go as they’re supposed to go. I will take care of my own business. I have to trust.
Monday, December 14
I’ve been up for over an hour. It’s 6:46 now. In a few minutes I have to take Bitzi out for a walk so I can get ready to sign on the Zoom and start teaching. I have fourth graders this morning and ( I think) first graders after the brief break- fast and furious. I don’t like the limited hours of daylight in the winter but it is what it is.in another week the days will start getting a little longer so there’s that hope.
The electors cast their votes today. I hope and pray it goes smoothly and there’s no bullshit or violence. There’s no telling what shit the predator in chief and his cult of lunatics will try to pull off.
Yesterday I got all my Christmas cards made out and mailed. I got my mugs decorated and now the have to sit for a few days to allow the ink to soak in before I bake them to further seal the designs. They’re cute- just a little homemade something. I’m trying not to make sweets because I know I’ll eat them.
Wednesday, November 25
It’s the day before Thanksgiving. I’m sitting in my chair in the front room sipping on my coffee. I’m wearing gray soft yoga pants, wool socks, slippers, a white shirt and my old comfy favorite white sweater. It’s chilly in the house and still dark outside. Mike is snoring in the bedroom. I’m trying to not wake him. I cuddled him up a little before I got out of bed, careful not to wake him. He’s always felt warm and cuddly and safe to me. When I was on deaths door lying in the hospital bed he climbed in next to me and held me. I couldn’t even talk then but it helped comfort me so much.
Yesterday we got our new kitchen counters installed. Immediately it was brighter in the kitchen with the new white quartz. I am overjoyed beyond words. Today the faucet is getting hooked up in the new sink and water turned back on. Next week Mark will start installing the crown molding, painting the cabinets, putting on new drawer pulls. After that’s done we’re getting engineered luxury vinyl flooring installed and redoing all the doors and trim. It’s gonna take a while but it will be worth it for the updated look.
Yesterday I had some gut issues and felt tired. We had some snow and sleet and I only took Bitzi out for a couple short walks. I just didn’t feel like it.
So we’re finally making progress on our house. There is a corona virus vaccine on the horizon coming. The current president’s administration is starting to facilitate the transfer of power. Praise be! The sun is coming out. There is hope. Tomorrow is another day.
I took Bitzi to the Tall Oaks park across the street just down. It’s misty damp and foggy but not freezing.it’s doable. We’ll go for longer walks later. We didn’t get much exercise yesterday. I’m lucky that the park is right across the street for us.
Recently I have unfollowed, blocked, snoozed and unfriendly a whole bunch of people and groups on social media. I’m done with all the political angst and bullshit. I don’t want to see it. I don’t want to get sucked in. I just plain don’t want the drama. I still have a few things I follow but I only want to intentionally consume good, positive, healthy things. I don’t want the other shit polluting my mind and emotions. I want to keep my mind sacred and calm.
Mark Aminsen is here now installing the faucet. Mike has an issue with the countertop installation and called the company. He has an issue with the seam not being smooth enough and a place in the caulking. Mark will be back next week for the cabinet work. It’s pouring rain now and getting noticeably colder. I just did some tidying up in my bathroom and bedroom. I’m constantly purging things.
I’m starving. I didn’t fast correctly yesterday and went slightly over my low carb limit. I’m not a Nazi. I do my best.
Monday, October 26
It’s early morning. I got my rooster crow alarm to finally work. Sub finder called me twice. I’m tending the spaniels this week so not taking any sub jobs. I may try taking my first one next week. I am done submitting all my stuff in order to sub for Huntley school district but the lady in charge of the subs who actually enters you in the system is now quarantined at home due to exposure to Covid. Bitzi’s pet groomer is closed down this week due to two of the groomers testing positive. Our mechanic and his daughter just had it. Annette’s sister and brother-in-law died from it. Restaurants & bars indoor seating is now shut down again because of the virus surge. I’m trying not to freak out but am trying extra hard to be careful when we do go out. Even though all my other blood tests are fine and normal I still produce hardly any immunoglobulins in my blood so I have almost no fighter guys to fight off viruses. So I need to be careful.
I have four alarms set on my phone and IPad to remind me to go tend the spaniels. I’ve overslept or gone late a few times. Four more days to go and then the owners return from Myrtle Beach.
My oldest daughter is 38 today. I’ll call her later. I emailed her an Amazon birthday card gift card but don’t know if she got it.I have a 10:45 pool time scheduled this morning. They are actually allowing us to change in the locker rooms now after the one hour time slot. All summer they didn’t allow us in the locker room and we had to just towel off and leave. I put a big beach towel on the seat of my car to drive home. They’re still not allowing us to use the showers though. They still have the big hot tub drained and won’t let us use the sauna. At least we can use the pool though. I bought my own foam dumbbells to use as they don’t allow us to use theirs anymore. I have to go to the store today to get some keto foods.
Thursday, October 22
9:29am I’m going to attempt to go early vote in a few minutes. I went over and tended the two Tibetan spaniels then came home and fed Bitzi and took her out for a long walk. I haven’t eaten since before 6pm last night and that meal was a chicken breast and broccoli. I’m fasting until noon. Well I am having some black coffee.
It’s chilly, damp and rainy today. Good Halloween weather.
Since the painting is done Mike has his office set up in the spare bedroom which was just painted the prettiest shade of pale yellow. He doesn’t like it as well in there and says it’s not as sound proof as the back office. I put most of my stuff back in the office but did manage to thin out some more stuff. It’s hard to part with all my band teacher stuff and instruments I’ve acquired over the years. I’ve gotten rid of a lot but I still have two good student clarinets and a flute that need to go to some deserving soul. Anyway I told Mike to move his set up back in the real office if he wants. I don’t use it that much anyway but he needs a quiet office most days.
I voted at a mobile unit in the parking lot of the Huntley Jewel grocery store. There was no line or wait! I’ve been hearing of people waiting in long lines to vote.Sweet!
I’m going to go organize my crap in the back office. I just kind of dumped the stuff back in there when the painting was done. It’s kind of a mess. I got my plant situation fixed in our bedroom. I have a lot of potted plants that live outside in the summer. In the fall I bring them inside and put them by the windows in our bedroom. I had a bunch of small folding tables in there holding the plants. I moved all the folding tables out and put my glass shelf unit and an antique table by the windows and put the plants on them. It looks a lot neater. Space is everything in this small house!
I’m trying to be more patient and understanding of others. I am trying to always deal with others with kindness and respect. This is a very harsh, divided country right now. I remind myself that people often have some underlying problem I don’t know about that can make them come off as f-ing assholes. I often don’t know what their story is. I remind myself to have patience, kindness, forgiveness and love in my heart. That’s what I would like others to show me. Life is an echo. Whatever energy you put out will come back to you in some way. I hope that one day I can reach enlightenment (or sumthin’ close to it.)
I just got Mike to take a break from work and run over and vote. It was quick and he didn’t have to wait and got back to work.
2:05 I just finished organizing my stuff in the back office and told Mike he can move his set up from the guest bedroom back in there if he wants. The back office is more private and quiet for his Zoom meetings and conference calls. It looks much neater and brighter with fresh paint and a bunch of stuff gone!
Watching the presidential debate🙄. Ugh
SO now we are NOT taking Mike's mom to Wisconsin. Too much risk with the virus surging. Thank God. He sat next to me a few minutes ago and talked her out of it on the phone. I'm so relieved. I was dreading it. I'm going over to her house tomorrow to put drops in her dogs ears.
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