I took Bitzi for a nice brisk walk this morning. It was pretty chilly in the wind on the park trail. I had my puffer winter coat on, gloves, stretchy ear flap hat with my coat hood up and it was still abrasively cold out there. But we survived!
Saturday, February 17
I haven’t posted in a while. There is some family drama going on I’m trying to ignore and let the universe work it out. I am not in charge of worrying about and fixing every thing and every one. Just let it be, stay in your lane and focus on your own path. If someone calls for help so be it but otherwise don’t stick your nose in. Leave it be. Yes I have a burr under my saddle blanket but I’m going to ignore it and let it go away on its own.
Wednesday, February 7
Good morning. I’ve been awake a couple hours. It’s 4:56 am now. I couldn’t sleep. I go up so as not to disturb Michael. It’s not uncommon for me to wake up like this. I’m an early to bed early to rise person. I like the stillness of the house in these early mornings. I relish my alone time. It’s strange being at this stage of life, knowing so many people who have died now, so many others struggling with health and cognitive issues, so many joint replacements and transplants. It feels like I’ve arrived on a new level, a new planet where there are all these different issues with aging and mortality. On our little street here this year a couple neighbors died, one is moving to an extended care facility, two others have been in the hospital, another has a full-time caregiver. All the other neighbors have cleaning services that come in. We’re still doing our own house cleaning and snow removal.
Today is garbage day. We already got stuff gathered up yesterday. There were boxes and papers from the new TV soundbar and fireplace mantel that had to be thrown away, stuff from the fridge and a bunch of other stuff. It’s always good to get rid of stuff and clear out the clutter. We have been sorting through so much stuff at Mike’s mom’s house and there still are a few things remaining although the whole team of his family have been working at it for six weeks now. Mike is still dealing with the bills and tax issues of it. Life is about constant tending and shedding things you no longer need. That’s just the way it is.
I have things of my own I need to shed. Excess baggage weighs you down. I’ve been walking quite a bit the last couple days but I need to ramp it up with weights and some exercises. I need to be leaner and stronger. I feel like a big pillowy dumpling. I need to be smarter about being healthier. I’m having some heart / lung issues. Soon I’ll be out working in the yard again so that’s good. At least the weather has cooperated the last few days and I’ve been able to walk comfortably. Thank goodness for
Whose woods these are I think I know.
His house is in the village though;
He will not see me stopping here
To watch his woods fill up with snow.
My little horse must think it queer
To stop without a farmhouse near
Between the woods and frozen lake
The darkest evening of the year.
He gives his harness bells a shake
To ask if there is some mistake.
The only other sound's the sweep
Of easy wind and downy flake.
The woods are lovely, dark and deep.
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep.
It always seems to me this time of year is moody, sullen and gloomy. We have days on end of overcast skies. There is always a lot of sickness going around. People with SAD are hold up in their houses being pissy. No wonder so many people leave this climate during these months. NEXT year I will be one of them! Until then I just have to make my own sunshine and rainbows!🌈
I need to clean out my horrible messy old sewing basket today and also sort through my crochet bag. I need to get my instruments out and play them. I’m absolutely positive they’re pissed off at me for being stored on the shelf in the closet. I need to book the Tampa flights. Mike has been going to do it for weeks and I’m sick of him forgetting. I’ll just do it. I need to start planning out my yard plantings for spring. Things to keep me busy as idle hands are the devil’s playthings!
Sunday, February 4
It’s Saturday morning. I’m having decaf coffee. Shortly I’ll get dressed and take Bitzi for a walk. Around 9 Mike and I are driving down to Utica to meet my sister and brother-in-law for brunch. I haven’t seen them for a while so it will be good to catch up. My brother-in- law has been doing home dialysis for a couple months. He’s on the list for a kidney transplant. My niece has been going through the testing to get approved to donate one of her kidneys but it’s a long process.
Friday, January 26
I’m alone in the living room on the couch with a blanket and Bitzi, my dog, on my lap. I still have my pajamas and wool socks on. I’m waiting about 20 minutes more before I make my coffee. I’m supposed to wait an hour after taking my thyroid pill before having anything except water. My thyroid needs all the help it can get so I try to take my pill as directed.
One of the guys I was in band, chorus and swing choir with in high school died suddenly 2 days ago. I hadn’t seen him in years and years but had kept up on his life through Facebook and other friends. What a sweet, kind, faithful, talented guy. I’m so sorry to hear the sad news, sorry for his family and close friends. It makes me think about life and how in an instant your life can be over. We just spent months dealing with Mike’s mom’s physical and cognitive decline. The last 2 weeks were just awful and ever since December 4 when she died all the aftermath stuff of the services, going through all her stuff and bills, etc….. We’re still doing it and taking care of things. And now we’ve entered the gloomy overcast bucket of suck season so that all adds to my gloom and despair.😩
Wednesday, January 17
Good morning universe. It’s still unpleasantly cold outside. Shortly I’ll go to the lodge and do my exercise routine. I’ve been going every day lately. I need the cardio for my heart health. I’ve been slacking off the past few months so trying to get back at it. I’m so grateful to still be alive and need to do all I can to be healthier. God has given me this enormous blessing and I need to cherish it.
Saturday, January 6
I love mornings. Mornings are some of life’s most wonderful pleasures. Just the fact to wake up and be given another day, another chance, another blessing. Each day is filled with possibilities. You have to be able to see the miracles in all things. You have to be able to suck all the juice out of the life you’ve been gifted. You have to wake up and smell the coffee and connect with the universe and your spirit ancestors and angel guides. Count your blessings, not your sorrows.
It’s 5:56am and I’ve been awake since about 4. As usual I tried to go back to sleep after I used the bathroom but I just couldn’t fall back asleep so I got up so I wouldn’t disturb Michael. He fell on black ice Thursday morning walking the dog. Although he never tells, me I knew he was sore yesterday. Falling when you’re older is much more serious than when you’re a kid. Last night we got some snow and the temperature has dropped so it seems like winter has finally arrived after so much mild weather lately.
The remodeled kitchen is looking much better than before. We still have to get the walls painted. Pete, the carpenter, installed a new electric fireplace and moved our wall- mounted TV up on the new panel he installed on the living room wall. We’re getting a new mantle next week. It looks really good. We brought a few things home from Mike’s mom’s house and have been rearranging furniture accordingly. We went and looked at a house for sale in our neighborhood the other day. It’s the same model as ours but has an extra bedroom and bathroom in the finished basement and it is on a quiet Culver’s-de-sac sitting on the edge of the golf course. It has NO updates at all. It had all the original 1999 carpeting and appliances and laminate counters. The kitchen had wood floors that needed refinished and cabinets needing replaced.We decided that we’ve done WAY too many updates to our current house to start over so we’re just going to continue improving this one to suit our needs.
In the last few months I’ve gotten my shingles, Covid, flu and RSV vaccines. I got an immunoglobulin infusion at Loyola in November and December. I get another one on the 18th then 3 more until April when I go back to see my oncologist. I haven’t been subbing. I’m trying to limit my exposure to crowds (and humans in general…) in an attempt to be healthier. I need to ramp up my exercise and nutrition and be more consistent. I can always do short intense bursts of about anything but it’s the long haul stuff that’s the real challenge and true test of real change and improvement. Am I tough enough and mean enough? Can I switch in to full “ Rocky” mode? Tuesday I go for my annual check up with my family doctor (I already had the labs and they’re good). I seem to be getting more high maintenance!