Showing posts with label #blogging. Show all posts
Showing posts with label #blogging. Show all posts

Saturday, July 24

The waiting is the hardest part

It’s Saturday. I just got up, opened the window shades, made myself a cup of bold-roast coffee with French vanilla cream, sat down and Bitzi came over for her morning cuddles and massage. Now she’s curled up on my lap. Mike has his ongoing shoulder pain happening and he’s sitting on the living room couch with the electric massager on his shoulder.massager Yesterday I went to the first meeting of our garden club smaller buddy group. The Sun City garden club has about 325 members so there are smaller subgroups ( buddy groups) within. The new members formed a buddy group and yesterday was our first meeting at the organizer’s house. The house was surprisingly beautiful and professionally done. It was SO nice I was kind of uncomfortable but the meeting went fine and we planned some things for the next few months.

This morning we’re going over to Glen Ellyn for a little birthday celebration for my daughter-in-law. We have to go pick up my mother-in-law in St.Charles and take her home. Her behavior, mood swings and inappropriate outbursts are escalating…..She regularly mentions dying now, although all her recent medical tests were perfect.

I haven’t heard a peep from my lawyers regarding the RoundUp mediation / settlement in nearly 8 weeks now. The two emails I have sent have gone unanswered. I don’t know what is going on but I’m assuming my case died on the vine. Whatever. 



Sarah is supposed to drive up here with the boys tomorrow afternoon or early Monday. Since she has to work tomorrow 6-2 I’m hoping she comes Monday morning after she’s slept and rested. That’s a long drive with three boys when you’re already tired. 

🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻

I just took Bitzi for a short walk to pee. The air is thick and very humid already. Ugh I hate when my face sweats! None of the neighbors are out stirring. Not many are early risers around here, just the way I like it.

Thursday, July 22

Gumption

The past few weeks have been overcast with a few days sunny as the exception. Today it’s hazy again. We slept late and now I’m going to take Hennessy to get her school supplies. 


5:23 We got Hennessy’s school supplies and a few other things. I sent out a few emails and rearranged some furniture and cleaned up my bathroom and watered my flowers. I went to the first meeting / rehearsal of the small chorus. It was kind of frustrating and corny but I liked it. I also went to the chiropractor again. I have a routine of exercises I do and then he adjusts me and I sit in the traction chair with my neck laying back for a while. When I got home Mike and Hennessy had gotten all her stuff bagged up for our drive to take her back tomorrow. That was a big help! 


A few months ago I started using Tailwind and it seems that just recently it’s starting to kick in because I’m getting a lot more views on this blog!

I’m going to start practicing more seriously and diligently and I’m also going to start using the weight machines at the lodge several times a week. I’ve been in a cloudy funk too long and I’m snapping myself out of it. I’m going to gather up all the gumption inside me to just do it. 

Wednesday, July 21








Delta Dawn

5:48 7/21

I’m awake and sipping coffee in the morning silence I love. There’s a pure, serene freshness about early morning. We’ve had a good time here the last couple days but I’m ready to go home and get my little Bitzi back in my arms. 













Tomorrow I’ll pack up Hennessy’s stuff and clean up the bedroom for Sarah and the boys when they arrive on Sunday. The three boys together are way more to manage than Hennessy has been but their mama is coming. God help her driving up with them. Milo is 11 so he should be a help. Sarah is expecting another baby. The baby planned itself (like all my babies did.) Sometimes life gives you unexpected blessings. We’ll go swimming at the Sun City pool, to the water park in Huntley, fishing, to the new library, maybe to the trampoline park….






3:03pm We’ve been home since about 10:30. Bitzi was so happy to see us! We unpacked, I did three loads of laundry, watered my flowers outside, planted two hostas from Lake Geneva, inflated my new purple exercise ball. I’m going to the chiropractor in a little while then we’re going to the Chinese buffet / hibachi/ sushi place in DeKalb. I’m tired.
China House

Tuesday, July 20

Cocoon

Good morning all. It’s 8:14am. Mike and Hennessy are still sleeping. I planned to take Henna back to the waterpark at 9 when they open today for an hour or so. Tomorrow morning we go home so I want to try to get all the fun stuff in today. There are still two more pools left at this resort that Henna hasn’t been in yet. Her swimming has already improved so much since Monday. She’s a fearless little commando. 
I bought Sarah’s boys Lake Geneva T-shirts yesterday. I’m pretty sure they’ll fit.




















7:58pm Hennessy and I went to the waterpark for a couple hours. We floated on the lazy River a couple different times and went down a water slide. Henna went down slides a ton of times. After that we came back to our room and changed and went shopping at a couple stores. We went swimming in the outdoor pool down the parking lot from our room for about 90 minutes then to another store, then to dinner. I’m super tired now. We’re going home tomorrow and will pick up Bitzi from the kennel along the way. I have chiro appointments Wednesday and Thursday and meetings to attend. Friday morning we’re driving Hennessy back to meet her mom in Wenona so she can take her the rest of the way home to Norris. Sarah and the three boys ( Milo 11, Oscar 8 1/2 and Arlo 4)are coming up Sunday through Wednesday. It will be so good to spend time with them.

My son will be 37 tomorrow 



I have joined too many clubs and groups at Sun City. I’ve taken the last week off for family and next week too. Many of the residents have nothing to do so want to give me shit when I don’t show up. I have a life and a family. Sometimes I feel like curling up into a cocoon and being alone for a long time. I have too many irons in the fire - or it just feels like it sometimes.

Mikes mother is worrying people again. She has angry depressive mood swings and complains she’s deathly exhausted all the time but seems to have energy for certain things. There has to be something that can help her but I don’t know what it is. Her incident that sent her to the ER last week was transient global amnesia. She had it once before around 8-10 years ago - scary  freaky stuff.

I’m going to buckle down and start pushing myself a lot harder. I don’t do very well just floating around in easy mooshy mode. I need a hard core boot camp gear. I like sweat and intensity. 


Monday, July 19

Morning peace

It’s early morning and I’m the only one awake. I made myself a pot of coffee. It’s so still and silent now, I love it. 


We got here to the resort yesterday around 1:30 and drove around a bit until our rooms were ready. We had Holiday Inn Club timeshare points built up from the pandemic that had to be used so I booked 2 different stays at the Grand Geneva resort here in Lake Geneva in July .


Mike and I were here 2 weeks ago with his son Casey and wife Jackie & baby Aiden. It rained both days then and it was sucky. Now we’re here again with Hennessy for 3 nights and it’s supposed to be sunny and hot. 



Yesterday we went to the fish oil place and swam. Hennessy has the whole adjoining unit to herself. We left the door open. I helped her rinse her hair out and apply conditioner after the pool. I helped her put her clothes in the drawer in her own bedroom dresser. I went in and tucked her in bed last night. She was exhausted after swimming.



I’m not sure what we’re going to do today. We may go to the waterpark or drive to OshKosh or go shopping here in downtown Lake Geneva. My lower back has been flaring up again. Due to the Annette emergency situation last week I canceled my chiro appointment. This week I have one this week on Wednesday and Thursday so hoping to resume my progress. 



Our ground floor condo unit here is pretty nice and one of the resort’s 2 golf courses is directly behind this building so from our little patio you can walk right out onto the golf course. The views are beautiful. 











I am a comfort / stress eater. The past several months with all the family fighting, drama and angst have triggered me to medicate my anxieties with comfort and junk for so now I’m not feeling nearly as good as I had been and it’s exactly by falling off my exercise and healthy eating routine. 


I seriously considered a few times going back to counseling but just ended up using strategies I’ve learned in the past. Somehow the diet and exercise didn’t get incorporated in that. 


I took the teaching jobs in April, May and June for the inflated pay rate offered but also to keep my mind off worrying about my kids. That, then, was my excuse to not exercise or “ have the time” to prepare healthy meals or plan them. It was like shooting my own foot.


Thursday I have a first rehearsal for the small chorus ( a “ select” subset) of the full Sun City Chorus. Friday I have a meeting of the new 15 members of the 325- member Sun City Garden Club. We’re forming our own “buddy group” subgroup. There are many existing buddy groups. Since we’re new members we’re starting our own group. 

I haven’t been going to Wednesday afternoon Concert Band rehearsals since the wreck June 17. I had whiplash & concussion and then caught some virus at school. The last couple weeks I’ve had family things going on. 

2016 after the stem cell transplant -driving again after many months 



I’ve also been asked to join the smaller 16- member dance band. The leader wants me to play alto & clarinet. I haven’t been practicing lately. I have a hard time getting motivated plus I have a small house plus Mike is working during the days with frequent Zoom meetings. Plus I just plain don’t SEE well to be about to see the printed music. SOOO






Going to the waterpark.









And that’s all folks. Peace out.





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5:15pm

We went to the waterpark for a couple hours and came back to the room and changed and then went to Nextdoor Pub for lunch. After that we went shopping in the downtown and walked down by the lake and got an ice cream cone. Now we’re going swimming in the pool near our room.

I have got to get myself in gear and snap out of this draggy funky I’ve been in. I have to stop out my negative self- defeating habits. I am SO much better than this!!!!


Sunday, July 18

Second surge





Fitzgerald’s Fish Boil

Tomorrow we’re probably taking Hennessy to the waterpark here.  She’ll love that. We thought about taking a lake cruise but Hennessy and I just took one Tuesday with my neighborhood ladies and it’s fairly expensive. 


Timberridge Water Park

The last couple weeks I’ve been reading and watching TV news about the growing numbers of hospitalizations due to Covid-19. The Delta variant is spreading quickly and I fear we may go back to masks and quarantine! How to avoid the Delta variant  It’s being called the “second surge.”

 It would be heartbreaking to return to quarantine phase. I couldn’t possibly take that again. I’m already so close to losing it as it is. All those people who refused to get vaccinated are now being stricken with the new wave. Oops.
  1. Get your vaccines
  2. Keep your distance
  3. Wash your hands
  4. Cover ( or just shut) your mouth
  5. STAY HOME if you’re sick
  6. READ newspapers. Pay attention to what’s going on!















Thursday, July 15

Owl

5:37 am

I’ve been up for a couple hours. I can’t shut my brain down and go back to sleep. Mike and Hennessy and Bitzi are sleeping. 



Mike’s mom is home from the hospital and Mike’s sister Nancy stayed with her last night and the night before. All her hospital tests came back normal. Her vitals were fine. I don’t know if her symptoms were brought on by acute depression and anxiety or what. In the last couple days she has told people “ I think I’m going to die today.” Everyone is worried and frustrated. We were going to go see her last night but there were other relatives there and she was exhausted. I think she’s starved for attention and shouldn’t be living alone but she’s not my mother. One of the two neighbor ladies who rode with me and Hennessy Tuesday to Lake Geneva has memory loss and seemingly beginning dementia. I didn’t really know her very well when she asked if she could ride with me. I’ve chatted very briefly with her at our monthly neighbor ladies lunches. But her sitting next to me in the front seat for 30 minutes up there and back made it clear she has significant memory issues. She kept asking me the same questions over and over and saying other oddball things. Then we walked around to a couple stores together before the lunch cruise. I’ve had significant brain issues in the past due to my brain lymphoma. This stuff lately is just scary and has stirred up a bunch of anxiety and fear in me. I tell myself everything happens for a reason. It’s supposed to thunderstorm all day today.






In a few weeks Mike and I will have been married 22 years and together for 24 years. We’ve gone through a lot of hard times and stress, illness and drama. He says I’m grouchy all the time and never smile. I think exactly the same about him. I guess I’ve allowed life to grind me down. I feel ground down. This last year has been awful with all the family drama and worry. I feel like Mike and I never have any fun anymore. We’re just tending our duties and going through the motions like coworkers. 



My daughter Sarah left her husband last October. Good riddance - never liked him anyway. Her ex is being a real total asshole and isn’t giving her any child support. It’s been enough of a heartache for her losing her dad and the screwed up will and LLC. Will all this crap EVER end?



Tomorrow morning at 8:30 neighbors ( about 8 of them) are coming here to meet for the third time planning our annual neighborhood picnic in August. We have 114 people coming to the picnic. People have been dropping checks in a box on my front porch for a month. Next summer when my 2 years are up being a neighborhood rep I’m not doing it again. Too much bullshit to put up with for no pay. 


The waiting is the hardest part

It’s Saturday. I just got up, opened the window shades, made myself a cup of bold-roast coffee with French vanilla cream, sat down and Bitzi...