Wednesday’s child is full of woe

It’s 7:18am on Wednesday. Wednesday is trash day. We’ve gathered all the trash and recycling and taken the cans out to the curb. I’m drinking hot chocolate. Later today I’m supposed to go to a neighbor ladies lunch. I don’t feel like going.

The situation with Mike’s mother has gotten much worse. I don’t know how she is hanging on and still alive. When we went over there Monday the situation was so grim. She can’t use the left side of her body. She can’t lift her head. She can barely speak a whispery word or two. Her face is all sunken in. She looks way worse than my mother did when she died. It brings back all these horrible memories for me. Annette is in no pain at all. I couldn’t go over there yesterday. Mike went without me. I pray she passes over soon. It’s so terribly sad. It’s like some huge death cloud hanging over. 

Patience is a virtue

The situation in our home is strained due to my mother-in-law’s illness, hospice care, Mike being gone much more than normal, people constantly calling and texting him. This has been going on for many months and snowballing bigger and bigger. I’m trying to be helpful and supportive but staying out of the way. There’s a huge stream of people going to visit her the last several days. It’s too much for her weakened condition but it’s not my deal. 

Sleet

I took a couple containers of beef & barley soup out of the freezer and have it warming on the stove in a big pot. It’s about 3:30 in the afternoon. I can hear the wind whistling and the sleet hitting the front window. I was supposed to sub today but canceled it last night after hearing the predicted ice storm on the news. I’m subbing at a different school tomorrow but the weather should be better. 

Better

I’m feeling somewhat better today. I’ve even exercised a few times and used my nebulizer twice. I’m feeling a bit more energetic and perkier. Mike made me a PB& J+ banana sandwich for lunch. It was good!

We watched the state of the union speech the other night. I thought it was very good. Some of those nut job republicans shouldn’t even be allowed in there! Crazy, trashy people. 

I’ve been reading some poetry. Good for the soul. I’m going to take the dog out for a good walk. 

Fair weather Friends

It’s Saturday morning. I had a great night’s sleep and made a couple waffles with the end of the mix in the Bisquick box. When they were done I sprinkled the three waffles with a little powdered sugar. On my small waffle I put peanut butter, some mixed berries and a drizzle of syrup. It was perfect with my coffee. I tidied up the house a bit and then took Bitzi on a 1.7 mile brisk walk. Being January in northern Illinois, it’s pretty cold out. I wore a heavier coat with a separate hat, my gloves and my fuzzy hood up most of the time but started sweating after about 20 minutes and took my hood off for a while but then put it back on at the end. Bitzi is so small but she does okay on our walks. She has lots of energy!  She of course wants to stop and sniff and do her mini pees a million times. She has really helped get me walking more though. Dog walking, the heart attack and cardiac rehab have really got me much more physically active. 

I have four more sessions  to go and then I “graduate” from cardiac rehab. It’s been a very good experience. It’s a bit embarrassing that it took a friggin heart attack to wake me up and get me moving toward a healthier lifestyle but now I’m very grateful to be doing better and feeling better. The daily vigorous ( aka panting hard and sweating)  exercise is really improving my life.  I don’t know it for a fact but I feel like my immune system is getting stronger too. I’m amazed that Mike just got over covid and I didn’t get it being right here in the house with him. Normally I catch everything.

This is the time of year I like the least due to the prolonged days of dreary, overcast skies. I think of it as the “bucket of suck” season from mid January until the end of March. YUCK. I don’t really mind the cold or snow, just the gloomy skies. I still try to spend time outside in the fresh air every day. I have a lot of houseplants to tend, that gives me some sense of nature and growing. 

I just lost a lot of my text. This stupid keyboard is driving me crazy with it's jumping all over. Gaaaaaaah! 

122822

Is 4:22. I’ve been awake since about 3 and couldn’t get back to sleep. For some reason I’m ache-y all over. Yesterday I left home early with Hennessy and drove her down to Norris, picked up Argo, Oscar and Milo and drove back home. As soon as we got here we got our stuff and headed to the pool for 45 minutes until the end of family swim time. I sent the boys to bed around 10 and I went to bed after 11:30. I don’t know what the deal is with me waking up at 3am out of the blue. I haven’t been to cardiac rehab since last Thursday due to the Christmas closing. I couldn’t go yesterday because I was driving. I’ll go today and tomorrow from 8-9 and then Friday I’m driving again. Mike was very helpful with the boys yesterday once I got home. This afternoon I’m taking the boys to this cool retro arcade in West Dundee that has all these old video games from the 1980s plus skeeball, air hockey and pinball. You get unlimited play on all games for hours for one set price. I took them once last summer and they loved it. 

I’m having a cup of coffee. It doesn’t taste that good somehow. 

I’m trying to decide on my goals for the new year. The list has to be short, important and achievable. 

Sat.122422

Here I am pecking away with one finger on my iPad keyboard early in the morning. I’m the only one up and I’m sitting on the couch with my blanket and dog with my cup of coffee with a splash of vanilla almond milk in it. I stayed up too late with Mike watching The West Wing with him. He’s never watched it before. I’ve watched it but have fallen asleep and missed many parts. I fell asleep again last night with my head on Mike’s lap. Some time after midnight I staggered in to bed but then couldn’t go back to sleep for what seemed like a long time. Once I did fall asleep I woke up a few more times and just stayed up around 5:45.

It’s beastly cold outside and last night the fierce wind sounded like an ice age was upon us. It’s pretty quiet out there now. Hennessy watched TV until around ten then Mike told her to go to bed. I was pretty sleepy and out of it by then. Mike always takes the dog out to pee at night. Bitzi only weighs about 7 1/2 pounds and doesn’t like to go out in bad weather.

Yesterday Hennessy and I made some cookies and packaged them up to take to a couple neighbor ladies who have brought us banana bread. Due to my cardiac rehab program and trying to lose weight and get healthier I hadn’t made holiday sweets like usual so we just made a small batch of cookies and packaged them up. Hennessy had two but at least I didn’t pig out on them. I also haven’t sent out any Christmas cards. I have a whole stack of ones we’ve received and I meant to send them one back. It’s too late now. I’ll send a note to a couple people.

I’ve just withdrawn from a lot of people and things. I’m trying to direct my energy on what really matters. Social media has become one big “la-Dee-da look at me “ boastfest or marketing scam. I’m getting pretty grouchy in my old age. I want truth, sincerity and purity. 

The Chicago Bears play the Buffalo Bills at Soldier Field in Chicago at noon today. Although I initially had high hopes for the Bears the past several weeks have been disappointing despite quarter back Justin Fields’ displays of excellence. I’ll watch the game today mostly due to the ridiculously cold conditions. 

Yesterday I took Hennessy to our Sun City lodge to look at all the Christmas decorations. It is done very nicely and we got some walking in. 

I guess I sounded pretty negative before but I actually am very grateful for my blessings. We have have 6 healthy adult children, twelve healthy grandchildren, healthy siblings. Mike’s  mom is eighty-four and doing okay despite her cancer treatment. We have all we need. I am so blessed for all I have and I’m absolutely sure I have an angel on my shoulder. She has saved my ass many times!

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12:18

Hennessy and I took Bitzi and delivered the gift bags with cookies we made to two neighbor ladies. I made a pot of chicken vegetable soup and it’s simmering on the stove. The Bears game is on. Mike is explaining football to Hennessy. I started watching Grumpy Old Men on my IPad with my headphones on. We’re going to the store after the game. 

Tomorrow we’re going to my step sons house in Glen Ellen. Tuesday I’ll take Hennessy home to Norris and bring 3 of my grandsons home for a few days. 

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6pm

Henna is in the whirlpool tub. I just mixed up a batch of hash brown casserole and put it in the crockpot for morning. We went to a couple stores then came home and took the dog out several times trying to get her to do her business it’s no luck. She doesn’t like the cold weather. It’s a problem. 

Thursday 12/22

Somehow I just deleted everything I had typed. I am so rusty typing, especially on this small new iPad keyboard. It’s early morning and no one else is awake. Hennessy came home with me yesterday and she’s still sleeping in the spare bedroom and Mike is sleeping. in our bedroom. It’s cold and the house is chilly. We’re supposed to get a snowstorm with blizzard conditions and dropping temperatures starting later this morning. I have to go to cardiac rehab at 9:1  and then I have four days off and need to find a way to exercise.

Christmas is in three days and I need to decide what I’m cooking so I can shop for the stuff but  so far I haven’t. I’d better hurry up or it will be much harder. I guests I should go today.

I have no clue why there is this gray dot floating around on my screen—no it’s not a floater in my field of vision, it’s an actual gray dot. I must have accidentally hit some key to put on some feature of the keyboard I don’t know about.  Speaking about that, Tuesday was the first day of me taking my new Honda Passport for a long drive by myself . We bought it in November and I’ve driven it around the neighborhood quite a bit but whenMike and I go out he usually insists on driving so until Tuesday I hadn’t’t put gas in it or knew a bunch of the buttons and controls. It has lots of new bells and whistles on it so that was interesting. It drives like a dream on the interstate. It feels so solid and stable and smooth- much better than my other cars. I’m happy with it. Yeah, for my birthday we got the new car and new iPad. 

I’ve been trying to  cut down on exposure to crowds lately with all the colds, flus, Covid, RSV going around. I’ve been on several new prescription meds since the heart attack in  OSeptember and I don’t want to get sick and take more meds and get my health knocked down even more. 

Shortly I have to get dressed and try to wake up Henna and get her some breakfast. I need to leave here around 9 to drive the 2 miles to the hospital rehab building. I always feel better after .I go . I should have been exercising like this long ago. Things always come up and get in the way. It’s all about priorities.  Exercise has to come first.  

I still don’t know what the floating gray dot it. I don’t remember seeing it when I tested the keyboard before. Now the bold control keeps coming on randomly. I have got to get used to this keyboard!  Okay, face it-I’m old and out of the loop.

 I’m not up on all the rapidly changing devices and technology……Sheesh….

Typing

I am trying to get used to typing on my new IPad’s new keyboard case. I gave my old one that still worked to my daughter. I’m sure that sure or the kids will find it useful enough. My hands feel awkward and unused to typing, especially on a smaller keyboard. I’m sure it will get better with practice and repetition. Right now it feel janky and my left inner wrist hurts. Oh well. Such is life.

I don’t have cardiac rehab today. I took the dog for a brisk walk around the lodge and lagoon. I’m going to the gym to use the resistance machines in a little while then go to the store and then come home and practice my choral music for rehearsal tonight. For the most part I’m enjoying the experience of singing in a choir again. Some things I don’t like. There are some bossy cranky nitpicks old ladies who think they can boss people around. Also there are some aging ladies with dreadful mile-wide forced vibrato that gags me. Also the director is about 80 and never warms the group up nor every touches on anything close to vocal pedagogy or sound production……. SO there are some things that bug me. I have never gone to the separate Monday night alto section practices. #1 I’m not supposed to drive at night, #2 I don’t need a bunch of old biddies trying to nitpick me to death about things I don’t agree with and #3 I don’t like enclosed spaces anyway. Going to full chorus rehearsal one evening a week is enough for me. And yes, I do sometimes even go over the music and practice at home. My biggest problem is my low vision and reading the actual music but I will admit I’m amazed that I’m able to as well as I am. 

Sunday night we went overt to Casey and Jacki’s house and watched Aiden and the baby for them for 6 hours. The baby is 4 months old now and very sweet. She doesn’t like to stay asleep though once you put her down. We tried twice and 30 minutes afterward she was screaming bloody murder so I just held her until they got home. Then she was out like a light they successfully put her in bed and she slept the I rest of the night. Aiden is going on 2 and very busy. 

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Later-

I went to our lodge here in Sun City and used several of the resistance machines. The cardio machines were all busy so I just came home. I already had my walk. I haven’t used the weight machines for a week so I know I’ll be sore tomorrow. Mike and I are running out to do errands. I’m loving my new car. It’s super cool. It’s a Honda passport built on a truck frame. It has loads of cargo space I the back and many safety features and sits up higher. I loved my Sorrento but I really love this one. I am so freakin blessed.