The key to life

I am a big fan of Buddha’s teachings. I’m not really invested in any particular religion but I kind of like the things Buddha said. I do not like crazy religious fanatics who try to push their stuff on you and are all or nothing inflexible. I do believe in souls, spiritual energy and a higher power. I do believe in karma and that life is an echo and a mirror of what you put out into the universe. I have made countless mistakes and suffered unbelievable pain. This is the path each human has to walk. I think we all vibrate at different frequencies. I push to raise my vibration to the next higher level. I search for enlightenment. 

Yesterday Bitzi and I walked around Wildflower and Fountainview lakes. It was a nice sunny cool day and not many people were out. Lately I’ve been playing a disco hits radio station on my phone in my pocket when I walk. It keeps me moving. I don’t like wearing earbuds because then I can’t hear things around me. I got some new chunky Skechers walking shoes with thick soles to help with my knees, back and feet. I added a pair of squishy insoles inside them for added comfort. I’m still breaking them in and getting used to them. I think my knee-feet-back problems started in early summer when I went out walking a lot in thin flip flops. After the pain started I switched to regular thin light Skechers and a knee brace. Now I’m hoping these more supportive shoes will help even more. I’m in it for the long haul with my exercise and diet. I was to surprise Dr. Stiff with my efforts when I go back to see him in May.

 In the evenings after I stop eating ( my daily eating window is noon to 6 pm) he’ll sit next to me on the couch and have his snacks. My blood sugar is no longer spiking up and down in response to carbs so I’m okay and it doesn’t bother me. My husband is diabetic, has high blood pressure, high cholesterol, has gout, asthma , is severely allergic to cats and feathers and has shoulder joint problems. A lot of his medical issues could be helped by changing his diet and exercising. I worry about him but my comments and reminders only make it worse. I don’t know what it will take for him to change. I see so many couples here in Sun City out walking, riding bikes, swimming, playing pickle all or tennis but I’m always alone. I told him once that several people have asked if I’ve a widow, as they see me out alone so much. He uses his job as an excuse but I know once he retires it will be the same. I’ve heard him tell a couple people that at some point he’s going to join me on my low carb eating style but never any mention when. I’ve tried to help him. I’m not even diabetic or hypertensive. He could really benefit from it. Oh well I’ll just keep plugging along. Maybe my example and eventual results will sway him. I accept what I cannot change. I try to just take care of my own shit and stay in tune with the universe 🤪.

10:24 I’ve done some tidying up. I did the laundry yesterday. I’m taking Bitzi to the lake. Make hay while the sun shines. 

The key to life

I am a big fan of Buddha’s teachings. I’m not really invested in any particular religion but I kind of like the things Buddha said. I do not like crazy religious fanatics who try to push their stuff on you and are all or nothing inflexible. I do believe in souls, spiritual energy and a higher power. I do believe in karma and that life is an echo and a mirror of what you put out into the universe. I have made countless mistakes and suffered unbelievable pain. This is the path each human has to walk. I think we all vibrate at different frequencies. I push to raise my vibration to the next higher level. I search for enlightenment. 

Yesterday Bitzi and I walked around Wildflower and Fountainview lakes. It was a nice sunny cool day and not many people were out. Lately I’ve been playing a disco hits radio station on my phone in my pocket when I walk. It keeps me moving. I don’t like wearing earbuds because then I can’t hear things around me. I got some new chunky Skechers walking shoes with thick soles to help with my knees, back and feet. I added a pair of squishy insoles inside them for added comfort. I’m still breaking them in and getting used to them. I think my knee-feet-back problems started in early summer when I went out walking a lot in thin flip flops. After the pain started I switched to regular thin light Skechers and a knee brace. Now I’m hoping these more supportive shoes will help even more. I’m in it for the long haul with my exercise and diet. I was to surprise Dr. Stiff with my efforts when I go back to see him in May.

Mike says he has a bunch of stuff to do today so again I’m on my own. He refuses to go on walks with me and it’s anything everything to his hearts delight. In the evenings after I stop eating ( my daily eating window is noon to 6 pm) he’ll sit next to me on the couch and have his snacks. My blood sugar is no longer spiking up and down in response to carbs so I’m okay and it doesn’t bother me. He is diabetic, has high blood pressure, high cholesterol, has gout, asthma , is severely allergic to cats and feathers and has shoulder joint problems. A lot of his medical issues could be helped by changing his diet and exercising. I worry about him but my comments and reminders only make it worse. I don’t know what it will take for him to change. I see so many couples here in Sun City out walking, riding bikes, swimming, playing pickle all or tennis but I’m always alone. I told him once that several people have asked if I’ve a widow, as they see me out alone so much. He uses his job as an excuse but I know once he retires it will be the same. I’ve heard him tell a couple people that at some point he’s going to join me on my low carb eating style but never any mention when. I’ve tried to help him. I’m not even diabetic or hypertensive. He could really benefit from it. Oh well I’ll just keep plugging along. Maybe my example and eventual results will sway him. I accept what I cannot change. I try to just take care of my own shit and stay in tune with the universe 🤪.

10:24 I’ve done some tidying up. I did the laundry yesterday. I’m taking Bitzi to the lake. Make hay while the sun shines. 

Suds

Im up doing laundry, tidying up, reading, drinking coffee. When I got up a while ago I discovered Mike propped up on the living room couch in a stupor. Now he’s skulked off back to bed and closed the door. Our bedroom now in this house is bigger than any bedroom I’ve ever had- almost too big. There’s a huge walk-in closet and huge bathroom attached. In our bedroom we have our queen black metal frame bed, a 4- drawerblonde wood  IKEA dresser, a couple metal IKEA tables holding Walmart ceramic lamps serving as nightstands, a flat-screen TV on a stand ( we never turn on or use) and an old pinkish multicolor ugly recliner still in good shape that Mike bought for his divorced apartment in 1997. We are not fancy expensive furniture people. We are not make payments for five years for furniture kind of people. We are simple basic serves our needs folks.

Anyway the big ‘ master bathroom” in our bedroom suite is mine. It has a jacuzzi tub, separate shower area, separate toilet room, separate lighted makeup vanity. Mike uses the full guest bathroom on the other side of the house down the hall by the guest bedroom. His has a tub and shower and vanity and he’s perfectly happy. We have always had our own separate bathrooms and that’s fine. I have too much stuff on the counter and that drives him nuts. My bathroom is bigger than my old bathroom but has MUCH less storage space which can be a problem. I had to get rid of a whole bunch of stuff. Same with this new kitchen - WAY less cabinet and counter space. The first couple months I felt really frustrated, traumatized and heartbroken. We intended to do a kitchen update, change the counters and sink, add an additional cabinet or two but now with Mike’s job situation concerns we’ve put the brakes on that for now. We’re focusing on real needs right now instead of wants or desires or wild hairs up my ass frivolous spending ideas.

So the company buyouts / cuts/ downsizing process for Mike’s company is still going on and the full results and outcome are as of yet unknown and so I have stopped a lot of my normal spending. I have unsubscribed from numerous monthly things which just slowly leech money and suck you dry gently in the background. My current mission is to get creative and use up what ingredients we already have in the kitchen and cut way down on stores and restaurants. Kind of like the show Chopped- you create meals using ingredients you have on hand. Very thankfully I learned very well how to do that living on a farm out in the boonies with a bunch of kids. Use what you’ve got. Improvise, substitute.

In this life, where have you found refuge? Refuges include people, places, memories, ideas, and ideals—anyone or anything that provides reliable sanctuary and protection, so you can let down your guard and gather strength and wisdom.

- Buddha’s Brain 

In April 2015 I had a sudden major violent seizure out of the blue signaling my brain cancer had returned after 7 years. After 5 years, in 2013, top specialists proclaimed me cured and no longer needed routine brain MRIs.

You NEVER know what will happen or if you will be granted a tomorrow. What will be left behind when I’m gone? Who know if and or when my cancer will return? What lasting thing of value can I leave except for memories that I helped another in some small way? Things do not matter.

Do all that you can, with all that you have, in the time that you have, in the place where you are.