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Showing posts with label #socialdistancing. Show all posts
Showing posts with label #socialdistancing. Show all posts

Friday, December 11

Merrily down the stream....

Good morning. And I’m using my headset microphone and dictation and trying to get used to it. The sun has not come up yet. I’m simmering cloves,lemon slices and cinnamon sticks in a little pan on the stove. The aroma is scenting  the house in a wonderful way that smells like Christmas. I love doing that in December. It makes me happy. I still feel a little sad that the kids are grown but now we have the grandkids. Due to the pandemic we don’t see them much. My sense of taste and smell never fully returned after the stem cell transplant. There was some wicked chemo that was used to penetrate the blood- brain barrier. It took me about seven months after that to be able to taste or smell anything at all and even now five years later I’m still not normal. I can smell the simmering Christmas concoction a bit. I can sometimes smell my own armpits. Some perfumes I’m unable to smell nor natural gas from the stove. It is what it is. I’ve stopped dictating. It seems weird to be speaking out loud while I’m sitting here alone. To me it’s somewhat cathartic to type. 

This is Friday and the students I’m subbing for are asynchronous. I have put activities in their online folders. It just seems weird. So I have three more weeks of this gig- two after Christmas break and the last week of it, on Jan.11 is supposed to be in person with kids. I’m a bit ambivalent but keeping an open mind. It would only be five days. 


The sun is coming up now. I just went out to the kitchen and made another cup of coffee and opened the blinds on the back windows and sliding glass doors and Bitzi didn’t wake up or come out of her igloo so I just let her sleep. On days when I’ve been starting work online at eight I take her out for her first walk at seven but today she can sleep. Mike still takes her out to pee in the middle of the night but she surely doesn’t need it. She usually just wanders back in to her igloo by nine every night and puts herself to bed. She’s very well tempered and behaved.

After this sub job is done I’m not sure if I want to take more especially as schools are talking about returning students before the pandemic is over and vaccines have been given widely. Maybe my immune system is strong enough now but I still don’t produce immunoglobulins like normal humans so it’s a bit tricky....




Tuesday, November 17

Just be safe and smart. Stay the course.

I’m feeling better today. I’m not sure what was wrong yesterday and the night before last other than taking that really long walk out in the brutally cold wind Sunday morning. Because I felt so shitty yesterday I went off my diet and fasting a bit. Nothing too radical but now I’m back on track. There are a whole bunch of sub jobs available but all are in person in schools and I’m not doing that. The virus numbers are just rising too rapidly and I certainly don’t want to chance it. Next week my former district is shutting in- person classes down again and going back to e- learning for all until Dec.4 when they’ll reassess. I feel like I should drive down and see my kids but I’m even hesitant to do that.
I’ve come to far to be stupid and get the virus and risk having it take me out. And it might only be the sniffles but my immune system still isn’t mature and that strong. My common sense says I should stay home as much as I am able. 
Cancel Thanksgiving

Yesterday I drove to Bartlett to my family doctor’s office to do the urine drug screening test to be approved to sub for D300 but I don’t really even want to now. It’s just that I had sent a my chart request to him last week. That district isn’t very friendly or welcoming as my other two and they have a lot more hoops to jump through for a lower daily sub pay rate so I’m now not enthused about working for them. Life is too short to deal with things that don’t give you joy.

7:46am now. I have taken Bitzi for a walk to the park. Mike is awake now. I made him a pepper and egg sandwich. Yesterday was his birthday (62). He had to work and I didn’t feel well. He doesn’t like holidays or birthdays and doesn’t do gifts. He got me a card for my birthday and that was it. I bought myself two bouquets of flowers. I might as well do it for myself. 

For his birthday yesterday I made tilapia, shrimp, scallops, corn and mashed potatoes for his dinner and gave him a card I had in my card box. He enjoyed it. I didn’t feel well. 

Sunday, November 15

Just concede you orange orangutan

It’s a gloomy Sunday morning. I’m drinking coffee with MCT oil looking out the front window at the overcast scene. I’m taking Bitzi for a walk when I finish my coffee. I am trying to say positive things in my head and not succumb to the swelling anxiety and depression over the state of the world, country, my family. “ This too shall pass” over and over. Counting my blessings. I need to get out and walk. 






Saturday, October 17

Deliver me

11:26am Saturday

It’s very chilly and windy outside. It’s supposed to get below freezing tonight so I brought a few potted geraniums and a mum in the garage to protect them. We’re starting to put the stuff back since the painting is done.

For some reason I overslept this morning and came out into the kitchen at 8:38, looked at the clock and realized I was late for the 8am feeding for the two Tibetan spaniels I’m caring for so hurried and threw some clothes on and zoomed the 11 blocks over there. When I went in the dogs came rushing to greet me with joy because they were hungry. I put their food down and they inhaled it and then ran to the door to be let out in the fenced back yard. It’s very briskly cold today so the dogs didn’t dawdle and came back in right away. 


Bitzi has puked a couple times today. I’m not sure what’s wrong or if she ate something she shouldn’t. She’s napping in her fluffy bed now.

Mike had some online work to do this morning and now he’s done and started to clear up junk that’s piled around and sort things to get rid of before we put the stuff back in to the rooms that have been painted. We got some new lights installed, a big framed mirror mounted, the TV mounted on a bracket on the wall and four rooms painted fresh. We’re going to go to the countertop store this afternoon and put the deposit down and they’ll come out and measure. We’ve been going to go all week but things kept coming up.

I went for my Huntley School district sub orientation yesterday. My criminal background check has to come back and my health form with the TB test and then I’m good. Their preK-5 starts back to in-school learning next week on a MTTHF schedule with Wednesdays off. Their 6-12 return Nov.2. Elgin SD U-46 returns their K-2 and sp ed students the 26th.

I have to go tend the spaniels again. 

1:16pm
We took a few things to Gooodwill as we’re sorting and putting stuff away. I stopped at Great Clips and got the back of my hair trimmed. It’s growing out from the short layered cut I got in March so I have to keep getting it trimmed so it doesn’t look like a mullet. I’m letting my hair color fade so I will soon have all natural color hair. It looks like a very pale reddish blonde now. I’m pretty over coloring and highlighting my hair. So expensive, so much upkeep and so many chemicals. I barely wear any makeup these days too. Just a little eyeliner maybe. That’s it.
It’s still super windy out. I attempted to help put stuff away but Mike is OCD and has to do things in a certain order so I just stopped and waiting for him to finish and move. Whatever.......

I‘M wondering if the dog puking could be after effects of her lepto vaccine she got the other day. Hmmmm either that or she ate something. She’s still acting pretty mopey. Shel’ll follow me around and wag her tail though.









I’m going to give Mike a while and then start sorting and moving things. It sounds like he’s using the vacuum now. It is HIS Shark vacuum, by the way.
Tuesday afternoon we’re going to Maywood for my check up with Dr. Stiff and bloodwork. I haven’t seen him since March and my 6-month appointment was postponed a month for some reason. I‘M sure all my tests will be fine. They’ll probably give me a flu shot This will be my first service with the new Aetna retired teachers group insurance. I have to pay the first $500 out of pockets before they start paying at 80%- not as good as my old school district insurance but it will have to do.

I’ve been reading more lately. Usually I just read news front online newspapers- The Daily Herald, The Washington Post, Huffington Post, The New York Times, Reuters........but I’ve started reading books on my IPad books app and Kindle app. I read the Comey book, the Mary Trump book and now I’m rereading and old favorite. It’s hard for me because of my vision. I have to adjust the font, the contrast, the lighting but I’m doing it. I have friends who read books for hours every day and are in book clubs. I used to be in book clubs before the eye cancer and detached retina and cataracts. Back in the day..........but hey, ya do what ya gotta do and do what you can do.

I’m getting a delivery of spoons today. We are short on eating spoons. I think it’s from me taking them in my lunch to school and them not getting back or something so I have a delivery of spoons coming today. I got my new 9X12 Wilton baking pans yesterday that I ordered. The thing about remodeling and purging your cabinets is that you see what crappy shit you’ve hung on to that needs replaced. OH and I got me a nice new iPad keyboard that actually FITS!  I‘M living high now!

Saturday, September 12

How to not get depressed during the pandemic

Every day when I get up I have to mentally slap myself and not sink into gloom and depression. Every morning I still have to remind myself I’m still alive and have much to be grateful for. I have to constantly nudge myself away from sliding into worry and dread and dark thoughts. I’m a person who expects the worst doom to happen and then I prepare so I’m ready. In my life I’ve been through some pretty awful dark horrible flaming shit and I never want to go back there but it’s always possible. You always have to keep your antennas up to watch out for monsters and you have to make yourself intentionally think GOOD thoughts all day every day. Plus my batshit crazy head always has this inner snarky,cynical, sarcastic,  bitchy voice commenting about everything and I’m always trying to tamp her down and remain outwardly pleasant and polite. If you think good thoughts, good things will come to you. If you show kindness to others, kindness will be shown to you. If you are generous to others, you will receive generosity. Life is an echo. It’s the law of attraction. You will attract the energy you radiate. 

It’s been gloomy and raining for days now. We’re going over to my stepson and daughter-in-laws for their baby gender reveal party ( that’s “a thing” now with millennials.....) and I’m uncomfortable about going. Due to a sonogram Thursday the doctor identified a mass in the embryo’s chest and is pretty sure it’s some congenital defect called C-PAM. So they’re going to wait to see if it resolves on it’s own or the baby may need surgery immediately upon birth. I can’t imagine why they’re going ahead with the party. I feel so bad for them and don’t know what to say. Plus my husbands ex will be there and she is always loud obnoxious and attention getting. I always feel very strained being around her. I’ve got to just relax, take a deep breath and pull up my big girl panties and slap  on a friendly, happy face. I know I had one here somewhere.....

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