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Showing posts with label Tuesday. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Tuesday. Show all posts

Tuesday, April 7



I woke up a couple hours ago wheezing and coughing. I got up and got a drink and tried to cough it out and tried to go back to sleep but every time I did I keep dreaming I had the virus and was being put in isolation on a ventilator. I kept dismissing it, trying to go back to sleep, trying to prop myself up higher on my wedge pillow to help me breathe but the wheezing was worse than normal so I just put a sweater over my pajamas and came out to the front sitting room so I wouldn’t wake Michael. I think I’ve just been reacting to the trees and bushes  budding lately causing my increased wheezing the past couple days. It’s just that there’s nonstop TV coverage of all the rising death numbers with this pandemic. In our county so far 234 now positive and 14 deaths. 

Yes I need to slap myself and snap the fuck out of it. Don’t be a sissy girl.

6:13 Now I made my second cup of coffee, tidied up the kitchen a bit, opened all the window blinds and used my Symbicort inhaler. I haven’t used it in a long time. I have 3 Zoom instrument sectional meetings with my sixth graders today. I did three private lessons yesterday. I have attended a few Zoom meetings and am becoming somewhat more comfortable with them although not at all at ease or fluent. Thursday I have sectionals with my fifth graders - higher numbers in the groups but I’m sure a lot of them won’t show up. We are just doing our best given the circumstances.
Mike has a Zoom work meeting to attend today, he is pretty damned grouchy and not at all technology friendly. He missed his company’s Zoom training when he took me to Loyola for my oncologist’s check up two weeks ago. I tried to help him learn Zoom last night but he was grouchy and snappy. One of his feet are sore crusty and cracked. He has diabetes and doesn’t take care of himself, watch his diet or check his blood sugar. Foot care is important for diabetics. Last night before I went to bed I got out this foot soak tub I have and had him put his feet in it and I poured peroxide over his foot cracks that are getting infected and are hurting him so much. He is on edge these days about a lot of things: his mother’s cancer and care and treatment, the economy, his job status ( they just cut everyone’s salary by 15% across the board and I’m retiring....), the epidemic and our future. He doesn’t want me going in stores at all now even with a mask and gloves. HE goes in the stores with no mask or gloves and just uses hand sanitizer. There are now twelve reported cases of the virus in our town ( Huntley). I’m not sure if there have been any deaths here but the neighboring towns have rapidly rising numbers of deaths from the virus.

As if those things weren’t enough, the whole politically divided atmosphere in our culture is nearly unbearable. I cannot imagine how so many people have been sucked up into the Trump cult. Seriously. All the white supremacists and KKK and dumb-ass big- mouthed violent nut jobs with their idiotic red MAGA  hats. It’s a growing cult.

Okay gotta get off this psycho rant and go for a walk! 

Tuesday, March 10

Still dark

Now that we’ve changed the clocks back to daylight savings time it’s dark in the morning when I get up. Yesterday was a very difficult drive to work in the dark with the rain and headlight glare on the wet pavement. I missed the exit to I-90 so went straight on 47 to 20 East which took much longer. Then I took 20 to 25 south to Bartlett to my school. Very tense drive. Today I don’t have to leave as early and it’s not raining.

I feel like I have this giant weight on me because of Annette’s cancer and because of my daughter cutting us off for 3 months now. No clue, no argument, no conflict. She just stopped talking and communicating around Christmas #familymatters, #familyissues, #cancerfight,#curecancer.

Today after school we have 6th grade band rehearsal ( concert in one week) and then a 90- minute secondary music staff meeting. I know I’ll be dragging. 

My stepson Casey’s new bulldog Eisenhower

My zinnias are growing

Tuesday, February 4

It just figures

I was pretty pumped up about the Iowa democratic caucus and had been looking forward to it all week. Then last night while watching it I felt frustrated by the whole complicated clusterf*ck process and lack of any real results. I wish they’d just do away with it. Tonight is Trump’s #nevertrump, #makeamericasmartagain, state of the union address. I don’t know if I can stand to watch him. He makes me sick. 

I called TRS three times yesterday about getting my retirement packet and got three different people all with different information and issues. So that’s a clusterf*ck too. I just want to fill out my paperwork, get my ducks in a row, retire and get my pension and find some other form of supplemental income. I am trying really hard to stay engaged and keep a good attitude about my job but honestly I’ve pretty much already mentally checked out.

I need to go to the grocery store. Since I had the flu three weeks ago I’ve felt exhausted and haven’t felt like doing much at all. Mike has gone to the store a couple times but doesn’t really shop with cooking meals in mind. He’ll get himself hot dogs and sport peppers. So I need to go. I’m still coughing and tired. I always feel so blah this time of year with all the sickness and endless days of overcast skies. Yuck. I’m dreaming of a cruise to some tropical destination! 
swim wear

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