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Showing posts with label determination. Show all posts
Showing posts with label determination. Show all posts

Sunday, April 19

Getting through it

9:52 am Sunday

It get occasional waves of anxiety about this pandemic situation. I try to not be a total swamp bitch to my husband but sometimes I daydream about punching him in the mouth. I don’t think I could run fast enough to realistically ever actually do that. Well, maybe if he was sleeping. It is nice to have someone to cuddle up with and rub my feet at night though. I’m on my fourth cup of coffee so that may be adding to my being a little more cranked up.

Mike is, of course, watching the news. I’m so sick of the news I want to smash them all in the teeth with a hammer too. Of course I never actually act on these violent thoughts but at least I can visualize it. It’s starting to get to me how insensate and oblivious my spouse is. Our twenty two years together have been sweetly seasoned with me going away for a few days at least once a month. It has given our marriage breathing room.i did actually get out alone and go grocery shopping alone the other day and I was gone a couple hours. I really like driving especially in my new car. It’s so nice. 

We’re going to go over and see Mike’s mom today. We haven’t been over to visit her in over a month. Mike has been taking her to her immune therapy infusion treatments and there’s one coming up Tuesday. We video chat with her and keep in touch that way.

I got pictures of my puppy’s parents yesterday. 

Saturday, February 22

Self care when you’re feeling stressed

Saturday is usually a good day. You’ve finished the work week, you can sleep in, you don’t have to pack your lunch, you can stay in your pajamas and you can do what you want. I slept until 7:15 this morning which is late for me. I slept really well through the night. As of yesterday I’m feeling more congested in my lungs even though I’ve been taking the antibiotics since Wednesday. Nothing seems to help.

Poached eggs for breakfast egg poacher pan

Yesterday I arranged for one of our friends to give his drum set to one of my students who has been wanting one for a long time. Mike and I are going to get pick it up in the morning and then deliver it to the boy. The mom said her boy is super excited to get it. I’m happy it will work out. I have some computer school work to do today that will take an hour or so. I ought to get that done before I get sidetracked to other things.

Later this evening I’m going to take a nice long bath and scrape my feet and exfoliate my skin and give myself a facial and hair conditioning treatment #selfcare, #beautyspa, #selfcare, #healing, #watertherapy. In my bathroom I have plants, Buddha pictures and figures and an essential oil diffuser. I try to relax in my tub and let go of all the shit that’s bugging me #spa, #spatherapy, #zen. That’s better than any medicine or talk therapy.

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 Still no word from my oldest daughter. I’m just letting it play out but it’s hard. I have learned that I cannot always fix, solve or change things or people. I can only control myself and even then it’s if-y, 


3:51   Underneath it all, I’ve been in a pretty bad mood for weeks now. I’m just SO FED UP with bullshit. It’s as simple as that. I try to be nice. I try to be positive. I try to be calm and get along but it’s getting harder and harder for me.

Ten tricks to stay positive

Now in February 2021 the world has been living with, fighting, learning about and worrying over Covid-19. I keep reading all the stories of ...