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Showing posts with label flu. Show all posts
Showing posts with label flu. Show all posts

Tuesday, February 4

It just figures

I was pretty pumped up about the Iowa democratic caucus and had been looking forward to it all week. Then last night while watching it I felt frustrated by the whole complicated clusterf*ck process and lack of any real results. I wish they’d just do away with it. Tonight is Trump’s #nevertrump, #makeamericasmartagain, state of the union address. I don’t know if I can stand to watch him. He makes me sick. 

I called TRS three times yesterday about getting my retirement packet and got three different people all with different information and issues. So that’s a clusterf*ck too. I just want to fill out my paperwork, get my ducks in a row, retire and get my pension and find some other form of supplemental income. I am trying really hard to stay engaged and keep a good attitude about my job but honestly I’ve pretty much already mentally checked out.

I need to go to the grocery store. Since I had the flu three weeks ago I’ve felt exhausted and haven’t felt like doing much at all. Mike has gone to the store a couple times but doesn’t really shop with cooking meals in mind. He’ll get himself hot dogs and sport peppers. So I need to go. I’m still coughing and tired. I always feel so blah this time of year with all the sickness and endless days of overcast skies. Yuck. I’m dreaming of a cruise to some tropical destination! 
swim wear

Saturday, February 1

You always hurt the one you love

So now we’re going out to buy a new big TV. The old one stopped working two weeks ago. This has been a giant pain in the ass the last two weeks.

We ended up buying a 65” Sony 4K at Costco.

We’re supposed to go to Brian & Michelle’s 30th anniversary party tonight. I’m not feeling well and didn’t sleep last night. I still have this tickle cough in my bronchial tubes. I just used my nebulizer. 

Friday, January 31

You just gotta keep swimming no matter what

So I’m feeling pretty heart sick and angst filled. My oldest daughter hasn’t been talking to any of us since Christmas. It seemed like one day things were okay and the next day she completely cut everybody off so finally yesterday I kept texting her and calling her and texted her husband. Later in the afternoon she sent me an angry hateful cussing rant text. She has gone completely off her rocker. I’ve also been worried for her two young daughters. She evidently has started on some new strong dose of Cymbalta for her fibromyalgia and is trying to cut out all stress and anxiety but it’s obviously making her a crazy bitch. I’ve read up on it and adverse side effects can be anger, hostility, aggression and increased depression.  I’m just going to leave her alone and not contact her anymore. I will never forgive her for what she said. Karma is a bitch. She’ll wake up and realize at some point but I’m done and I’m really hurting. She’s thirty seven and I have to trust things will eventually be okay. It’s very hard and hurts though. I am really sad.

Thursday, January 30

Switch day

Today is Thursday but at school a switch day Friday schedule and there is after school fifth grade band rehearsal. I’m still not feeling right, very exhausted and still coughing a lot. I’m taking tomorrow’s SIP day off. I need more rest.

Saturday, January 25

I will survive

Good morning. It’s 8:06 Saturday and I just woke up a while ago and am drinking my first coffee since last Saturday. I’ve been so sick all week I could barely eat or drink anything. I am sipping today’s coffee slowly. My gut has been very unhappy. I did manage to get up and take a shower, wash my hair, style it and put some lotion on my face and put on real clothes yesterday so I didn’t feel like such a troll. I  spent the week in pajamas or lounge pants, my hair up in a haggard bun and no makeup or moisturizer. I got pretty dehydrated and was startled Thursday when I was sitting at my bathroom vanity mirror and noticed how drawn and wrinkled and haggard I looked. My arms and hands were all dry and scaled and shriveled looking. I couldn’t sleep for about three days or keep my food or drink in that didn’t go straight through me. No wonder I’ve been so weak and unstable on my feet. Mike stayed home with me several days. So I’m feeling better but not 100%. I plan to go back to work Monday but take it easy. We shall see how it goes.

The situation with my oldest daughter is still going on. She is not responding to calls or texts-to me, her father, her siblings. She has only stated she’s fine and is de stressing and doesn’t want to talk. This has been going on for weeks. She’s thirty-seven so I just have to trust she’ll work out whatever it is. I can’t help but worry. I try to remind myself to have faith.

Thursday Mike and I were supposed to attend my first retirement meeting for this year’s retirees. Of course I was too sick to go so now I’ll have to try to play catch up and get the information I missed. Another hassle to chase down when I’m feeling exhausted. HR sent me a link about the insurance and TRS stuff- too much overwhelming information. Oh well it will all work out. Things always work out. 

In an attempt to build back some strength I’m going to try to move around more today, perhaps go outside and shovel a bit and get some fresh air. We’re supposed to get up to 7” and it’s still snowing. Mike did it by himself yesterday before he left for work. He has two bum shoulders that are going to need fixed before too much longer. Like everything else he keeps putting it off. He just wants to take care of me.

The ongoing political situation is nauseating, mind numbing, frightening and fascinating all at once. I watched quite a bit of the impeachment hearings this week. Adan Schiff was awesome, passionate and well spoken. We all know, unfortunately, that it will do no good and the Republicans have the Senate majority and will vote to keep Trump in office. It is unfathomable that we have a US president so similar to Hitler. His followers are a cult. How did this happen to the USA?  I have very little hope that the fall presidential election won’t be screwed by the Russians again. I read the Chicago Daily Herald, top stories from the Washington Post, New York Times, Huffington Post nearly  every day. I watch Anderson Cooper 360 on CNN, Real Time with Bill Maher on HBO and Fox News ( for conservative balance to be fair) but I still don’t have much clarity or faith in the state of our country.

11:35. I’ve been doing a little light housework and finally got around to watering my plants. A couple have not survived the winter. That’s the way it always goes. You can’t please everyone. The dead plants go out to the back side area of the house that I’ve designated the dump. Their pots and dirt will be used for other things next spring. It’s snowing pretty hard again. The snowflakes are big and fluffy coming down fast. To me this is the part of winter that’s a bucket of suck. The first part is okay but then about mid-January it starts to suck. I can seriously see us in a few years being January to March snow birds.

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