Stay young!

Showing posts with label hurt. Show all posts
Showing posts with label hurt. Show all posts

Wednesday, March 11

Premonition

5:29 pm Wednesday

It has been gloomy, foggy, misty all day. It was a somewhat frustrating workday. We are supposed to be administering this mandatory written and playing tests to all of our band students but they also have other academic testing going on that we, of course, are not informed about in advance so some of my students were missing. The ones who did come we’re fine but I was frustrated and just wanting to get it done. Also now there is all this media coverage of impending doom from the exponentially spreading corona virus. I finish with my lessons and get ready to leave to travel to my second school but I decide I’ll go use the staff restroom down the hall but discover it’s locked with another teacher occupying it so I just went around the corner to pop into the girl students restroom and open the door to the back stall to discover some little girl has pooped numerous turds all around the toilet seat in a symmetrical artful fashion, as if one were decorating the top of a cake. Horrified, I return to my lesson room, notify the office of the poop catastrophe via intercom, gather my things and leave feeling disturbed and rattled.
At my next school I was in the middle of teaching four wild fifth grade trumpet boys when the fire alarm went off. The entire building evacuated and stood shivering on the playground. Four fire trucks and a police car came speeding down the street in front of the screaming children with their sirens on. After an unbearable amount of  time the secretary came on over the load speaker thanking everyone for their fast response for the fire drill. Then it was time for dismissal so I accomplished nothing.

When I got back home and went to our community’s main lodge and voted early for the primary. 

I remember in December I had strange feeling or premonition that something big and bad was coming. I had no idea what it was but kept feeling it. I chalked it to being a worry wart at the time. Since then my mother-in- law has been diagnosed with lung and brain cancer, my oldest daughter hasn’t need talking to any of us family ( have no clue why), my ex- husband is critically ill, and now we are in a pandemic emergency over the spreading corona virus. I felt this big awful tidal wave approaching but it wasn’t clear.

Monday, December 30

I thought I had it all figured out

Just when you think you’ve come a long way, learned a lot, feel confident and secure some shit happens that makes you feel all bewildered, unprepared and clueless. Most of the time I don’t feel like this but life has to keep sending us unexpected zingers to keep us humble I guess.

I’m going to Costco in Lake in the Hills in a little bit to get a little seafood for New Years Eve. We never go out and party and drink. Sometimes we invite people over but this year, as far as I know, it’s just Mike & me. A couple king crab legs, shrimp and scallops for him will do. I don’t really like scallops. A salad and baked potato will be it. Nothing too fancy.
It’s supposed to snow shower this afternoon so I’m going to get my shopping done this morning. 

Mike’s mom and Casey came over to watch the Bears game yesterday. We went to look at this house that’s for sale here in Sun City about 3/4 of a mile from our house. We couldn’t go inside and look at it-no realtor or open house but checked out the neighborhood and looked at the interior online. His mother needs to not live alone so far from her kids. Mike is the closest and he’s 35 miles away from her house. More stuff keeps happening with her to show she should not be living alone but her kids keep ignoring it and she’s not my mom so I’m not in charge soooo.....

Something is up with my daughter and I’m not even sure but it’s driving me nuts with worry. No matter how old they get, they’ll always be your baby.

I’m going to go change and head to Costco. Stop worrying about crazy shit that’s probably my imagination.



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2:10 I went to Huntley Aldi’s and got some stuff then over to Lake In The Hills Costco and then back home, unloaded my stuff and put it away, then unloaded and reloaded the dishwasher and cleaned up the kitchen. It’s very gloomy out snow and was snowing and sleeting when I was out driving. I’m listening to an Al Jarreau mix playlist from Amazon Prime music via my Alexa through my Alesis transactive Bluetooth big bass speaker. Nice.
I did touch base with my daughter so at least she’s alive. I still don’t know what’s bothering her but she’s 37 and can call me when she’s ready to talk. I don’t chase anyone. I just tell them to let me know when they’re ready to talk or if they need anything. I’m easy. Things almost always work themselves out on their own. Worrying about shit doesn’t help, trust me.



Me on deck of the Pride of America cruise ship sailing between Hawaiian islands June 2018 ( feeling relaxed, grateful and happy)



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3:27

I just went for a walk down own our block. It’s really cold out there now. I was pretty bundled up with my coat, gloves, hood and scarf around my face but still too cold.

I’m trying to use this old keyboard I had for my iPad. I have one for work that fits my work iPad much better and is a better keyboard to use. This one is kind of janky and doesn’t fit very well on the iPad itself. The keys feel like cheap plastic and don’t go up and down quietly or smoothly. Still, it works. I’m not a snob about stuff at all. Mike is the pick one about almost every little thing. He’s so much like his mother, although he strongly denies it. Hahaha....... His mother came in here yesterday and almost immediately demanded we pull up a couple throw rugs because she decided one of us was going to slip and fall to her death. Then she announced she had removed her shoes at the door ( we don’t give a shit if you wear your shoes in here) and ordered Mike to go find her a pair of my slippers. I didn’t heart that part but noticed later she was wearing my neon yellow water /beach shoes........ (I thought what the hell???) and then a short while later she started complaining really loudly she was freezing and told me to go get her a sweater or jacket. I just looked at her like seriously.....no one else was cold but it was the way she complained and ordered me like I should drop everything and run and get her a sweater. Jesus H Christ. He IS like his mother, Ridiculously fussy. Crazy shit.


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