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Showing posts with label keto. Show all posts
Showing posts with label keto. Show all posts

Thursday, April 23

Thursday

9:10 am 

It’s a misty hazy day. I went for a brisk walk early this morning in the damp air. It felt good to be out there alone. There are great walking paths here. I’m feeling good. I started my keto / intermittent fasting yesterday. Already I’m feeling better and my gut feels way better. I haven’t eaten anything since 6pm yesterday. I’m a little hungry and a bit lightheaded but nothing major. I am having black coffee ( normally I would add milk to it.) My goal is to fast 20 hours and eat one meal / snacks over four hours. Since I’m not going out for work or appointments this is the ideal time to do it.

My ex was supposed to have a CT scan yesterday but my daughter hasn’t gotten any news of results. I would think a biopsy would be in order to accurately diagnose the suspected lymphoma but I believe he’s going to some doctor in Havana which I’m guessing won’t exactly be top notch. Not my monkeys, not my circus..... but, still.

It’s very hazy outside as I look out the front window facing East. A lot of daffodils are up and tulips are just starting to bloom. 

Mike was just out here ( came out of the office hole) obsessing and semi ranting about money and said I’m going to learn about spending once my ( lower than my current salary) retirement checks kick in. I just looked at him like he’s an anteater and didn’t say anything. Uh, hello...I’m the one paying the house and car off, let’s not fucking forget that. I fully intend to get another job when this pandemic clusterfuck is over. He’s the one with the 35% salary cut who hasn’t bothered considering finding another job. I told him to shut up and walk away or I’d kick him in the balls. He laughed and went back to his office. Of all the fucking nerve. Kiss my ass. I’ve got skills and smarts and I’ll do just fine. 









Mike is in his office on a phone meeting with his high school sports editor on speaker phone. They’re both very loud and I can hear everything although I’m two rooms and a hall away. They’re talking about Trubisky. We’re going to order fish fry take out meals for dinner from Sammy’s Bar & Grill here in town. I’ll have the broiled cod, a salad and cole slaw to avoid carbs but I’m still looking forward to it. Mike should be doing keto too. He’s diabetic for heavens sake and starting to have problems ( pain and numbness) with his feet. No amount of nudging, reminding or nagging from me makes any difference. Every day I ask him to go walk with me and he will not so I just go alone. You can drag a horse to water but you can’t make him drink.

I’ve been getting some occasional phishing scam emails in my comcast account the last month which I’ve just deleted and ignored. Yesterday and today I got two scary ones with some personal information and threats. Serious shit. WTF? I took the time and changed all my passwords. This is bullshit.

11:48am

I’m doing laundry-2loads of colors, 2 loads of whites. I made some hard-boiled eggs, answered a couple school emails, took the recycling out, took my nail polish off. I just found out that Sammy’s only has their fish special on Friday’s ( Catholic crap) so will have to move that to tomorrow’s agenda🤗. It appears the sun is trying to come out now. I’m going to go practice for a while before the afternoon Zooms. 

Wednesday, April 22

Back on the wagon again

4:19 pm

I’m mentally unwinding from eight back to back Zoom lessons. The last boy, a fifth grade trumpet, is REALLY bad. Painfully bad. Plus the audio / video delay and distortion make it even worse to bear. It’s been raining and gloomy all day and it just started pelting down on the roof again. The weather in Lewistown looked warm and sunny today in the videos my daughter from Lewistown sent me of her and the boys out walking and playing in the yard.

Today is my first day back on keto and intermittent fasting. When I was so badly sick with what I thought was flu in mid January into February I lost a bunch of weight and didn’t feel like eating. But once I came out of that I’ve been eating poorly and my gut doesn’t feel right. Ugh! It’s hell to get old. 

At the Wynn a few years back.

I didn’t mean to sound like a bitch earlier. Most of my students are very good. I’m just frazzled right now. This too shall pass. I had some celery with cream cheese, some spinach and black coffee today. I have my “ big meal” with a few carbs and be finished eating by 6pm. The I’ll fast until 10 am tomorrow. After a few days it’s not so bad. I’m only on my one a day thyroid pill. No other medicines. No blood pressure, blood sugar, cholesterol medicines at all. I don’t want to screw that up by eating poorly and packing on the pounds. I have had enough drugs ( chemo) to last a life time. I very seldom ever drink alcohol at all - maybe 2 beers in a year. Life has been exciting enough.

I try not to even think of politics anymore. It’s too upset. I seriously won’t be able to bear it or function if Trump gets re-elected. I will totally lose my shit and go postal. If you know me you know it’s very likely. Is Biden going to be tough enough to swing this? Or is Russian and the toxic Trump cult going to bring him down?  

Arlo is going to be 3 next week. How did he get that big? I miss those kids SO much. I can’t wait for this bullshit to be over so I can hug my grandkids!

I have a Parmesan crusted fish Lean Cuisine in the microwave. yum.

Our last staff day of this suck-y school year is May 28. A year to remember in your nightmares. Almost over. This ain’t my first rodeo. Just keep swimming. 



We’re doing the best we can with the circumstances. We keep getting up in the morning. We keep breathing in and out. We keep telling ourselves things will work out. Everything will be alright. We keep seeing the suffering and watching people die. We try to move on carrying all the pain, hurt, loss, disappointment, failure, loss betrayal. We keep patching bandages on our torn bleeding aching souls. We just keep trudging through the ever deeper snow with miles to go before we sleep. 



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