Showing posts with label metamorphosis. Show all posts
Showing posts with label metamorphosis. Show all posts

Friday, September 25

How to make a real change in your life

In a little while I have to drive to Elgin to pick up my new employee ID in order to have the option to sub for my old school husband thinks it’s ridiculous that I don’t want to sub for the schools here in Huntley. Maybe I will. My former district and buildings are just familiar and much larger. There will be lots more sub jobs there. If I apply to sub for Huntley I’ll have to go through all their new employee hoops too. I interviewed for two other jobs yesterday, both were part time and okay. Neither pays very well. Is it worth it? Do I even want to work? We really don’t need the money. 
I watched a show on Netflix last night called The Social Dilemma about the effects of social media, email and screen addiction. It was pretty shocking and scary. I’m cutting way down. It’s horrible. I don’t want my brain sucked out or all my personal information tracked by giant corporations. I don’t want to be tracked and targeted by marketing companies. 
Last night we went to a store and looked at countertop samples. We’re looking for white quartz like we had at our old house. After that we stopped at our old Denny’s for dinner. We hadn’t been there in a long time. I had pumpkin pecan pancakes and eggs and it was great. Now I have an urge to make a pumpkin pecan crisp. 

I picked up my new ID. That felt good but I’m still not sure I even ever want to use it. I guess it’s just to have the option. I drove back to Huntley up State Street (31) in Elgin and got on I-90 west to Huntley. I stopped at Aldi to get some ingredients and then on the way home drove by and around the Deerpath  facility that one of my interviews yesterday was for. It was for a part time activity assistant. Most all the residents there are physically handicapped and many in motorized scooters. They all have their own little studio apartments there with shared dining and activity areas. It wouldn’t pay well but I like the idea of working there part time and helping those people. It’s about 7 blocks from my house. 
I’ve been feeling so good lately though, do I even want to work and expose myself to others germs? Should I? Or should I just stay home and keep walking my dog and exercising? I’m now a Sun City neighborhood rep and on two other committees and want to be in concert band and chorus when things open back up. Maybe I’ll just find some online job.


Mike is very stodgy and pragmatic and thinks I’m fickle and change my mind a lot. I like to explore all the possibilities and investigate, touch, feel, taste and think things over before I finally decide. I weigh the pros and cons and try to prepare for worse case scenario.
You have to entertain different ideas and scenarios before you decide. Then once you do you might still keep checking and second guessing yourself. Then once you set course you just keep pushing and working and trudging through the deepest snow to get there. Once you’re there you might find it wasn’t what you thought it would be and you move on again. I think the key is to remain flexible and open to change and new ideas. 

1:48pm. I made some goulash and it’s simmering on the stove. I also made some lemon loaf and I cut it up and covered it with foil. I’m crazy about that stuff.
I took Bitzi outside and we dug up and transplanted some more perennial flowers in the front area where we had the tree and bushes taken out. It’s a work in progress. Next year it should fill in better and actually look like something.  I like the assorted perennials “cottage garden” look. Let’s hope it turns out that way and not some hillbilly from hell look.’
I am getting a new IRA and have to move a bunch of stuff so just got an email from the secretary to sign stuff. There has been too much to take care of lately with TRS, job hunting and this stuff.Gaaaah
It’s a beautiful warm sunny day out today. I should go on another walk or bike ride.

Thursday, September 10

Breathe deep the gathering gloom

8:40am I’ve been up about an hour. I slept like a slab of cement all night. When I woke up Mike was already up and had taken out the trash and recycling, cleaned up the kitchen,  taken Bitzi outside, fed and watered her and made my coffee. How sweet of him. I made pancakes for us For breakfast. He’s in the shower now getting ready to start work. Most mornings I get up, have my coffee and read his paper The Daily Herald Daily Herald and share a bunch of stories on social media. I try to share sports stories because that’s Mikes department he’s the head of. I try to promote his company in these trying times. 

I canceled my indoor pool slot again today. It’s too damned chilly. We sign up online for one of five daily time slots. There are only ten people allowed at a time. We have to come in wearing our suits and leave wearing our wet suits. We’re not allowed to use the locker rooms. We have to scan our Sun City residents card to be allowed into the lodge then walk a long way down the corridor to the pool / fitness area and then wait to be called up to the desk one at a time and get our forehead temperature scanned, then scan our member card again, then we have to leave our shoes on a tray and enter the pool area. There are no chairs in there to use at all nor are we allowed to use the house pool noodles or foam dumbbells. When we’re done we just towel off and leave. Now that it’s chilly out this is a bigger hassle. 

I’m going to run over to Aldi for a few things and then repot my crazy alien- looking weird overgrown cacti that Sallie gave me Saturday. 

Last night for dinner we had the pork roast from the crockpot, mashed potatoes, roasted vegetables, corn and dinner rolls. I thought the roast was fine but not great. It was a pre-seasoned roast when I bought it. I usually steer clear of those. 

Wednesday, August 12


Yesterday I went for my annual physical and bloodwork ( free with my teacher insurance that’s changing August 31 to my retirement insurance so figured I’d get it done).

9:03 Now I’m trying to use my old janky iPad keyboard case that doesn’t fit the iPad right and the keyboard keys feel all junky and hollow plastic like a toy. This has been sitting around unused for a couple years -unused as I had my much nicer keyboard on my work iPad but I turned that in in May so haven’t really bothered it with it much until now. But now I feel like I ought to at least give it another try. So here goes. The part of the keyboard case that actually holds the iPad is too wide so it slides down a little bit but it rests on a track on the keyboard part so that’s not that big of a deal. The key action feels awkward and junky but then I haven’t even been typing for quite a while so that’s not going to matter in the long run. I had a nice new work laptop too that I barely used (preferring the iPad) but that got turned in too. As of yet I can not justify buying a new one. I’m kind of in use it up, recycle, repurpose mode. 

I’ve been searching -kinda- for a new job. I’m not really sure I even want or need a job but have been looking and applying on Indeed and Snagajob apps. I’ve had a couple phone interviews but just kind of fizzled out in the middle and told them no thank you. Maybe I don’t really want another job. Maybe the universe wants me to live a simple, humble, poor Amish life. Maybe the universe will bring me the new job when it’s time. Maybe the universe doesn’t want me working while the pandemic is still going on. I believe in a higher power and things all happen when and as they’re supposed to.

Now I’m getting a little more used to this janky keyboard. 
Mike’s typing skills are phenomenal. I have never seen anyone else type with such ferocious speed and accuracy. I sure don’t like him watching me try to type. I used to like typing and considered myself pretty good back in the day when there were actual typewriters.

I’m taking Bitzi to the groomer at 10 and going to buy a new toilet seat for my bathroom. My seat has a big crack in the side and I’m not getting any more thigh pinches! I’m pretty sure everything in the house is the original from 21 years ago. I deserve a new toilet seat.

Today is garbage day. I’m sitting at the kitchen table typing with the sliding screen door open. I can hear the garbage truck booming and whooshing as it goes along our street stopping at each house. 

We had a lady who does cabinet painting come over and check out our kitchen cabinets and she will give us an estimate on painting them. I’m also buying an additional pantry cabinet to add to the side of the existing (small, inadequate) set up. We’re going to paint, install new hardware, sink, quartz counters and bright under cabinet lighting. The new pantry cabinet I want is at Menards and is ClearVue brand and has a ton of space and nice pull-out drawers.. The existing pantry cabinet is gong to house some of the TV media stuff when we mount  the TV on the living room wall behind it. I also want to install an inset electric fireplace beneath the TV. And we’re getting luxury plank vinyl flooring in the kitchen, living room, front room and entryway. That will also snowball in to painting all the doors and trim..........Not sure how soon this will start but I’m gong to keep typing on my janky keyboard for the time being. I have thought about work from home online jobs, perhaps transcription but that would require me to type faster and more accurately. Medical transcription jobs require a training course and certificate I believe. My efforts at blogging so far have just been personally therapeutic and not gained any other value at all to be honest. I guess I’ll just have to keep investigating.

My oldest sister Vicki is doing better now. She had a very bad bowel blockage but that’s been resolved. She’s feeling better and perkier and more like her old self again. My oldest daughter took my youngest granddaughter, Hennessy, and went back to Muncie  Indiana with her husband for his construction job. She went with him last week while I kept both her girls and my youngest daughter Sarah’s boys. Having them all together was a mistake but now I know and won’t do it again. We survived.

2:25 pm

Bitzi got a great cut at the groomer. Everybody loves her and she loves going and seeing all the different dogs. I got my new toilet seat at Walmart and Mike put it on during his lunch break, although he said it was a giant pain in the butt squeezing back in that dinky toilet closet inside the much bigger master bathroom. One of the bolts (surely had been on there for 21 years) was rusted and broken off while he was trying to get them off so he had to go out to the garage and find a wrench. But he got it done then I scrubbed and cleaned and disinfected the whole bathroom. It needed to be done.

My lab tests results all came back fine and normal. I am very grateful and feel blessed considering everyone our age on blood pressure, blood sugar, cholesterol, etc.... meds. I feel blessed.  I made an appointment for my mammogram for next Tuesday morning. It’s been two years. Since my sister Vicki had breast cancer I’m considered higher risk and have to get them more often I guess. 

We’re redecorating the spare bedroom and gave away the full bed that was in there. We also have a foam mattress topper and some old pillows to get rid of but we forgot to put them out for the trash. We going to paint in there and fill the nail holes and get a new futon and a little desk table for me. I like to just get shit done and Mike moves at a cautious glacial pace with everything.

The more I think about it the more picky I feel about taking another different job. I don’t want to drive more than a few miles. If it requires much driving at all, screw it. I don’t want anything with stress or drama. If it has that then screw it. It has to pay a decent rate. If it doesn’t, screw it. It cannot contain much germ exposure at all. If it does, then I’m out. That pretty much narrows down the field. The older I get, the faster I know right away if I like someone or something. I just get a vibe or a gut feeling. I am superficially pleasant and social with most people but my guard is always up for users, emotional vampires, freaks, weirdos, controllers, assholes...... For me to let my guard down and be genuinely comfortable and sincerely honest takes a lot. And once in a very great while I meet someone and know right away but those are few and far between. Only a couple times in your life do you earn a true blue heart to heart risk your life friend. Those people are the roots of your tree, your soul, your existence. Those people are the ones who you know will always be there for you in spirit even if you don’t hear from them for years. The other people are the limbs, the branches, the leaves.....and if those happen to blow away or fall off on their own your tree roots will still survive and maybe grow stronger because of it.

We had some much leftover food in the fridge from when the kids were here. The last couple days we’ve been trying to use it up and clean out the fridge. Neither one of us needs to be eating much and especially not kid junk food.  

This afternoon I’ve been doing laundry and outside watering my flowers. I’m going to dig up and move a bunch of flowers in the next few days to the new bare spot in front where we had the tree and bushes removed. I’d really like to get a couple knockout roses and plant in there too but don’t know if any stores have them now. They’re more early spring or summer plants in the stores usually. It would be nice to try to plant them and get a bit established before winter though. Maybe tomorrow I’ll go look at Lowes.

Next week on Friday is a small family wedding for Mike’s nephew (godson) and they are keeping it to 50 people. Originally before the pandemic it was going to be a big fancy event at a country club. And it’s be postponed and rescheduled a couple times so now it’s for a much smaller group in the bride’s parents’ back yard. Semi-formal attire requested. In a back yard. I’ll have to be covered in deep woods OFF or dip myself in pure DEET . I really dread his family functions. Everyone is so loud and talks at the same time about themselves.

Monday, June 22

Easing into a new life phase

8:33am Monday June 22, 2020

It’s getting ready to rain and storm soon. The sky is overcast and the temperature is unusually cool. The birds are singing outside. I can hear them through the back screen door. It’s a very tranquil soothing sound. The puppy is passed out on the area rug at my feet here in the front sitting room, worn out from her morning of walks and play. She has a vet appointment tomorrow for puppy shots. Mike is at physical therapy and will be back shortly and get to work. I’m going to try to get him to move his laptop and work stuff to the kitchen table so I can get in that office and purge my school stuff I no longer need.

8:57.    I just took his laptop, papers, pens and stuff and put them on the kitchen table as we discussed yesterday. He just came through the garage door into the laundry room, glanced in the office and yelled “ Whoa! Where’d all my stuff go?” Uh, hello.....
All my crazy accumulated teaching stuff is going to take some time to sort through. Trying to move forward into my next chapter. I’ve applied for a few jobs but so far nothing is right yet. I want the job to be something here in Huntley that’s easy and no stress or drama. I’m either under or over qualified for most things that fit my criteria. I may just start my own fabulous little business. There are lots of options I’m exploring.
My ex starts his chemo tomorrow. From what my kids say his condition is really bad and the situation is grim, this is effecting my kids and the dynamic between them.

9:28 I just went out to the big side yard flower bed ( we just put in last year after we moved) and pulled a bunch of grass and weeds and I took my slippers and chopped out a bunch of tiny tree suckers coming up from the tree by the street. Since our house is on a corner the front ( East) and side ( north) are visible to everyone driving by. Many people have commented on my new flower bed. Everyone here in Sun City keeps their yards very nice. 

Testing testing testing

I’m trying to figure out how to work this Amazon Affiliate business in a way that I can easily manage.  Discount birdbath!  I hope I’m doing...