Michael is watching golf / sleeping / snoring on the living room couch. He’s been back in the office most of the day paying bills and doing work stuff. Yesterday while I was gone he went over to his daughter Shannon’s in Arlington Heights to see the baby ( Jackson) who is 3 months old now. Mikes mother, son and daughter-in-law were there too. I missed it because I was driving the girls home and bringing the boys back.
I took the boys and the puppy to the garden this morning early then we went to Walmart and then fishing at the lake here in Sun City. We didn’t catch anything and are going back later switching worms for chicken liver as bait. Then we’re going to build a fire in the fire pit and make s’mores. It seems like Mike is too tired or too busy to do anything with me anymore but he has time for golf and his family. I’m pretty fed up and tired but it sure doesn’t do any good to say anything as he flies into a rage and gets all self defensive. He doesn’t ever want to do anything or plan anything. I just feel like I do everything myself. I’ve had a couple new neighbors asked me if I’m a widow as I’m the only one they ever see out in the yard or walking. I’m frustrated but there’s nothing I can do. There are too many other things and people to worry about.
The boys are stashed away in the spare bedroom playing games on their tablets. Bitzi is sleeping in her crate, drying off after I gave her a bath and trimmed her face hair.
I went outside and pulled up a few perennials and transplanted them then picked flowers and brought them inside and put them in a vase of water. The two flower bouquets I got for retirement were drooping so I threw them away this morning.
4:01pm. I went out back to water my flowers. My 7 year old grandson Oscar came out and asked me if he could take Bitzi outside on the leash. I said “okay be careful with her” and kept watering. About ten minutes later I came in and heard the laundry room door slam ( it happens all the times. There’s an air vacuum when you open the door going to the garage.) It was Oscar who accidentally did it. He’s seven. Mike, still comatose flopped on the couch yells “ GOD DAMN IT!” I said you’ve done that yourself many times. He said that’s third time he’s done it. I just went out in front to water grumbling to myself that he’s a fucking grouchass ogre. We’ll see when his daughters baby Jackson gets a little older and I yell and cuss at him. Jesus H. I do not need this shit.
I’ve stopped reading / watching the news as much as I had been. I just can’t take it any more.I’ve gotten off Facebook and other social media for now. ( I do like to watch animal videos on TikTok though) I’m tired of the bullshit and drama. I just want to tend my flowers and puppy, love my grandkids and avoid crap. I don’t think that’s too much to ask.
6:46. Now Mike’s trying to be extra nice and play with the boys and took them to get McDonalds’. I’m still ticked about the way he’s acted all day and he knows it. Of course he’ll never admit he was wrong or apologize.Ever.
8:18 Mike went out to the garden with the boys and me and helped fill up the ground and weeds ( for the first time ever) then helped the boys get their bath once we got home and then made us all a s’more. .......
Sarah said her dad is so weak now he’s using a walker. She said she feels like she’s watching him die. He’s got his port in but still not sure when the chemo is starting. I feel so sorry for what Sarah is going through with her father. I gave her chicken and dumplings and a crocheted blanket to give him. She said he barely eats. Despite everything that happened I never wished anything like this on him.