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Showing posts with label summer. Show all posts
Showing posts with label summer. Show all posts

Monday, August 17

Pandemic

I’m drinking my second cup of coffee for the morning. I’ve taken Bitzi out once. I’ve done a few household chores, ate some Raisin Bran, threatened to discipline Mike for his harsh smart-ass comments - a typical day. Now he’s back in his hole starting to work. He has Zoom meetings to attend today and all sorts of BS. I am way past sick of this whole pandemic business. I wish it were over. I wish it was safe. I wish it could go back to the way it was. It will never be the same again.






I’m signed up for Music & Moves class at 11 and light yoga at 12, both at the pavilion. I’m not feeling it this morning but intend to go. I’m sure it will get better as I get started. It’s a nice calm sunny day. I need to move my body as much as I can. I need to quit eating Klondike bars. I’ve had some reconsidering thoughts about the old friends. Maybe I’ll reach out but let them know how I feel. People aren’t mind readers and I will say that over the years I’ve always had a crazy amount of super busy and drama going on in my life. I can’t deny that fact. I guess it wouldn’t hurt to reach out. AGAIN......

We have tentatively decided to have a neighborhood block party in late September or early October. Not as hot or as many bugs out then.  People usually bring their own lawn chairs and drinks and set up on peoples’ driveways in Sun City. I’ll have beverages and snacks on hand.

My grandsons start in-person school in Lewistown today. My granddaughters in Canton start e-learning school Wednesday. It’s kind of weird to not be going back but I am not regretful at all. I believe my former colleagues have a whole week this week of e-learning training in preparation for the 8/24 student start. I thank my lucky stars I am not in that mess.

Once again I’m typing on my janky keyboard with the little piece of nano tape stuck to the back of my iPad to keep it from slipping off the holder that doesn’t fit. I’m more used to the key action now at least. It works . No sense in buying a new one. I’ve pretty much stopped looking for jobs. I’m gong to wait until after my retirement checks and lump sum payment and new insurance and all the jazz is done to see how things actually shake out. I may not need or want a job. I have plenty to do. Also whenever Sun City really opens up there are lots of clubs, activities, classes and trips to take advantage of that I couldn’t do when I was working. I have a friend who works from home doing medical coding but I’d have to have training to do that. Or transcription work but that mostly takes training classes too.

I’d like a job petting animals or tending plants and flowers. I don’t have any people beating my door down to hire me for those things. I’m just going to be me and freestyle it for a while.












The lady who came to look at our kitchen cabinets about painting them still hasn’t gotten back to us with an estimate. I like to just get shit done. I hate the dicking around waiting bullshit. With anything anytime. I hate it. If she doesn’t get back with us this week screw her we’ll get somebody else. There are a whole lot of things I want to get done and Mike always wants to be late and drag his feet and take forever on everything anyway. I need my cabinets painted, new hardware and under cabinet lighting installed, the new pantry cabinet, new sink and countertop, the flooring, the tv mounted and hardware installed in the old pantry. I need shit to start moving. I am not always a patient person. I agreed to this house that Mike wanted and loved with the stipulation we would redo the kitchen. The kitchen is old and dated and depressing to me. I hate it. It embarrasses me. I want it frickin fixed and I’m tired of waiting. I hate the cabinets, I hate the flooring, I hate the counters and the sink, the dim lighting.BUT IT IS FUNCTIONAL.  I’ll just make do until I can do better. I am grateful and have more than I deserve. I don’t mean to sound like a greedy ungrateful bitch. I forget myself sometimes. I do have my dreams though..........

I still haven’t done my digging and transplanting. I’ll have to look at the weather forecast and see if there’s a cooler day after it rains. That would be ideal, otherwise I’ll just do it. I have a couple bushes to dig up and move and a bunch of perennials to move, fertilize and water the hell out of. I guess there’s no time like the present . I’ll get it done this week, I promise. I also have to rip out all the garden stuff and throw in the compost barrel to clean it up so they can till it under this fall. I’ll have to make a list so I don’t leave anything off. That should keep me moving and out of trouble.

I’m trying not to read the news as much -too disturbing with all the rising Covid-19 numbers and all the racial and political furor. I am going to watch some of the Democratic convention tonight. I believe next week is the Republican convention. Gotta watch some of both of those.

I’m continuing to have some diverticulitis swelling, warmth and mild pain in my lower left abdomen. It has never been acute, just annoying and bothersome. I know if I eat popcorn and junk food it’s worse and I’ve eaten that this past week. My left knee is still not right but not acute. I haven’t been wearing my knee brace for a few weeks now but it still reminds me every day to be careful. I have some lower back funk and my left wrist has something wrong. All signs of aging. All signs of the high miles that are on this old jalopy. I’ll just keep doing the best I can with what I have. 

Bitzi is staring a hole through me from her kitchen pen so that must mean she needs to go out. 


2:14 I’m home again. At the first exercise/dance class this morning I got overheated and started feeling pukey and my knee was hurting bad and snapping so I left and came home. I’m aggravated with myself. Such a puss to whimp out on a dumb class. I skipped the yoga class too. I like the pool exercise better and I can do my own stretches at home.I just took a typing test for an online transcription job for the hell of it. It was not good. This keyboard doesn’t help, but to be honest I’m just not that good even if it was a great keyboard. I am rusty. Oh well. I suck.......

I cooked a few chicken breast pieces that were in the freezer with garlic, pepper, red pepper flakes and sesame oil. I’ll dice that up and add it to the pho noodles for dinner.Use it up. I spent so much money on groceries and eating out when the kids were here and trying to use things up that we have at home.

It looks a bit overcast but I don’t think it’s supposed to rain. I think my best bet weather-wise for the digging and transplanting is Wednesday. It’s supposed to be cooler. I’ll water extra good tomorrow night to make the digging easier. 



Little Arlo who is three started going to preschool today so he feels like a big boy like his brothers. They’re all three so cute. 
Mike was just out here in the kitchen. He has a zoom meeting now and went back to his office hole. I’m taking Bitzi out again and also to get the mail.

Bitzi still doesn’t get freedom to roam the entire house. I let her have “free time” in the house several times a day but we watch her. She is not allowed to go in the bedrooms by herself and isn’t supposed to be on the living room carpet although that’s where she heads every time we look the other way. She is still a mischievous puppy who is looking for stuff to attack and chew up.

3:28 I just gave Bitzi a bath in the utility sink and now she’s zooming through the house like a jackrabbit.

Saturday, August 15

Saturday, August 8

I have become comfortably numb

8:39am I’ve been up for a couple hours. I’m waiting for the UPS store and Kohl’s to open so I can take in some Amazon returns. I started feeling a little creepy with a sore throat last night. I gargled with salt water, flushed my sinuses and took a Benadryl. I slept pretty well but I still feel a bit of a sore throat and a little feverish but my temperature is normal.


2:36pm we went to a couple stores to return a few of my Amazon things and came back home and cleaned up some kid messes and put bedding away and ran the vacuum.
Our next door neighbor, John, is 100 years old today and some of the neighbors put together a parade for him and some military guys came dressed in uniforms and gave him military salutes and medals. I took a bunch of pictures and Mike is getting a story in tomorrow’s paper ( I’ll get credit for photos!). At five the neighbors on the other side of John and his wife Fran, Steve & Marcia are holding a birthday party on their driveway so I’m taking down my rolling Bluetooth speak and have created a playlist of 40s and 50s and military music for the party. I have a big insulated thermos I filled with ice and sugar-free lemonade & vodka to take. I’m already buzzed from tasting it while I was mixing it up.





















Thursday, July 9

The heat is on

I haven’t really posted or written much in a while. I want to say there’s been too much going on but I’m not sure that is quite accurate. I haven’t been sure what to say. Through this whole pandemic clusterf*ck I feel like I’ve been under water holding my breath waiting for it to be over so I could come to the surface sunlight and all would be well. The boogie man would be gone. Donald Trump would be gone. The corona virus would be gone. The political unrest would be gone. Cancer would be gone.

But no.

 Here I am and the shit’s still the same. You can’t be too tired. You can’t deny it or ignore it. You can assume somebody else is going to fix it. You have to take a deep breath, pull up yer britches and keep trudging on through the everyday muck and bile of living in this world. You have to pause and revel in the few and far between sweet spots but don’t ever let yourself expect the sweet spots or take them for granted. Oh no. Because karma is always watching your ungrateful ass and will jump up and kick you in the teeth when you least expect it. 

Be constantly grateful  for every sunrise, every rain drop, every morsel of food. Tomorrow it could all be gone.


This is for you.














Thursday, June 18

Rip snorting

7:14 am.  I’m awake and still foggy headed. I’m sitting here drinking my coffee. Mike is bustling around in the kitchen loading the dishwasher. The landscapers came today - normally they come on Friday. It took them under fifteen minutes to buzz the yard and vanish. I’m taking the boys back today - meeting Sarah in Lacon. They started getting homesick yesterday and asked if they could go home a day early. I’m tired. I got too much sun on my arms and back while working in the yard yesterday. I had put sunscreen on in the morning but didn’t reapply it in the afternoon. I’m planning to leave here with the boys by 8:30 and I’m taking the puppy along so I’ll have to stop to let her out to drink & play. 

Wednesday, June 17

Early bird special

6:00 I woke up really early this morning for some reason and got a few things done. I took Bitzi out and now she’s having playtime with her squeaky bone and chew rag and chicken chew ring. She’s been getting pretty cranked up and wild lately. She gets really excited with the kids.Im taking the boys to Lake Geneva public beach later this morning. We’ll go for a while as long as it’s safe and they keep their distance. It’s a nice clean pretty big beach with lifeguard and ropes for the kids. My knee is still bothering me so I don’t know how fun I will be. I’ll probably just sit there watching and trying to not get sunburned. 



I have laundry in the dryer, put the dishwasher stuff away, reloaded it, gathered the trash and recycling. I’m going outside to water in a minute. The two old geezers who live in the house beside us have nothing to do but sit around looking for every tiny little thing they can find to complain to me about. Because they’re ancient dinosaurs I just clench my teeth and nod and walk away. They made some comment about my dropping hostas I transplanted by the mailbox. 

7:03 The boys are awake now. Mike just left for physical therapy. When he gets back he’s going to take my car and fill it with gas. I went out front and watered and transplanted some lilies to the mailbox. I’m hoping today goes smoothly. 
7:41 just discovered the boys didn’t bring swimming trunks. The said they can swim in their shorts but I don’t want to risk the shorts fall down or off in the water. We’ll be running in Walmart. I’ve got to beach bags packed and ready to go. 

1:55 We’re back home from the beach. I made quesadillas for lunch and am doing two loads of laundry. The boys are lying in their room playing on their tablets. We only stayed at the beach about ninety minutes but it was starting to get crowded so we left. I told the boys to keep their distance from people and we weren’t staying long.






Tuesday, June 16

Sitting by the lake with an ice pack on my left knee











2:39pm

This morning I took the boys fishing again. Due to my knee issue I didn’t climb down the rocky bank and cast a rod out. I sat in a chair on the hill above where they were fishing with an ice pack and ace bandage on my knee. Something inside my knee snapped with each step as I carried my folding chair to the shade. It’s better than it was two weeks ago with only occasional mild pain. I’m figuring it will heal itself like it always does. This all started in 82 just before I had Samantha. 

After fishing we came home and cleaned up and then went to Costco in Lake In The Hills. Then we came home and the boys helped me chop up stuff and peel shrimp for jambalaya. The base of it is simmering on the stove now. I didn’t make it as spicy as I normally do because of the boys. Tomorrow I’m teaching the boys to the Lake Geneva public beach when they first open at 9. OR maybe we’ll go to the beach, stake out a spot and put our stuff down and then go to my favorite nail place and I get a pedicure and then we go back  to the beach an hour or so later when the water is a little warmer. is warmer. We’ll stay for an hour or two unless it starts getting too crowded. They have been very good about wearing their masks, using hand sanitizer and keeping their distance from people. I’m taking them home Friday morning and meeting Sarah in Lacon. I’m tired. After dinner I have to go water the front, back and both sides of the yard then drive out to the garden and water. The boys want to go fishing again tonight. I’m tired. 









Sunday, June 14

Flowers in a vase

2:50pm Sunday 



Michael is watching golf / sleeping / snoring on the living room couch. He’s been back in the office most of the day paying bills and doing work stuff. Yesterday while I was gone he went over to his daughter Shannon’s in Arlington Heights to see the baby ( Jackson) who is 3 months old now. Mikes mother, son and daughter-in-law were there too. I missed it because I was driving the girls home and bringing the boys back.

I took the boys and the puppy to the garden this morning early then we went to Walmart and then fishing at the lake here in Sun City. We didn’t catch anything and are going back later switching worms for chicken liver as bait. Then we’re going to build a fire in the fire pit and make s’mores. It seems like Mike is too tired or too busy to do anything with me anymore but he has time for golf and his family. I’m pretty fed up and tired but it sure doesn’t do any good to say anything as he flies into a rage and gets all self defensive. He doesn’t ever want to do anything or plan anything. I just feel like I do everything myself. I’ve had a couple new neighbors asked me if I’m a widow as I’m the only one they ever see out in the yard or walking. I’m frustrated but there’s nothing I can do. There are too many other things and people to worry about. 

The boys are stashed away in the spare bedroom playing games on their tablets. Bitzi is sleeping in her crate, drying off after I gave her a bath and trimmed her face hair.
I went outside and pulled up a few perennials and transplanted them then picked flowers and brought them inside and put them in a vase of water. The two flower bouquets I got for retirement were drooping so I threw them away this morning. 















4:01pm. I went out back to water my flowers. My 7 year old grandson Oscar came out and asked me if he could take Bitzi outside on the leash. I said “okay be careful with her” and kept watering. About ten minutes later I came in and heard the laundry room door slam ( it happens all the times. There’s an air vacuum when you open the door going to the garage.) It was Oscar who accidentally did it. He’s seven. Mike, still comatose flopped on the couch yells “ GOD DAMN IT!” I said you’ve done that yourself many times. He said that’s third time he’s done it. I just went out in front to water grumbling to myself that he’s a fucking grouchass ogre. We’ll see when his daughters baby Jackson gets a little older and I yell and cuss at him. Jesus H. I do not need this shit. 

I’ve stopped reading / watching the news as much as I had been. I just can’t take it any more.I’ve gotten off Facebook and other social media for now.  ( I do like to watch animal videos on TikTok though) I’m tired of the bullshit and drama. I just want to tend my flowers and puppy, love my grandkids and avoid crap. I don’t think that’s too much to ask.


6:46. Now Mike’s trying to be extra nice and play with the boys and took them to get McDonalds’. I’m still ticked about the way he’s acted all day and he knows it. Of course he’ll never admit he was wrong or apologize.Ever. 




8:18 Mike went out to the garden with the boys and me and helped fill up the ground and weeds ( for the first time ever) then helped the boys get their bath once we got home and then made us all a s’more. .......

Sarah said her dad is so weak now he’s using a walker. She said she feels like she’s watching him die. He’s got his port in but still not sure when the chemo is starting. I feel so sorry for what Sarah is going through with her father. I gave her chicken and dumplings and a crocheted blanket to give him. She said he barely eats. Despite everything that happened I never wished anything like this on him.

Ten tricks to stay positive

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