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Showing posts with label waiting. Show all posts
Showing posts with label waiting. Show all posts

Sunday, May 24

Today is the day


Coffee time in my pajamas with bare feet.
Mike is watching some cooking show.

Around 9:00 we’ll leave here to drive to Galena to pick up my puppy. Mike has still continued to complain about the cost but he pretty much complains about everything these days. I’m pretty f-ing sick of that shit and it’s getting harder to ignore it.every great once in a while I’ll blow my top and let him have it. I’m more like my dad in that respect. I’m thinking I’ll name the puppy Rosie but will wait until we meet her and get a feel for her personality.

I hope it’s nice weather for our drive. Late yesterday afternoon we got a terrible storm with a tornado nearby and massive pounding rain and flooding. I’m glad I got all my transplants in the ground before it hit!

I’ve applied for a couple more jobs locally. We’ll see if either one bites on the line. I’m not really sure about this but I don’t want to just sit around and atrophy. Also ever since Mike and I have been married I’ve covered him under my school district insurance. Now he’ll have to cover himself through his employer but there’s a high risk now that with the economy the way it is he may be out of a job and insurance before too long. He has a number of prescription maintenance drugs he’s on. He has hypertension and diabetes. Getting new health insurance will be pricey. I’m taking the TRS insurance option and my school district pays $426 a month toward my insurance each month until I qualify for Medicare. I’ll still pay some out of pocket but it sure helps. Anyway so I’ve been thinking of taking another full-time job with benefits until we’re both on Medicare and just pocketing the 400 every month. It needs to be a job close to home that isn’t too taxing. I applied at the local hospital here a few miles away as an oncology assistant. I’d have to complete some trading course but that’s okay. Lord knows I’ve spent a time of time in oncology departments over the years. 



Thursday, April 16

These are trying times


Mike is on a phone meeting with the high school sports editor in the back office behind two doors across the room and down the hall from me and I can still hear every word he says. He has a big boomy resonant voice- not as deep as Darth Vader but in the team picture.

The landscape crew has been working away in our yard for a couple hours this morning. They removed this odd dirt hump berm that had held these skinny evergreen carrot-shaped trees we had removed when we moved in last March. They also got up on the roof and cleaned all the gutters, re-edged the flower beds, mulched and put sod down. We used Renee Alvarez’s Greenside Up company at the old house for years. They’re such nice guys and do great work for reasonable prices. Our old house yard was MUCH bigger than this current one. 

It’s supposed to snow again today.

I couldn’t go to sleep last night for a long time. I don’t know what the deal was. I’ve been sleeping so good. Maybe my sleep tank was full.

Wednesday, April 15


8:29am W

I’ve just gotten washed and dressed and starting to blow the cobwebs out of my mind. This period of sheltering at home is just weird. I’ve never experienced anything like this aside from recovering from chemo and the stem cell transplant. I am very grateful my family and close friends are all healthy, we have a bountiful supply of food, a nice cozy little house in a nice community, very good health insurance, a comfy bed to sleep in each night. I should never want for anything or complain.

I was reading an article this morning that the Covid-19 virus doesn’t go away but stays in your system and can keep coming back ( that may be bullshit but it’s still scary) and also there supposedly is some coverup that this virus was actually created as a biological weapon by the Chinese and an accident occurred where it somehow got released and started spreading rapidly ( probably also bullshit but again scary). There are too many things out there to read now and too many people, like me, with the time to read them.  


I have three Zoom first private lessons this afternoon starting at 1:30 and going until 3:00, all good kids I normally had in weekly group lessons at school. 

The ground is covered with snow this morning. It snowed hard a couple times yesterday but then melted. Evidently it snowed a bunch during the night and it didn’t melt. I brought in all my potted plants yesterday. They’re probably going to wither and try to die on me now from the cold exposure. SOB. It just figures. I always get excited about spring coming and put my plants out too soon. 

Tuesday, April 14


11:16 am 

I have 3 Zoom meetings this afternoon with sixth grade band students: percussion, brass, Woodwinds.I sent them all reminder links yesterday. Tomorrow I’ll send out Zoom meeting reminder links for my fifth graders. Another teacher and I are managing 158 elementary band students from Elgin, South Elgin, Bartlett and Wayne with distance learning daily. We have a shared Google Classroom for each of the two grade levels, I am running the band blog and we’re both doing Zoom group and private lessons. I have six weeks until I retire and it’s dragging by given the situation we’re in. 

Mike is really stressed by everything and it’s becoming increasingly apparent. I don’t know what to do to help make it better. That across the board salary cut really punched him in the gut. That and the stock market. I just feel like I’ve been through so many disasters that this is just another one to get through. 
Hunker  down and grip  tight to the saddle horn an d hang on and it will eventually get better. 

It’s pretty cold and snowing heavily. I brought in the rest of my houseplants that we’re on the front porch and back patio. I’m sure they’re really pissed off and are going to die on me. It’s really to chilly and unpleasant to go out for a walk. I have more bread rising in the kitchen. 

I had a couple more kids request private Zoom lessons this morning so I scheduled them and sent them the links. That should help keep us occupied and out of trouble.

For some reason I’ve been dreaming a lot the past few weeks and I never dream. There’s something weird going on with me it seems. Perhaps some type of spiritual and / or sensory awakening? 

I bought some fresh sweet corn in the husk Saturday to have with Easter dinner Sunday but then forgot it. I’m going to cook it today otherwise it goes bad and starchy. 

11:49 I just cooked the corn on the cob. Really good yellow and white sweet corn. 

Tuesday, April 7



I woke up a couple hours ago wheezing and coughing. I got up and got a drink and tried to cough it out and tried to go back to sleep but every time I did I keep dreaming I had the virus and was being put in isolation on a ventilator. I kept dismissing it, trying to go back to sleep, trying to prop myself up higher on my wedge pillow to help me breathe but the wheezing was worse than normal so I just put a sweater over my pajamas and came out to the front sitting room so I wouldn’t wake Michael. I think I’ve just been reacting to the trees and bushes  budding lately causing my increased wheezing the past couple days. It’s just that there’s nonstop TV coverage of all the rising death numbers with this pandemic. In our county so far 234 now positive and 14 deaths. 

Yes I need to slap myself and snap the fuck out of it. Don’t be a sissy girl.

6:13 Now I made my second cup of coffee, tidied up the kitchen a bit, opened all the window blinds and used my Symbicort inhaler. I haven’t used it in a long time. I have 3 Zoom instrument sectional meetings with my sixth graders today. I did three private lessons yesterday. I have attended a few Zoom meetings and am becoming somewhat more comfortable with them although not at all at ease or fluent. Thursday I have sectionals with my fifth graders - higher numbers in the groups but I’m sure a lot of them won’t show up. We are just doing our best given the circumstances.
Mike has a Zoom work meeting to attend today, he is pretty damned grouchy and not at all technology friendly. He missed his company’s Zoom training when he took me to Loyola for my oncologist’s check up two weeks ago. I tried to help him learn Zoom last night but he was grouchy and snappy. One of his feet are sore crusty and cracked. He has diabetes and doesn’t take care of himself, watch his diet or check his blood sugar. Foot care is important for diabetics. Last night before I went to bed I got out this foot soak tub I have and had him put his feet in it and I poured peroxide over his foot cracks that are getting infected and are hurting him so much. He is on edge these days about a lot of things: his mother’s cancer and care and treatment, the economy, his job status ( they just cut everyone’s salary by 15% across the board and I’m retiring....), the epidemic and our future. He doesn’t want me going in stores at all now even with a mask and gloves. HE goes in the stores with no mask or gloves and just uses hand sanitizer. There are now twelve reported cases of the virus in our town ( Huntley). I’m not sure if there have been any deaths here but the neighboring towns have rapidly rising numbers of deaths from the virus.

As if those things weren’t enough, the whole politically divided atmosphere in our culture is nearly unbearable. I cannot imagine how so many people have been sucked up into the Trump cult. Seriously. All the white supremacists and KKK and dumb-ass big- mouthed violent nut jobs with their idiotic red MAGA  hats. It’s a growing cult.

Okay gotta get off this psycho rant and go for a walk! 

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