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Showing posts with label weakness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label weakness. Show all posts

Saturday, January 25

I will survive

Good morning. It’s 8:06 Saturday and I just woke up a while ago and am drinking my first coffee since last Saturday. I’ve been so sick all week I could barely eat or drink anything. I am sipping today’s coffee slowly. My gut has been very unhappy. I did manage to get up and take a shower, wash my hair, style it and put some lotion on my face and put on real clothes yesterday so I didn’t feel like such a troll. I  spent the week in pajamas or lounge pants, my hair up in a haggard bun and no makeup or moisturizer. I got pretty dehydrated and was startled Thursday when I was sitting at my bathroom vanity mirror and noticed how drawn and wrinkled and haggard I looked. My arms and hands were all dry and scaled and shriveled looking. I couldn’t sleep for about three days or keep my food or drink in that didn’t go straight through me. No wonder I’ve been so weak and unstable on my feet. Mike stayed home with me several days. So I’m feeling better but not 100%. I plan to go back to work Monday but take it easy. We shall see how it goes.

The situation with my oldest daughter is still going on. She is not responding to calls or texts-to me, her father, her siblings. She has only stated she’s fine and is de stressing and doesn’t want to talk. This has been going on for weeks. She’s thirty-seven so I just have to trust she’ll work out whatever it is. I can’t help but worry. I try to remind myself to have faith.

Thursday Mike and I were supposed to attend my first retirement meeting for this year’s retirees. Of course I was too sick to go so now I’ll have to try to play catch up and get the information I missed. Another hassle to chase down when I’m feeling exhausted. HR sent me a link about the insurance and TRS stuff- too much overwhelming information. Oh well it will all work out. Things always work out. 

In an attempt to build back some strength I’m going to try to move around more today, perhaps go outside and shovel a bit and get some fresh air. We’re supposed to get up to 7” and it’s still snowing. Mike did it by himself yesterday before he left for work. He has two bum shoulders that are going to need fixed before too much longer. Like everything else he keeps putting it off. He just wants to take care of me.

The ongoing political situation is nauseating, mind numbing, frightening and fascinating all at once. I watched quite a bit of the impeachment hearings this week. Adan Schiff was awesome, passionate and well spoken. We all know, unfortunately, that it will do no good and the Republicans have the Senate majority and will vote to keep Trump in office. It is unfathomable that we have a US president so similar to Hitler. His followers are a cult. How did this happen to the USA?  I have very little hope that the fall presidential election won’t be screwed by the Russians again. I read the Chicago Daily Herald, top stories from the Washington Post, New York Times, Huffington Post nearly  every day. I watch Anderson Cooper 360 on CNN, Real Time with Bill Maher on HBO and Fox News ( for conservative balance to be fair) but I still don’t have much clarity or faith in the state of our country.

11:35. I’ve been doing a little light housework and finally got around to watering my plants. A couple have not survived the winter. That’s the way it always goes. You can’t please everyone. The dead plants go out to the back side area of the house that I’ve designated the dump. Their pots and dirt will be used for other things next spring. It’s snowing pretty hard again. The snowflakes are big and fluffy coming down fast. To me this is the part of winter that’s a bucket of suck. The first part is okay but then about mid-January it starts to suck. I can seriously see us in a few years being January to March snow birds.

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