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Showing posts with label weird. Show all posts
Showing posts with label weird. Show all posts

Saturday, July 4

Independence Day

5:30am Saturday, July 4

Mike just left to play an early golf game with a couple friends. They went last week and are trying to make this a weekly early morning thing.I woke up soon after he got out of bed. This morning I’m going to take the dog out for a walk, go out to the garden to water and come home and watch Hamilton on my iPad on Disney +. Mike doesn’t care for musicals so it’s better for me to watch it without him. He mostly likes to watch cop, detective shows, the food network and Shark Tank. We both like Jeopardy and Real Time with Bill Maher and Anderson Cooper 360.Ive been doing a lot of gardening and my flower beds we created last summer are starting to fill in and look more mature. It takes a lot of watering, weeding, fertilizing, deadheading and transplanting but I get such joy and satisfaction from it. I love picking bouquets from my own garden to give as gifts. 
I’m drinking my first coffee now. Bitzi is still sleeping in her crate and the blinds are drawn. All is quiet aside from gentle bird noises outside. I love the stillness and soft glow of mornings. The news reports are saying the COVID-19 virus numbers are rapidly rising again. It’s seems that this awful plague will never end. 

I have volunteered to be one of three reps from my Sun City neighborhood (#3). I’ve talked to the two outgoing lady reps about it. Mostly my rep slot would include setting up two yearly parties / get together events. It doesn’t seem that it would be difficult, so I said I’d do it. I thought it would be a good way to get more involved in my neighborhood and meet more wouldn’t officially start until October. 

I’m trying to protect myself from getting too overwhelmed and freaked out by life these days. I’m watching less news and unfollowing unfriending people and groups on social media. I don’t want to hear / see / read a bunch of negative ridiculous conservative pro- trump swill. I’m just so tired of it. I’m now living in this 55+ community and there are lots of older ignorant brainless conservative pro-Trump stick up their asses types around here. I have to tread lightly and be good at changing the subject quickly. The zombies walk among us! 

Sunday, May 10

Dias de Madre

9:56am Sunday

I slept late this morning. Mike made me breakfast (he  almost never ever cooks). He made scrambled eggs with cheese, he heated up and gave me half a “ Supreme” brand tamale on my plate and toasted a piece of my homemade jalapeƱo- cheese bread and brought it to me in my reading area in the sitting room. Very nice. He knew I was pissed off at him last night. I didn’t say a word and just left him sitting alone for hours. He almost never apologizes. I do think sometimes he’s sorry he acts like an asshole big-mouthEd Fred Flintstone type but very very rarely actually utters an apology. I think it’s a man thing. It was the same type of deal with the first one ( admittedly MUCH much worse) but still unable to apologize or accept fault. At this point Mike and I are mostly just good friends and roommates and sometimes you just get sick of one another and need a break. I still can’t believe what an asshole ogre he was last night. I just don’t say anything because it’s no use. He doesn’t listen and always deflects it and ping pongs it back at me. Why bother to try after all this time?

Wednesday, April 15


8:29am W

I’ve just gotten washed and dressed and starting to blow the cobwebs out of my mind. This period of sheltering at home is just weird. I’ve never experienced anything like this aside from recovering from chemo and the stem cell transplant. I am very grateful my family and close friends are all healthy, we have a bountiful supply of food, a nice cozy little house in a nice community, very good health insurance, a comfy bed to sleep in each night. I should never want for anything or complain.

I was reading an article this morning that the Covid-19 virus doesn’t go away but stays in your system and can keep coming back ( that may be bullshit but it’s still scary) and also there supposedly is some coverup that this virus was actually created as a biological weapon by the Chinese and an accident occurred where it somehow got released and started spreading rapidly ( probably also bullshit but again scary). There are too many things out there to read now and too many people, like me, with the time to read them.  


I have three Zoom first private lessons this afternoon starting at 1:30 and going until 3:00, all good kids I normally had in weekly group lessons at school. 

The ground is covered with snow this morning. It snowed hard a couple times yesterday but then melted. Evidently it snowed a bunch during the night and it didn’t melt. I brought in all my potted plants yesterday. They’re probably going to wither and try to die on me now from the cold exposure. SOB. It just figures. I always get excited about spring coming and put my plants out too soon. 

Tuesday, April 14


11:16 am 

I have 3 Zoom meetings this afternoon with sixth grade band students: percussion, brass, Woodwinds.I sent them all reminder links yesterday. Tomorrow I’ll send out Zoom meeting reminder links for my fifth graders. Another teacher and I are managing 158 elementary band students from Elgin, South Elgin, Bartlett and Wayne with distance learning daily. We have a shared Google Classroom for each of the two grade levels, I am running the band blog and we’re both doing Zoom group and private lessons. I have six weeks until I retire and it’s dragging by given the situation we’re in. 

Mike is really stressed by everything and it’s becoming increasingly apparent. I don’t know what to do to help make it better. That across the board salary cut really punched him in the gut. That and the stock market. I just feel like I’ve been through so many disasters that this is just another one to get through. 
Hunker  down and grip  tight to the saddle horn an d hang on and it will eventually get better. 

It’s pretty cold and snowing heavily. I brought in the rest of my houseplants that we’re on the front porch and back patio. I’m sure they’re really pissed off and are going to die on me. It’s really to chilly and unpleasant to go out for a walk. I have more bread rising in the kitchen. 

I had a couple more kids request private Zoom lessons this morning so I scheduled them and sent them the links. That should help keep us occupied and out of trouble.

For some reason I’ve been dreaming a lot the past few weeks and I never dream. There’s something weird going on with me it seems. Perhaps some type of spiritual and / or sensory awakening? 

I bought some fresh sweet corn in the husk Saturday to have with Easter dinner Sunday but then forgot it. I’m going to cook it today otherwise it goes bad and starchy. 

11:49 I just cooked the corn on the cob. Really good yellow and white sweet corn. 

Sunday, April 12

Here comes Peter Cottontail

10:42 Sunday 4/12/20 Easter

I’m getting ready to go out for a walk in a little while. It’s chilly but the sun is out. I’m going to FaceTime call the kids this afternoon. I just discovered the little tomato and zinnia plants I grew in the house from seeds and put out on the patio the other day when it was so warm have now gone to shit from the cold snap. The zinnias are all dead and the three small trays of tomatoes look very sad and shitty. I drained the rain water from the bottom of their trays and brought them inside and put them on a little table by the back sliding glass door and put their plastic greenhouse covers on them. There’s probably no saving them but I’ll see. What a total dumbass I am to forget them out there. Total brain fart. 

 I have a turkey breast in the crockpot and prepped mixed berry crisp to put in the oven later. We’ll have mashed potatoes and gravy, green beans and carrots and fresh- baked bread with the turkey for our Easter dinner. I’m finally getting a little better at cooking smaller quantities. We no longer have the spare fridge and freezer in the garage like we did at our old house.

Yesterday I sent a deposit to a Shih Tzu breeder in Galena for a white and dark red spotted female puppy that will be ready to bring home on May 24. It’s pretty expensive but that’s how much they are. Mike is not happy but he’s pretty much pissy and grouchy about everything anyway so I don’t care. It’s not my fault his salary got cut and for now I’m making a lot more than him. Of course I’m retiring soon and my monthly salary will decrease considerably. I’m taking a lump sum rather than a changing yearly percentage increase so with that lump we’re paying off the house and my car. It’s not a huge amount but it will greatly decrease the monthly nut we have to cough up. Of course the stock market has taken a bad hit and the 401Ks are down considerably but I have faith we’re going to bounce back. I’m confident I’ll have some other job or side hustle. And I deserve my Shih Tzu puppy. I’ve been good. 


The meal is almost done. I’m just waiting for the berry cobbler to finish browning on top. Mike just took his clippers and trimmed his own hair then asked me to check around his ears to make sure it was even. It looks fine to me. He has hardly any hair left on the bottom sides and back. I’m not even sure what he trimmed but as long as he’s happy. He’s jumping in the shower now and then we’ll eat our lunch and then go for a drive.

I finally spoke to my oldest. daughter Friday. I hadn’t heard from her in months. She just wanted to be alone. It was good to talk to her. I didn’t press her on what the hell happened. I know she was diagnosed with fibromyalgia in November and the doctor was trying her on different doses of Cymbalta. I know she’s been going to physical therapy and counseling. Taking it in baby steps for now....
My stepdaughter is still struggling with pretty severe post partum depression. I’m not very close with her because she has never allowed me to be. Her mother and father were divorced long before I came along. 

Novel Corona virus cases in IL

3/17    Tested positive   115           1 death 

3/18       228         1 death 

3/19        422.         4 dead 

3/20.                       7 dead 

3/22.      753.       14  dead

3/30.   4596.        65deaths 

3/31.  9000.        105 deaths 

4/6    12263        307deaths 

4/8     13,549.     389 deaths 

4/9      15,  078.    462 deaths

4/10.    17887       596 

4/11      19,180.      677 

4/12.     20,852.      720

2:40. The dinner was very good. good. We actually sat at the table ( instead of eating in front of the living room TV like usual) and Mike said his Catholic meal blessing. I had to ask him to do it because I know that’s how he was raised. We didn’t say grace in my family at meals growing up but actually it was always kind of unspoken and implied. We raised and produced nearly all of our own food when I was a kid and we sure were grateful. Mike hasn’t been a practicing Catholic since 1978. I haven’t been a practicing anything since 1965. Our family attended the Wesley United Methodist church in Canton when I was little and my mother read the Bible to us every night. Mike’s family was really in to Catholic when he was a kid. They went to Catholic school, he was an alter boy and the whole spiel. These days I’m a big fan of Buddha. 

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