Thursday, October 12

Rainy day

6:36 am Thursday

It’s a rainy fall morning. My nose is runny and I’m a bit wheezy. I just used my inhaler and to a xyzol allergy tablet. I’m leaving in a few minutes to drive to Streamwood to be a floater sub at an elementary school. I subbed at a different school yesterday and was in three different kindergarten classes. I like these floater sub jobs when I’m done by 2pm. Quick & easy. 

Tomorrow we’re driving to Moline to go on a Mississippi riverboat fall foliage cruise but the weather is supposed to be rainy so I don’t know how enjoyable it will be. My sister, her husband and some other friends are going too. Mike and I are staying overnight in a hotel after the cruise. 

Tuesday, October 3

Whisper Words Of Wisdom Let It Be

I’m supposed to go to a water aerobics class this morning but I didn’t sleep well, my stomach is weird and I’m feeling squishy. Hopefully this will resolve and I’ll feel good enough to go. Last night I had a pretty good time at alto sectionals at Linda’s house. The hour goes by quickly. I don’t really need to go but it’s good bonding with the others. There are a lot of basic musicianship reminders to the others who don’t know stuff. I really like most of the pieces for the Christmas concert and am enjoying working on them. Tonight is full chorus rehearsal. It’s two hours long. It’s an SATB chorus of about seventy-some singers. 

Later this morning we’re taking the ninety-two year old neighbor to the DMV to get her license renewed. She has to take the vision and driving tests. Her license lapsed while she was in the hospital recently. She’s very nervous about going. I don’t blame her. 

Tomorrow I’m driving down to central Illinois to see family for a few days. The scenery should be beautiful this time of year.

Yesterday I kept seeing video clips of the  hearing for Trump’s New York fraud charges. What a crazy, crazy shit show that is. What on earth will ever stop him, shut him up and make him go away?

I hadn’t looked at my account for a long time. I canceled my membership a couple years ago. Last night I found some new old photos of my mother and some other interesting facts. How cool….

Sunday, October 1

Sunday morning

Good morning world! I slept much better last night than previous nights and am feeling rested and improved. My breathing is better and it looks like a nice day outside. 
Today I’ll spend time outside and get some fresh air and exercise. I’ll go to the pool and sauna once or twice if time. Mike bought sub sandwich fixings at the deli yesterday for today’s Bears game but I don’t even care to watch because they’re so bad. I’ll just go practice my chorus songs while he’s watching it. 

I wish the political climate in our country would improve. There has been increasingly awful ridiculous polarizing stuff going on for way too long. Can’t we just have decent, honest, fair, smart people as our politicians? I feel I’m a left leaning independent but don’t want to sign up for either of the two main parties- too much BS and stink on both. Surely our country can elect better leaders and find our way out of this dense mess.

Today I’m going to get up on a chair in the garage and get down my bags of winter clothing off the metal wire ceiling racks above the cars and go through them. I’m also going to sort out and round up summer clothing and put those away. It still bothers me we don’t have a basement. Mike is the one who wanted this house without a basement. Oh well, we make do. 

Saturday, September 30

Lung function

Yesterday afternoon we drove over to Casey and Jackie’s house in Glen Ellen to watch baby Charlotte while they took 3 year old Aiden to the movies for the first time ever to see Paw Patrol. Charlotte was a good baby. She’s starting to walk and talk. She played around a couple hours and was put down to bed easily. Aiden had a great time at the movie. I woke up around 2 am this morning wheezing pretty badly and struggling to breathe. I got up and used my inhaler, got a drink of water, coughed some stuff up and tried to go back to sleep. This repeated over the next few hours. Around 9am I took Bitzi on a mile and a half way. I got pretty short of breath and dizzy a couple times. I was drenched with sweat when we got home. I’m sure it was good for me. I’m considering going to the pool now.
I’ve been practicing my chorus music. I didn’t go to rehearsal last week or practice because I was sick. It’s still pretty hard still. My lungs are still congested, short of breath and my vocal cords are all strained from coughing. I’m a mess. The steroids are making my vision blurry. More mess. 

This too shall pass. 

Friday, September 29


It’s Friday morning. I’m going to the lodge to use the weight machines and do a water aerobics class. I haven’t been in a couple weeks. I’ve been sick over a week and now getting back on track. I made sausage links, over-easy eggs and waffles for breakfast. I have to eat before I take my pills.

I went to an actual salon and got an expensive cut and highlights yesterday afternoon. I hadn’t been in years. I was aghast at the price but I’m pleased with the results. My hair is a lot blonder now. 

I’m looking forward to my pool time. I always feel somewhat spiritually purified in the water. We’re going to Glen Ellen later to babysit Charlotte. We missed babysitting last week when I was sick.
Next Friday I’m going down to Lewistown to see my family. It’s the annual fall scenic drive so traffic will be nuts. 

11:25 I’m back home now. I used about 5 resistance machines for about 20 slow reps each. I didn’t want to overdo it. I got in the pool early ahead of class about 20 minutes and did some stretches and exercises. Before class started I was feeling kind of wheeze-y and yucky and tired. I intended to leave class early but once we got started I got my second wind and stayed the whole class. After that I got in the hot tub for about 10 minutes then the sauna for a couple minutes. Most of the time there’s some odd old man in the sauna and I don’t stay long at all. Most old guys creep me out these days. A lot of old women bug me too. Pretty much I like animals.

Wednesday, September 27


Today is garbage day. My alarm on my IPad went off at 5am. I slept in the sofa recliner again last night for my breathing and also to not keep Mike awake all night again. Tonight I may sleep in bed again. I collected the garbage, fed the dog, made coffee and made myself toast and two over easy eggs. I had to eat so I could take my medicine. My breathing is better and my bronchial tubes are feeling more clear. I’m coughing out a lot of it. I got dressed and took Bitzi for a mile and a half way. It rained again last night and the air was cool but super humid. I was drenched with sweat when we got back. I had to put my hair up in a high ponytail because I couldn’t stand it on my face and neck. My daughter Samantha quit doing hair about 5 years ago. I haven’t been to a beauty salon since then. I’ve walked into Great Clips a couple times a year and gotten cuts and trims. I’ve colored it myself. Now I’ve stopped coloring and have been trying to wash all the remaining dye out the last couple months. Tomorrow I have an appointment with an actual beautician at a real hair salon. I’m going to have her trim up my hair and put in highlights to transition to my natural color (which is now pale reddish blonde and white). I have high hopes and am looking forward to it.

Yesterday my brother-in-law Pete 73 had outpatient surgery at OSF hospital in Peoria to repair a hernia and to install a dialysis port. In three weeks once it’s healed up he can begin giving himself at- home dialysis treatments. That’s so amazing it boggles my mind. My sister Sallie 69 fell the other day while outside tending her animals and cracked a few ribs so she’s taking care of Pete while dealing with a lot of pain herself. 

Now Mike’s aunt may move in with his mom. That would provide companionship for them both. Mike is pretty happy at that idea. His aunt has a bad situation where she’s at currently. I hope it works out. 

I am going grocery shopping and getting a box of frozen pork Schnitzels at Aldi to have with sauerkraut. I love German food. AND I’m getting a few pumpkins to decorate the front porch!


I’m back from the store. I got a lot of good stuff. I’m waiting for the neighbor lady to call me back. She’s 92 and has to be driven to the DMV in her car so she can take her driving test. She’s been in the hospital a couple times the past month with a bleeding ulcer and heart arrhythmia. I’ll take her but she has to call and schedule it. Now we’re going to the Chicago Premium Outlet Mall in Aurora.

Tuesday, September 26


Now it’s early afternoon on Tuesday. I had a 7am video doctor visit and he ordered me some medicine. I have prednisone and a week of antibiotics. I’m still wheezing and coughing and running a low fever. I wish I could just flip a switch and have it be gone.

Mike went over to his mom’s to help her do a video appointment with her radiology oncologist. Last week he took her for a CT of her chest to check for results of the 5 radiation treatments she had on her lung tumor. We already saw her results online. The original one that got the radiation has shrunk but now there are nine new ones. Her memory, moods and behavior are getting worse. She also has cancer in her brain. It’s not a good situation.

Monday, September 25

Trudging forward

I’m feeling a bit better today. I have a low fever. I’m still congested but not as bad. I feel that I slept better last night than Saturday night. I still don’t really feel up to going out anywhere or doing much of anything. I’m having random stabbing pain in my extremities and occasional right ear pain. Yesterday I felt like a 3 on a 1-10 scale. Today I’d say 4.5. 

Saturday, September 23

Funky town

It’s just before noon on Saturday. The weather is beautiful and sunny with a gentle breeze. I am sick with some cold or sinus funky stuff. My head feels full and I’ve been coughing and blowing my nose. I don’t know if it’s pollen sensitivity or what. No fever.

I repotted four plants I had rotted in glasses of water on the kitchen window sill. I just gave away a TON of houseplants to my daughters. I do not need to be making new plants.

I drove over to the bank and signed the last papers to transfer control of the neighborhood checking account to me and another rep Mary. There has been a silly amount of signing BS and proof of identity for that puddly little account. Now the bank is still waiting for Mary to do her signatures.

Friday, September 22


It’s Friday morning and I’m home. The last day or so I felt like I was starting to get a cold and sore throat and it became pretty clear last night. I woke up several times during the night with a soreness and thick yucky throat issue going on. This morning I’ve gargled with salt water a couple times and took 1 Advil cold and sinus caplet and am feeling a little better. I have been taking “EmergenC” immune boosting formula the last couple months along with probiotic gummies, a multivitamin and extra B-12 in hopes of being sick less and up until now it seems to have been working. Almost every September I get a full blown sick with sinus and respiratory infections, even pneumonia so always trying to avoid that miserable bullshit.

I’ve been subbing a little the last couple weeks and Tuesday was very worst experience to date and I ended up telling the office I was leaving at lunch break and I did. It was a third grade class of ridiculously bad, disrespectful, out of control kids and almost no plans left from their regular teacher- no class roster, seating chart, emergency plans. There were only a couple worksheets to fill the day and the kids blew through them, not trying and not caring about rules or respect. Some of the well mannered and I felt very sorry for them. I had 3 boys removed from class (one at a time for physical aggression and disrespect.) The principal came in two different times and so did the assistant principal. The kids settled down a little when the administrators came in but ramped back up as soon as they left. I have never in my life ever encountered such a shit show. And they were third graders!

As soon as I walked out I got in my car, got on my phone and canceled the sub jobs for the same school that were for the rest of the week! NO WAy am I ever going back to that place!

I have been trying to erase that from my thoughts since Tuesday. I am trying to be positive. I have had many positive enjoyable experiences as a sub and as a regular teacher. Kids these days sure have changed though! I have six remaining scheduled sub jobs that I haven’t canceled yet. I’m going to try as best I can to prepare in advance, take my own fun worksheets and activities and try to avoid any future shit shows like Tuesday. I can’t let one horrendous group of assholes ruin any future sub experiences I might do. Stay positive. 

We are supposed to go to Glen Ellen Sunday afternoon and babysit for Aiden and Charlotte. Aiden is 2.5 and Charlotte just turned 1. Mikes has a little bit of a sore throat too but he says it’s only mild. I am supposed to drive down to Canton Monday and stay for a few days so my cold is going to decided what I do in the coming days.

Yesterday I made chicken vegetable soup and took an elderly neighbor to a doctor’s appointment. She was in the medical building for over and hour and 45 minutes. I just sat in my car some of the time and also slowly drove around the parking lot a few times. The medical building has specialists in it. The next building has family practice doctors and lab and X-ray facilities. Next to that is the Huntley Northwestern Hospital and next to that is the cardiac rehab building and next to that is a wellness/fitness center with a pool, tennis courts, exercise equipment, etc…. So the whole thing is a big complex so I was slowly creeping around all parts of the vast parking areas waiting for Sue to come out. I’ve taken her to 4 or 5 different appointments as I’ve been able. I’ve also taken a couple other people for appointments and done errands and shopping for a couple neighbors. I don’t mind if they’re nice, polite and appreciative. I have, however, found that some of them are bossy, rude and entitled acting and tell you how to drive, what you did wrong, that you were a minutes late or early and that just ruins it for me. Somebody tries to be nice and help you and yet some people are assholes. I sure in the hell hope I don’t ever get like that. Jesus Lord please don’t allow me to become that. 

*No good deed goes unpunished*

I was looking forward to going down to Fulton County and seeing my family’s but also was looking forward to seeing some good fall country scenery and going to the orchard in Lewistown. I always love taking the grandkids there. They have a corn maze and lots of cool play equipment for all ages. They have apples and other produce, baked goods, caramel apples, wine, canned good, etc….

My brother-in-law is in stage 4 kidney failure and barely hanging on. My niece is still going through the testing process to donate a kidney to him but the situation is critical. Today or Monday he’s getting a dialysis port surgically installed in his abdomen. He then has to heal for three weeks before he can start getting dialysis. He will have the home kind where he is shipped containers of some kind of dialysis fluid and those are hooked up to his port and it flushes all the toxins out and he pees it out. No going in to a hospital or dialysis center. They can do it at home themselves. He has been feeling worse and weaker as the days pass so hopefully soon when the dialysis starts things will improve for him and my sister. If I am feeling better and I go down there this week I will try to see them if I can.

Mike’s mother is continuing to get worse with her memory and mood. I’m not sure what has to happen so she won’t be living alone. Most days there are people going over there checking on her, taking her to appointments, trying to get her to eat. She is now down to 92 pounds at 5’1”. She forgets almost everything you tell her and will ask you the same question over and over and over. She forgets to eat, she forgets to take her pills. A couple times she’s left the stove on. She can dress herself, walk the dog, turn on TV, text on her phone. She gets occasional episodes where she gets angry and cusses people out and has thrown her sisters out of the house before. She has  lung cancer which has spread to her brain. The chemo didn’t work and stronger chemo would kill her or make her intensely sick. She had some palliative radiation to help her breathe better and stop spitting up blood so much. It’s a very difficult situation. She’s 84 1/2. I don’t know what’s going to happen in the next year in our family. You can only hope for the best and try to stay positive.