6:30am Thursday

I’m awake in a hotel room waiting for my grandsons to wake up so we can get ready to leave and drive home to my house. It’s a good day and I’m looking forward to the fun we’ll have. There has been a lot going on the past several weeks and I haven’t had much time for the kids to come stay this summer. We have construction going on at home and I’ve had a lot of other things to tend to.

Family and health are the most important things. I need to keep working on both. My grandkids are Lola, Milo, Waylon, Oscar, Hennessy, Arlo, Jackson, Aiden, Oliver, Connor and coming soon in September Charlotte. Four are from Mike’s kids and the rest are from my kids. If Mike and I had had a child together I’m sure it would have had a big head and big eyes.

The boys want to go fishing when we get home. They’re pretty crazy about fishing now. 

Staying afloat

It’s 3:30 on Friday. I’m sitting in the bedroom. The flooring installer guy is out working in the main parts of the house. Mike is back in his office working. Most of the stuff from those rooms getting new flooring is piled up in this bedroom. I haven’t been feeling well the last couple days and my fever is back and I’m still congested. I’m so sick of this I could just give up and die. 

5/31

It’s 9:30. I’m hiding in the bedroom with the dog. The flooring installer is out in the living room using a loud grinder. Mike is leaving to take his mom to the oncologist. Tomorrow is her first chemo.

Patience is a virtue

It’s a lovely sunny day. I just took a nice bath.

Mike is on the phone with his brother about his mom’s progressing cancer, starting chemo treatments and rapidly increasing short-term memory problems. It’s a growing concern and she’s becoming more agitated.

I’m feeling better than when I went to the doctor Friday. He wanted to put me in the hospital but then agreed to let me go home and take the steroids and antibiotics and take my oxygen saturation readings. He said if it goes back down to 90 go to the ER. The doctor called me Sunday morning to check on me. I have improved a lot. I just am not over it yet. Every little forward step helps.

My son is incarcerated (for parole violation and driving with suspended license)  in a federal holding facility in Chicago for the next 6 months. His release date is 12/13. Both my sons have been in trouble for meth use and driving on suspended licenses. It’s been an ongoing struggle and heartache for years. 

My husband has caught the flu bug I have although he has milder symptoms so far. He’s like a sore-assed bear when he’s sick. I try to help but he snarled at me so I just give him space. 

In the past couple weeks I’ve removed myself from social media. I don’t need the drama. Those people are not real friends. I’m so over it. My family, my home, my plants, my shihtzu Bitzi bring me love and joy. I need to spend more time in the country, more time in nature. I need to heal my spirit. 

5-9-22

Today is Monday. I’ve been up for a couple hours and outside three times. I have the back sliding door open to the screen door letting fresh air in the house. There are lots of lovely sweet bird sounds coming from the marsh down the hill from the back yard.

This afternoon I have an appointment at the Cardinal Bernadine Cancer Center at Loyola Medical Center in Maywood with my new oncologist Dr. Scott Smith. This is my first time meeting him. Dr. Stiff retired at the end of March. He was the greatest doctor ever. I’m hoping Dr.Smith is great too. I’m assuming he is. It’s just a routine check up but I’m going to request to have a brain MRI. I haven’t had one since 2017 and you just never know…..I had the big seizure out of the blue in 2015 because my brain cancer was back but in 2013 I was told I was cured and didn’t need any more MRIs….so….

Tomorrow I’m driving to Lewistown to babysit until Thursday then driving home around 1. Friday I am subbing and then subbing the next two weeks. The flooring installation starts the week of the 23rd. 

The guy who does all the high school sports coverage for the newspaper that works for Mike had triple bypass surgery and is recovering. Mike is doing his own job and helping fill in for the other guy too so has been super busy at work.