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Showing posts with the label disoriented

Adrift in the ocean

It’s Monday morning. It’s still odd to me how time now seems like a blur with the pandemic, so many working from home, my retirement, listening to the Covid-19 reports every day. Just a really weird period we’re going through. This is the first day of online back to school classes for my former school district. It’s an odd feeling but I have no regrets.  I have a 2:15 indoor pool slot scheduled to go exercise. Yesterday I went for a couple walks and planted two rose bushes. I’m doing laundry right now. I’ve taken Bitzi outside walking around the yard twice this morning. She is too distracted staring at things, sniffing and trying to chew sticks and leaves. We went to the wedding Friday night. There was a huge tent in their big back yard with tables for fifty people, a makeshift alter and a dance floor. The flower arrangements were beautiful. The catered food and service were excellent. Saturday we took my mother-in-laws tiny yorkie to the vet to put her down. She had kidney failure and

Getting through it

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9:52 am Sunday It get occasional waves of anxiety about this pandemic situation. I try to not be a total swamp bitch to my husband but sometimes I daydream about punching him in the mouth. I don’t think I could run fast enough to realistically ever actually do that. Well, maybe if he was sleeping. It is nice to have someone to cuddle up with and rub my feet at night though. I’m on my fourth cup of coffee so that may be adding to my being a little more cranked up. Mike is, of course, watching the news. I’m so sick of the news I want to smash them all in the teeth with a hammer too. Of course I never actually act on these violent thoughts but at least I can visualize it. It’s starting to get to me how insensate and oblivious my spouse is. Our twenty two years together have been sweetly seasoned with me going away for a few days at least once a month. It has given our marriage breathing room.i did actually get out alone and go grocery shopping alone the other day and I was gone a couple h

Deep in the abyss

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So now it;s Thursday. Mike just left for work finally. It’s 9:53. He starts late. This is my last vacation day to myself. I’m going to the pool / spa in a little while. I scrubbed the stove down this morning with an SOS pad. Mike said it still smelled like fish in the kitchen after the New Years Eve seafood cooking on top of the stove. I didn’t smell it but my sense of smell hasn’t returned to normal since the stem cell transplant four years ago. I can smell some things but not like other normal people. Whatever... It’s bright and sunny but colder today. I have decided not to worry about my kids. They’re all adults. I’ve spend enough time worrying about them. Things always turn out okay.  So push that aside. My pink eye shit is better but not gone completely. Yesterday and last night I rubbed fresh aloe juice on and in them and put a wet washcloth over my eyes quite a bit. Very soothing. They still look a little puffed. I haven’t put on any eye makeup for a couple days. My brows and la

Rolling in the deep abyss

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So now it;s Thursday. Mike just left for work finally. It’s 9:53. He starts late. This is my last vacation day to myself. I’m going to the pool / spa in a little while. I scrubbed the stove down this morning with an SOS pad. Mike said it still smelled like fish in the kitchen after the New Years Eve seafood cooking on top of the stove. I didn’t smell it but my sense of smell hasn’t returned to normal since the stem cell transplant four years ago. I can smell some things but not like other normal people. Whatever... I have lost all sense of days of the week over Christmas break and feel completely disoriented like I’m floating in some foggy abyss. It’s bright and sunny but colder today. I have decided not to worry about my kids. They’re all adults. I’ve spend enough time worrying about them. Things always turn out okay.  So push that aside. My pink eye shit is better but not gone completely. Yesterday and last night I rubbed fresh aloe juice on and in them and put a wet washcloth over m