I woke up a couple hours ago wheezing and coughing. I got up and got a drink and tried to cough it out and tried to go back to sleep but every time I did I keep dreaming I had the virus and was being put in isolation on a ventilator. I kept dismissing it, trying to go back to sleep, trying to prop myself up higher on my wedge pillow to help me breathe but the wheezing was worse than normal so I just put a sweater over my pajamas and came out to the front sitting room so I wouldn’t wake Michael. I think I’ve just been reacting to the trees and bushes budding lately causing my increased wheezing the past couple days. It’s just that there’s nonstop TV coverage of all the rising death numbers with this pandemic. In our county so far 234 now positive and 14 deaths.
Yes I need to slap myself and snap the fuck out of it. Don’t be a sissy girl.
6:13 Now I made my second cup of coffee, tidied up the kitchen a bit, opened all the window blinds and used my Symbicort inhaler. I haven’t used it in a long time. I have 3 Zoom instrument sectional meetings with my sixth graders today. I did three private lessons yesterday. I have attended a few Zoom meetings and am becoming somewhat more comfortable with them although not at all at ease or fluent. Thursday I have sectionals with my fifth graders - higher numbers in the groups but I’m sure a lot of them won’t show up. We are just doing our best given the circumstances.
Mike has a Zoom work meeting to attend today, he is pretty damned grouchy and not at all technology friendly. He missed his company’s Zoom training when he took me to Loyola for my oncologist’s check up two weeks ago. I tried to help him learn Zoom last night but he was grouchy and snappy. One of his feet are sore crusty and cracked. He has diabetes and doesn’t take care of himself, watch his diet or check his blood sugar. Foot care is important for diabetics. Last night before I went to bed I got out this foot soak tub I have and had him put his feet in it and I poured peroxide over his foot cracks that are getting infected and are hurting him so much. He is on edge these days about a lot of things: his mother’s cancer and care and treatment, the economy, his job status ( they just cut everyone’s salary by 15% across the board and I’m retiring....), the epidemic and our future. He doesn’t want me going in stores at all now even with a mask and gloves. HE goes in the stores with no mask or gloves and just uses hand sanitizer. There are now twelve reported cases of the virus in our town ( Huntley). I’m not sure if there have been any deaths here but the neighboring towns have rapidly rising numbers of deaths from the virus.
As if those things weren’t enough, the whole politically divided atmosphere in our culture is nearly unbearable. I cannot imagine how so many people have been sucked up into the Trump cult. Seriously. All the white supremacists and KKK and dumb-ass big- mouthed violent nut jobs with their idiotic red MAGA hats. It’s a growing cult.
Okay gotta get off this psycho rant and go for a walk!